Glee Season 6 Episode 9 Recap – Child Star – Performance Videos
Child Star would have been a perfect little throw away in a 22 episode Glee season. But with only 11 short weeks to wrap up the stories of the characters we have grown to love over 6 seasons, I’m not sure there was an episode to spare.
Not only were there no graduates, but Kurt and Blaine were also absent–apparently off on their honeymoon somewhere. I’m sorry, but core characters should not be cut out of episodes at this point in the series! Yes, we’ve got this lovely new cast of characters, who deserve the spotlight, but not at the expense of the originals.
The focus tonight was on the newbies and the new newbies. TWO additional characters were introduced in “Child Star.” One is a precocious and demanding 13 year old boy. The club performs with him at his Bar Mitzvah, and he’s so impressed that he gets a genius transfer to McKinley. It doesn’t hurt that his Uncle is superintendent. In summary: The newest member of New Directions is a middle schooler. The other character, Alistair, is Spencer’s new boyfriend. He seems really cool. But FOUR MORE EPISODES LEFT. This is really a weird time to introduce new people. Alistair we’ll hardly know ye.
Sue Sylvester’s retirement of her “hurt locker” lasted exactly 4 episodes. Now she’s back to being pissed off and hating Will Shuester and the Glee club, hell bent on destroying them once and for all…zzzz… In the promo for next week, Sue says “You’ve crossed me for the last time Will Shuester!” to which he replies, “Do you have any idea how many times you’ve said that?” Even the writers know it’s ridiculous. Season 6 has been all about celebrating tropes and driving them into the ground even further, as if that’s what the fans who are left watching want. I don’t know. Maybe they do.
Despite my complaints, the new kids really ARE talented. Billy Lewis Jr. who plays Mason is a star. I LOVE his voice. Ditto Jane, who just sparkles on stage. Ilove Noah Guthrie’s raspy growl. The thing is, this is the cast that should have been introduced in Season 4. It seems almost mean to offer them up for such a short period of time.
When our story begins, Roderick is struggling in gym class–he can’t pass the presidential fitness test. The big hurdle is rope climbing. Sue humiliates him in front of the class. There are call backs to season 1, as she screams “SLOPPY BABIES!” at the class and “You think this is hard, try consuming your own twin in Utero. That’s hard.”
Meanwhile, Spencer has his eye on a long haired beauty named Alistair who won’t give him the time of day. After Roderick’s humiliation in gym class, Spencer is really rude to him, calling him dead weight and chastising him for not staying in shape. But when he discovers that Spencer and Alistair are friends and lab partners, he changes his tune. He comes on to Alistair in front of Roderick, bragging about their friendship, and how he’s Roderick’s “inspiration.” When he shows off his biceps and says “You can touch the guns. I promise the safety is on.” (wut?) Alistair excuses himself. Roderick calls Spencer out on his embarrassing attempt at flirting. “The weirdest thing I’ve ever seen,” Roderick laughs.
Sue has more in mind than just whipping her boys into shape. Bob Harris, The superintendent has dropped by, and she asks him to sign a “Principal of the Year” recommendation that has a slew of ridiculous exaggerations in it (I have a feeling this will come back to haunt Sue. Soon.) Bob is more interested in asking Sue for a favor. His 13 year old nephew, Myron, is about to celebrate his Bar Mitzvah and he’d like the glee club to work on a big number with him.
When little Myron gives the Glee club a demonstration of his talents in the auditorium, their jaws drop. “Lights!” he shouts, as the curtain rises and the boy
launches into a sassy, glammy, over the top performance of Destiny Child’s “Lose My Breath,” complete with backup dancers who rip off his suit to reveal a glittery outfit.
This kid is really talented! He’s also kind of a monster. After the performance, he asks for notes. When Kitty suggests the dancers smile more, Myron throws a tantrum and fires them all, “GET OFF THIS STAGE. NOW BITCHES.” Sue Sylvester has met her match in a tiny package!
Myron demands that the auditorium be used for his big party, and that the Glee club be his opening act. Sue offers everything up without question, even though the club hardly has the time with sectionals coming up in two weeks. Because show choir rules won’t allow them to be paid (remember the mattress fiasco from season 1?) the club has to turn down the $20,000 he offered initially.
“Hey I thought I told you to leave, skank!” Myron screams at one of the dancers who didn’t leave the stage fast enough. Lovely! Myron is an annoying motor mouth, and every bit the stereotype of the precocious kid. The probability that his shtick will get on my nerves is high, my friends, very high.
Spencer isn’t the only one with a crush. Mason is trying to get with Jane, if only his sister wouldn’t keep interfering. No wonder Kitty calls them the “incest twins.” Madison cock blocks Mason at every turn, literally coming physically between him and Jane at one point. It’s kind of creepy.
When Mason tries to enlist the help of Spencer and Roderick, he explains how their parents were so preoccupied with their own showbiz lives (Up with People!) that Madison took over as a second mom. She treats him like a small child, constantly telling him what to do, controlling every aspect of his life. Super creepy. Mason would like one of them to ask her out, to keep her distracted. Of course, Spencer isn’t an option. And Roderick is all “I’m not dating your cray cray sister.”
I LOVE Roderick. He may be an awkward, insecure guy, but he isn’t afraid to call out bullshit when he sees it. His smackdowns are giving me life.
Back in the teacher’s lounge, Will and Rachel have a chat, where it becomes even clearer that she doesn’t know her kids. Will thinks performing at the Bar Mitzvah will force everyone to band together. Later, when When Rachel surprises them with the gig opportunity
, none are excited. “Are we actually going to sing,” Kitty snarks, “or are you about to announce an alumnus walking through the door.” Ouch. But true. Rachel promises that “It’s all about you guys.”
Myron is running Sue ragged and she’s exhausted. She suggests a zillion theme ideas, but he rejects all of them. He wants to descend from the rafters in a giant Faberge pod. When he demands his espresso, says Sue, he says it as if every bean was cultivated specifically for him. He also insists she read the Torah as a bedtime story to help him prepare for his big day.
Myron is such a nightmare, that he blew his entire Bar Mitzvah budget, and now he must resort to using Sue, Will, Sam, Rachel and even Sheldon (Johnny wanna peen as Sue calls him) as backup dancers. Of course, why can’t Sue’s cheerleaders fill in? That would make too much sense. Instead, lets find an awkward way to shoehorn cast members into a production number.
Mason approaches Jane about switching duet partners for Glee. She agrees in a way that says she’s just as into Mason as he is into her. Spencer’s attempt to coach Roderick doesn’t go very well. Mostly because he screams and abuses Roderick like a drill sergeant. When he fails again at the rope climb, Spencer calls him fat and lazy. “This is why my friend doesn’t want to go out with you,” says Roderick. “No one wants to get close to you, because you’re a dick.”
Mason tells Madison he plans to sing with Jane, and his sister has the craxy breakdown you’d expect. When he admits that he wants to go on a date with her, Madison says, “Massive mistake Mason. I won’t allow it.” Jane will pull focus with her impossibly long legs and big hair. When he insists that she not be so controlling, she throws a temper tantrum in the cafeteria, which Jane overhears. She figures it’s better if they don’t do the duet now.
Spencer sings “Friday I’m In Love” by the Cure as he wanders the halls of McKinley, love sick for Alistair, who still won’t give him the time of day–except when he’s sneaking a peek or two at the jock. Spencer finishes the poppy little ditty in front of the Glee club. Rachel and Will are surprised at the love song, but feel it’s not quite right for the Bar Mitzvah. When Will suggests he sing with Roderick, Spencer complains he doesn’t think he should have to perform with a quitter.
; As Spencer and Roderick argue, Rachel’s got a look on her face like, “This was supposed to bring everyone together?”
Now, it’s time for Myron the Musical! Mason is up first as the Leather clad bad boy singing Queen’s “I Want to Break Free.” The teen girls go wild over his angsty crooning. Scary sister is totally appalled, while Jane is totally turned on. Mason is totally pulling off the rock star thing and is pretty sexy out of that cheerleader outfit! Really sads Billy Lewis Jr. will only be with us a few weeks.
Backstage, Madison confronts Mason. The song made her realize that she’s become crazy. She admits that she was terrified and jealous when Mason expressed an interest in Jane because she couldn’t stand the fact that she wasn’t the only lady in his life. But now, she’s kind of relieved that he doesn’t need her anymore. Madison took care of Mason because she felt like she had to. Mason insists that he’ll ALWAYS need her, he just needs some room to allow other people in. They agree that they are both better people because of the other. HUGS. TWINNING!
