Glee Season 3 Episode 8 – Hold On to 16

There’s so much to love about Glee Season 3. It hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been damn good. Case in point is this week’s sectionals episode. Last year’s episode had Kurt exiled to Dalton and the Warblers singing some lame-ass Train song. I can’t even remember what New Directions sang.

“Hold on to 16” not only featured some fabulous performances, but it wove a lovely story around our favorite high school characters—that you’re only young once and it goes by all too fast. It’s the lesson that finally brings the fractured Glee club back together in the end.

The show opens with Rachel warning Quinn that ratting out Shelby and Puck’s relationship to Principal Figgins could have a lasting and terrible effect on her birth daughter Beth. Rachel has dropped by McKinley to pick up some school work. Otherwise, she’s banished for trying to rig the presidential election in favor of Kurt. She’s handling her banishment from sectionals really well—even offering to help Quinn with her vocals.

Conveniently, McKinley High will be hosting sectionals for the first time since 1963! As Will Shuester tries to figure out the set list, Finn thinks the group needs to worry about their lack of star power. He comes up with the bright idea of hunting down Sam Evans aka Trouty Mouth in Kentucky where he and the family are living now.

It’s a random idea that seems to come out of nowhere, but who doesn’t want to see the return of Sam?

Meanwhile, The Most Adorable Couple in the World are having coffees at the Lima Bean. Kurt fills out a job application while he frets that he’ll NEVER get into NYADA if New Directions loses at sectionals. Blaine laments that he wants to help, but Finn blocks him at every turn.

Enter the Evil Gay Warbler, Sebastian. What comes next is a short, but delicious face off between Kurt and the annoying interloper. When a very nervous Blaine goes to get more coffee, Kurt bitchily reads Sebastian the riot act, in the most hilarious way possible. I loved the way Kurt kept a smile on his face the entire time, even when Sebastian called him “gay face” and swore he’d be stealing Blaine away. Kurt’s final word might be one of the best Glee one liners evah: “You smell like Craig’s list”.

It was awesome that Kurt handled the situation like the boyfriend with the upper hand, even as Blaine refuses to just put his foot down with Sebastian. It turns out that the Warblers won their sectionals competition. There will be more Sebastian in our future. As long as Blaine stays sober and away from Sebastian, in that order, Kurt has nothing to worry about.

Rachel and Finn track down Sam to a stripper club in Kentucky where Sam is exotic dancing for the ladies as “white chocolate”. Oh hooray–It’s a shirtless Sam strutting his stuff! After Rachel hands a mortified Sam a dollar, he meets his old friends to describe what life’s been like since his family left Ohio.

Sam’s Dad finally found a job in construction, but the family still struggles. Hence the boy’s secret job as cougar-bait. He makes a lot of money—the ladies love his boy-next-door routine. Rachel says Sam will lose that innocent quality the ladies love if he continues down the path he’s on. Finn and Rachel want to bring him back to McKinley to help them win sectionals. The trio head to Sam’s house to talk to his parents. When Sam reveals that he misses being a teenager, his mom begins to cry. There’s nothing sadder than a kid forced to grow up too fast. After assurances that Sam will have a place to stay, Trouty’s parents (who have no idea he was stripping) agree to let him go. John Schneider turns in a nicely understated performance as Sam’s dad.

Three of the jazz band dudes join New Directions to help meet sectionals’ membership requirements. Just as the kids feel ready to throw in the towel, Sam makes his triumphant return! Ahhh! The kids are so happy, they don’t even mind when he launches into a rendition of the lame-ass song “Red Solo Cup”. Well, Kurt minds, as he keeps a stink face on for most of the performance, mouthing the words “What’s wrong with you!” to boyfriend Blaine, who has inexplicably morphed into a good ole boy.

Even Santana drops by to celebrate—reading off a list of horrible insults to which Sam responds, “I missed you too.” A big hug for his ex-squeeze!

