Live blogging America’s Got Talent. The last set of 12 perform tonight for the judges!
OMG. I decided to live blog AGT this year, and I’m sorry I did. Even with the addition of Howard Stern–who is an entertaining broadcaster–to the judges’ panel, it’s still boring as hell. Most of the acts, with a few exceptions, are mediocre. The Olympics will give us a break for a few weeks.
Going through tomorrow: Olate Dogs, Joe Castillo, William Close and either Eric Dittleman or Sebastien.
David “The Bullet” Smith – The judges head outside to watch a guy shoot himself out of a canon. Tonight’s cannon shot is much farther and much higher. He’s got cheerleaders dancing as he loads himself up in the canon. He’s attempting a 40 yard field goal through goal posts. He’ll sail 70 feet high. He makes it. But so what? This is not an exciting act. OMG. There’s a cannon cam. Still not exciting. Howard – 85 percent of people who try it are dead. It’s entertaining as hell. People got to vote. Sharon: Sharon wants him to fly over a bed of alligators on fire. Howie: Amazing. But what do you do next? What if you shot yourself out of Nick Cannon? “It’s a family show” Nick answers. – 1-866-602-4801
All That – Burly male cloggers. They want to show America how cool clogging is. They dance to “Black Betty.” They add acrobatics and mock fighting. It’s like they want to make sure that we know they are REAL MEN. TESTOSTERONE BABY. They are pretty solid dancers, but I keep hearing that they competed on an early season, so I’m a little confused. Sharon: She wants them to come back with leather trousers and no top. Lots of oil. Howie: Thinks it’s amazing. He likes them, but thinks the competition tonight will be tough. Howard: He loves the night, but wonders if it’s enough to earn America’s vote. – 1-866-602-4802
Ulysses – He’s the guy who sings TV theme songs and has gotten this far to provide fodder to the mock Howard/Howie battle. He sings the American Bandstand theme with dancers. He’s not bad enough to be funny. This is just boring. He’s wearing a curly wig and looks ridiculous. Howie: He hated the big production values. Howard: He compares him to terrorists. Really? He doesn’t think it’s fair to the other acts. Sharon: Also hates the big production values. I don’t see much of a difference. He sucked before, and he sucks now. – 1-866-602-4803
Joe Castillo – He draws pictures in sand. He uses his hands to morph sand into constantly flowing pictures. Tonight’s montage preaches an ecology message–each picture representing an animal in danger. It’s a really neat trick, but I’m not sure what kind of act it would be? Howard: “You continue to amaze me. You are unique, amazing, people should vote for you.” Howard hates his hat, but thinks he’s a genius. Sharon: That was absolutely incredible. So beautifully executed. Howie: When you can combine a message with a talent, it comes with your soul. – 1-866-602-4804
Sebastien “El Charro De Orro” – “Besame Mucho” – Young boy who sings mariachi. He’s super precocious. Vocally he’s OK, but people respond to his little kidness than to anything else. Sharon: She loves what he does. Aw. He’s crying! Everyone is going to vote for him now. Sharon lays on more compliments. He continues to cry. Howie: I think you just ran all the way to the finish line. You have an old soul “a mexican male Howard: After saying something inane to him in Spanish, he says I love you, I love your act. Sebastien was crying because he’s one step closer to helping his brother. – 1-866-602-4805
Eric Dittleman – Mind reader who is actually playing it like he really reads minds. He insists it’s not a magic act, but of course it is. He did a confusing trick with cases that played on Howie’s “Deal or No Deal” show. It was a little confusing. But I’m thinking he has a way to flip numbers at the last minute? That was a pretty good illusion. All of the judges were really impressed. – 1-866-602-4806
William Close and the Earth Harp Collective – He builds huge string instruments that span across the audience. They are like living organisms. Pretty impressive. Tonight, he’s got a singer with him. He’s performing The Who’s “Love Reign O’er Me”, with instrumentalists behind him performing on home made percussion. The judges and audience give him a standing ovation. Howie: I think you’ve won the whole contest. You are an amazing engineer. Sharon: I have never seen an act at this professional level Howard: This is almost unbeatable what I’m seeing here. All three would be willing to produce his show. – 1-866-602-4807
Unity in Motion – This young troupe is a mixture of dance, gymnastics and acrobatics. Wow. That choreographer has a little Abby Lee going on there. The girls are pretty talented, but like most of the kiddie acts on this show, I am not wowed. Howard: These young girls are the best dance act we have. You guys deserve it…it’s a difficult night. Sharon: Absolutely perfect. Howie: I think you’re real good. The bar has been raised the whole season. May not be spectacular enough. – 1-866-602-4808
Eric and Olivia – “Dynamite” by Taoi Cruz – They are a duo, BUT DEFINITELY NOT A COUPLE. She sings. He plays guitar. Oh. He’s dating someone right now. The arrangement is pretty bland. I think I’m mostly super played out on acoustical types flipping pop songs. Sharon: You have a great voice. Unusual. America is going to have a tough time. Howie: Talented and beautiful–but it’s more a lounge act than a million dollar act. Howard: There was no emotional connection to the song. Olivia got lost in the arrangement. – 1-866-602-4809
Lindsey Norton – This high schooler is a solo dancer. She’s very bendy, but I wouldn’t call what she does dancing exactly? It resembles a gymnastics competition routine. She shows off a slew of impressive moves, but she needs a choreographer really badly. She’s awfully cute, though. Howie: Impressive. America you have a problem tonight. Howard: You are a beautiful graceful woman. You deserve to go through. Sharon: Everything about you is so lovely. You are an absolute delight. – 1-866-602-4810
Horse – This guy can take shots to the nuts. That’s his act. His entire act. Tonight’s “routine” has a super hero theme. With lots of pratfalls. This is so stupid. How many dumb ways can this guy get hit in the nuts? Oh. He got hit in the face by accident. Now THAT has to hurt. He does beat up and the nut-cracking bad guys in the end. Howard: You are a mad man. You did not drop the ball tonight. Either you love it or hate it. I happen to think it’s hysterical. Sharon: I don’t quite know what to say. You are entertaining. Howie. I love that you added a story to it. You could do the Nutcracker Suite. – 1-866-602-4811
Olate Dogs – OMG. A dog act. THOSE PUPPIES ARE AWESOME. So cute. The trainer has his dogs jumping over obstacles, doing back flips, sliding down slides. One cute bit had the trainer chasing the dog around as if he refused to get up on the slide (it was part of the act) then the puppy slid down the slide backwards. Sharon: A standing ovation! They are magnificent! I’m going to kidnap those dogs. Howie: They are truly amazing. I have never seen this skill so much personality. Reminds me of the Ed Sullivan Show. Howard: Each act has been better and better and better. Howard talks about the bond dog lovers have with their pets (He just lost his pet bull dog) “You’ve done a spectacular job.” Some of the pups are rescue dogs. – 1-866-602-4812