When Myron gets trapped in his stage pod up in the rafters, Sue orders Spencer to climb the ropes to save him. Spencer thinks Roderick should do it instead. “This time I’m being the right kind of dick,” says Spencer, “I’m telling you that you can do this.” Kitty suggests, like a person in the real world would, to get a ladder. Instead, Roderick dons a pair of gloves, and suddenly he can shimmy up a slim rope to fix a pulley. He barely breaks a sweat, talking to himself in voice over like it’s no big deal. It’s bizarre.
In the meantime, Myron has pooped himself during the tantrum he pulled in the pod. He needs Sue and a wad of baby wipes to attend to that stat. In his place, the New Directions band together to sing “Uptown Funk.” THIS IS REALLY GOOD. Jane, Roderick and Spencer take the leads. So much fun. Kids from the audience jump on stage to break dance. Even Superintendent Bob and the really old people like it.
Cut to a rehearsal room where Will is putting the gang through their dance paces. An aggravated Sue loses her temper and takes it out on Will, hurling the usual insults. She’s irritated that he’s back at McKinley after finding him a lucrative job coaching Vocal Adrenaline. Will rubs it in that Sue still has a crush on the superintendent, which is why she won’t go after HIM. Oh. Remember when Bob mistook Sue for a man? BURN. Will keeps calling her “Susie-Q” which makes her even madder. She goes insane and attacks Will, wrestling him to the ground. She probably would have killed him if Bob didn’t come by and interrupt them.
Backstage, Alistair is sitting cross legged on top of the piano, playing a ukulele. He’s musical! Spencer finds him and wonders what he’s doing there. Roderick told him about the Bar Mitzvah and that he wouldn’t want to miss Spencer’s performance. “And man was he right,” says Alistair. “You’ve got some moves varsity blues.” He’s coming around! He apologizes to Spencer for ignoring him. Roderick’s stories about how Spencer stood up for him and had his back impressed him. He figures that underneath the macho exterior, Spencer is really sweet. Plus, “I’m not blind. You’re ridiculously HOT.” Spencer invites him to join the Glee club. “I don’t know,” teases Alistair. “I might be a loser, but am I that much of a loser?” Spencer convinces him with a sudden kiss. NEW ROMANCE!
It’s time for the big number! Will threatens to trip Sue so she falls in front of a bunch of 13 year olds. He manages to behave himself as the group–New Directions, plus Will, Sue, Beiste, Sam, Rachel and Myron perform “Break Free” by Ariana Grande Myron descends in his pod! Sheldon gets a solo, as does Rachel and Sam. It finishes with Myron hoisted on Spencer and Mason’s shoulders.
These great production numbers are making the episode for me.
Back at school, Roderick thanks Spencer for challenging him to make some important changes. He’s eating right and working out now. He teases Spencer about Alistair. They are finally going out. “He’s the first guy who actually makes me nervous,” Spencer says.
Sue arrives at the office with Myron. He’s just transferred to McKinley and will be joining the Glee club. He screams at her that she’s not his mother and can speak for himself before kicking her and running off, with Rachel in hot pursuit. Poor Rachel has, on her hands, basically herself on steroids. Also, It’s fun to see Sue having to take crap from a kid.
The story: It turns out Myron’s uncle forced the school board to allow his nephew to leave the middle school environment due to his prodigious talent. Will gloats that the newest member of the Glee club is a member of the superintendents family, which renders the club untouchable. This makes Sue even more determined to destroy the Glee club as she heads back to her hurt locker with a fresh batch of photos to pin to her wall. Yawn.
Back at McKinley, Myron makes a new friend. Ha ha. He’s using a step stool to reach his locker. He thanks Kitty for lending him her panties after he soiled himself in the pod. He gives her some cash. Which she keeps. He forks over more money for “some sugar.” She denies him, but promises that if he keeps the cash coming, he’ll always have a friend in Glee club.
Rachel feels Glee has turned a corner, now that they have 8 members. She and Will trade warm fuzzies before heading to the auditorium to watch the kids perform. Will considers Rachel a peer now. He’s proud that she’s evolved into an intelligent young woman.
The episode closes with the NEW NEW NEW Directions singing “Cool Kids” by Echosmith on stage. Everybody gets a verse! Rachel and Will look on proudly.
Glee Season 6 Songs! Listen to FULL AUDIO Streams From “Child Star” Episode 9
Glee Season 6 Spoilers: Plot Details “Child Star” Episode 9
Glee Season 6 Spoilers: Plot Details “The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester” Episode 10 airing March 6
Glee Season 6 Spoilers – A Look At What’s Ahead (Updated: 2/27)
Glee Episode 10 – “The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester” Promo