Quinn views Sam’s return as yet another opportunity to put on the crazy. When she tells Sam she thinks he’d be a good father to baby Beth, he just laughs at her “rich white girl problems”. Unlike Sam– she’s got the opportunity to be free and young. Sam quotes John Mellancamp’s “Jack and Diane” to make his point. “Hold on to 16 as long as you can.” Quinn, however, is still not quite ready to get the message.

Tina tries to strategize dance school admissions with Mike. But it turns out he’s so devastated by his dad’s cold shoulder– he’s applied pre-med to Stamford. Tina, disappointed by her boyfriend’s lack of commitment, calls him a coward. Obviously torn between his dreams and his family, Mike tells Tina that maybe his Dad was right—the two shouldn’t be together. Ouch.

Back at New Directions rehearsal, the kids try to find a hook that will make their nearly girl-free group appealing to the audience. Blaine suggests some sweet boyband moves, but Sam shoots him down. Sex appeal is what the beleaguered group needs, as he demonstrates a few dirty dance moves. Miffed that he’s been shot down yet again, Blaine accuses Sam of selling out. A shoving match ensues after Blaine declares snottily, “I’m not for sale,” Oh, c’mon, I’ve seen you shake your thang, Blaine. You’re just mad that no one will listen to you!

Next, Finn tracks down a sweaty, wife-beater clad Blaine taking out his anger on a punching bag in the gym. Blaine rips him a new one for giving the newbie nothing but grief since he landed at McKinley. Finn admits he was intimidated and jealous of Blaine’s awesome talent. Blaine looks really, really surprised by this revelation. When Finn proposes that they join forces to get New Directions back on the right track, Blaine softens considerably. He’s in.

My question: Why wasn’t Kurt acting as peacemaker between his boyfriend Blaine and his step-brother Finn? Glee writer’s fail!

Sam tries to get back with Mercedes, who is having none of it. Although by the look on her face, she may be having a few mixed feelings. Sam >>>>> Shane. Just sayin’.

Tina, bootleg DVD of West Side Story in hand, gathers her courage to visit Mike’s father. She tries to convince dad to honor his son’s gift, otherwise Mike will spend the rest of his life doing something he hates just to please his father. She and Mike were born to perform, no matter the consequences. Tina leaves a touched, but unconvinced Mike Chang Sr.

But uh oh—an angry Mike confronts Tina backstage as the groups get ready to perform at sectionals. Dad almost forbade him from competing. Why did Tina stick her nose in his family’s business?

Meanwhile, the Troubletones are so confident–they arrogantly offer members of New Directions a spot in their group after they inevitably take the trophy. Will is pissed. The friendly competition is over. GAME ON PEOPLE.

Quinn says she KNOWS New Directions will win because Puck is a shining star in every conceivable way. Shelby realizes her secret is out.

The show begins. Rachel admits to Finn that she’s devastated, but she stays strong. There are no all-star judges this time around. Unless you count Western Ohio’s BIRTHDAY CLOWN OF THE YEAR, TICKLES!

The first performers have come all the way from Defiance Ohio. It’s the Unitards. And OMG they are fronted by the Gerber Baby herself, Harmony! Rachel and Kurt, still scarred by the NYADA mixer where Harmony and her gang basically cleaned their clocks, are horrified and certain of doom.

Harmony, played by Glee Project runner-up Lindsay Pearce is once again fabulous! Some of you may recognize the backup dancers from SYTYCD including Season 7 runner-up Kent Boyd and Robert Roldan! Lindsay Pearce should have WON Glee Project. But that’s water under the bridge.

After the Unitards take their bows, Rachel follows Quinn out into the hallway to make a last ditch effort to keep her from ratting out Shelby. Not only will Quinn ruin her baby’s life, but it’s no way for New Directions to win the competition. Rachel’s vote-fixing debacle has taught her that doing the wrong thing ultimately feels awful. Rachel convinces Quinn to at least talk to Shelby first.

