David Letterman came out of retirement for a minute and joined Steve Martin and Martin Short on stage at their A Very Stupid Conversation performance in Austin Texas, to deliver a Top 10 list at Donald Trump’s expense.
“I am so happy to be out of the house!” said a heavily bearded Dave, who said goodbye to the CBS Late Show, ending a 30+ year career in late night television. “I retired and I had no regrets, none. I was happy. I was complacent. I was satisfied. I was content. And then a couple of days ago, Donald Trump said he was running for president. I have made the biggest mistake of my life, ladies and gentlemen.”
David Letterman presented a list of unknown facts about Donald Trump. Note the numerous references to that thing on his head:
10. That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack
9. During sex Donald Trump calls out his own name
8. Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.
7. He wants to build a wal. How about building a wall around that thing on his head.
6. Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional bulls**t..Oh wait. That’s me.
5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds. 250 with cologne.
4. Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free range.
3. If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving.
It’s a tie! #3 – That’s not a hairdo. It’s a wind advisory
2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie titled “No Amigos.”
1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.
Watch David Letterman deliver the list here: