Big Brother 16 Episode 5 – First Live Eviction Live Blog & Discussion

The first live eviction is upon us! Will it be Paola or Joey sent packing? And who will seize the power as new dual Head of Households? Follow along and discuss–I’ll be live blogging tonight’s show!

And we’re off! Is it just me or is the Chenbot looking particularly ravishing this season? A vision in blue, Julie! Her brand of polished albeit stoic commentary is such a hallmark of BB. It’s hard to imagine the front yard being occupied by anyone else.

Rewatching the BS boys plotting against Donny is as painful to watch the second time around. They are just trying so damn hard. I’m looking forward to watching BS go up in flames sooner rather than later. Donny’s an absolute lock for Team America, right? After tonight he might be going it alone–it’s not looking so hot for Smurfette. At least her hair will match Julie’s ensemble!

Caleb seems dead set on sending Joey out the door. He tells Paola she’s a lock to stay in the bee hive room while Joey campaigns for votes in the back yard. Brittany is “close friends” with both girls on the block but thinks Joey is a better bet to move forward with while Nicole is undecided but doesn’t really respect Joey’s game. In the bathroom Devin goes to work putting the nail in Joey’s coffin. Thank goodness Victoria can see what a tool this guy is and she proclaims she’s playing her own game. He awkwardly puts his own alliance members on the spot in front of large groups of people. Woof.

At least Joey has realized the error in her ways and she’s now going 1-on-1 to campaign instead of approaching people out in the open (seriously girl, what were you thinking?). Zach skirts around her advances by telling Joey that Devin and Caleb are calling the shots for the house. Oh no–I spoke too soon. She’s now resorted to dressing like a dude, calling herself Alex, and marching around yelling at everyone like a psychotic meathead. It’s pretty hilarious and a completely accurate commentary on the chauvinistic nature of BB; HOWEVER, I have no clue how this will win her any votes. For someone with seemingly considerable intellect she doesn’t have a strategic cell in her blue-capped brain.

It looks like we have our first showmance of the season! Caleb is digging Amber hard. HAHA this montage of him professing his love to every single person EXCEPT Amber is hilarious. Aww poor guy. Amber is definitely not feeling Caleb and he fumbles around trying to tell her how he feels. I’m happy to step in and provide some comfort, big guy.

It’s time for the nominees final pleas. Joey goes a mile a minute and says a lot of words that can essentially be summed up as “I’m better than Paola.” DJ Pow is surprisingly a bit more eloquent and with that it’s time to vote.

Devin, Derrick, Frankie, and Donny all vote to evict Joey. No surprise there. Did “Alex” have any impact on the women of the house? We’ll find out after the break!

Zach, Brittany, Nicole, Christine, Victoria, Jacosta, Hayden, Amber, and Donny vote to evict Joey. It looks like BS got their way with a unanimous vote. If this is what we’re in for all season it is going to be a loooooooooong summer.

Joey is the first houseguest evicted from the Big Brother house. 

Well, like so many “twists” before it, Team America is already a bust. In her post-eviction interview Joey talks about her inability to be stealth. She is extremely awkward which is pretty clearly a defense mechanism for being super embarrassed. She makes a good point about people being sheep which is valid but it’s way too early in the game to be sticking out like a sore thumb. She’s obviously a terrible player so better to see her go now rather than later. Julie tells Joey about a ton of secrets in the house so it seems safe to say that she won’t be given the chance to return to the game at any point this season.

How appropriate, a frat themed HOH competition! Oy. Guys and girls will be competing individually.

In “BB Rager” houseguests will have to walk across the lawn on a balance beam to transport six kegs to the other side of the yard. Amber is off to an early lead followed by Christine. It looks like BS will be here to stay for at least another week.

Amber wins the first HOH competition of the night.

Commercial break sidenote: does anyone else find Halle Berry’s career so sad? This show looks RIDICULOUS. I’ll stick to high-brow fare like a giant lice-themed spelling bee, thank you.

And the guys are off! Derrick is out immediately. Hayden takes the lead with Devin shortly behind. Hayden is a complete wildcard, I hope her can take it. OH NO!!!! He fell at the very last second and Cody was able to sweep in for the win. It looks like we are in for another week of Devin disgustingly running the show. BUT WAIT, there may have been a “foul”??? Chenbot is going to rewind her tape during the commercial break to confirm the second HOH. Before the break we find out that indeed Donny is nominated for Team America and he emotionally accepts. This dude must have some really crappy friends if he is this touched by mild compliments.

We’re back and Julie breaks the news that Cody’s foot hit the floor before he pushed his button and DEVIN IS NAMED HOH. This is literally a worst case scenario. UGGGGGGGHHHH.

This Sunday at 8/7c four houseguests will be nominated for eviction and fight it out in the “Battle of the Block” competition. What did you think of tonight’s first live show? Did Joey deserve to get the boot? Is the reign of BS giving anyone else indigestion? Let’s chat in the comments section!