Quinn confronts Shelby backstage. The troubled teen cuts to the chase—she knows Shelby slept with Puck and is going to get her fired. And furthermore, Quinn was just FINE until Shelby came to town. And for the third time, Quinn is told to hold on to her youth. But this time, the advice comes from someone who knows that once your childhood is gone, it’s gone for good. Even sleeping with Puck didn’t make Shelby feel 18 again. It just made her feel even older.

“It happens really slow,” says Shelby about aging, “And then one day, everything just feels really different.” Quinn says she can’t wait to feel different. Before taking off to enjoy her last few hours as a McKinley teacher, Shelby warns Quinn not to wish away her life.

The Troubletones are next and they are fierce. They mash up “I Will Survive/I Am A Survivor”, as the girls dance together seductively. You want your Brittana moments? They’re here! But the ladies’ hot performance doesn’t appear to faze Finn and Blaine, who do a fist punch and say “We’ve got this.” Sam is backstage really digging him some Mercedes!

New Directions hits the stage! As much as I resisted the choir splitting apart, I came around in the end. Not only are the Troubletones fabulous, but I really dig the way everyone in the core cast gets a moment to shine.

It’s a Jackson family mashup! Things kick off with a light-hearted performance of the Jackson 5’s “ABC” featuring the oft-neglected Tina on lead vocals. Mike and Kurt play Jermaine and Tito to her Michael and it’s pretty awesome. The group adopts a few of Sam’s sexy moves for the number. The best moment is Kurt LITERALLY jumping over Mike to hit center stage with a few sexy moves of his own. The crowd is on its feet! And New Directions officially owns sectionals.

It’s a wonder the kids manage to keep their cool. Mid-way through the number, Mike and Tina nearly lose their place as Mike Sr. enters the auditorium. Kurt almost effs up too when he spies Sebastian in the crowd.

Quinn, Blaine and Artie handle the leads on a dance-heavy performance of Janet Jackson’s “Control”. Quinn gives Shelby the stink eye as she sings about her “control”. The mashup ends with the always-moving “Man in the Mirror” led by Finn, Sam, Artie, Puck and Blaine. Mike sings the last line “Make that change” and dad stands to give him an ovation. The set is arguably the best competition performance by New Directions in 3 seasons of Glee.

The kids leave the stage ecstatic. Blaine and Finn give each other a “we did it” look. Quinn hugs Finn. Puck pulls her into his arms.

While the kids celebrate in the choir room, Mike Sr. takes Mike and Tina aside. In the quickest change of heart EVER, Mike Sr. pledges to support his son’s dreams in any way he can. Watching his son perform made him realize that dancing is his talent, thus his path. And hey, how about those dance school applications? Oh noes! Mike missed the deadlines. But oh yay! Tina did it for him–forged his name and everything. There you go Tina, you little rule breaker! “I love you so much,” says Mike.

Tinkles the Clown is on hand to announce the winners! Harmony and her Unitards come in 3^rd and Gerber Baby looks as happy as if she had won! The remaining groups wait uneasily for the verdict. And of course…New Directions wins! Let the celebration begin! The Troubletones are left devastated.

As Harmony leaves the stage, Kurt tells her she was really good…and whattaya know—she’s only a sophomore! Hi Glee season 4! With that little admission, Ryan Murphy has GOT to be planning to add her to the cast next year. One can only hope.

Back at school, Rachel’s suspension is lifted, but her black mark will remain on her permanent record. She tells Quinn that she hopes NYADA sees her actions as a “an act of artistic defiance”. Quinn is at the principal’s office, but it’s NOT to turn in Shelby. She realizes the consequences of her actions would put her birth daughter’s welfare at risk.

As Quinn reveals her plans to apply to Yale drama school, she and Rachel bond in the moment. Maybe they are both finally growing up. Yet, they realize how important it is to live in the moment. This is their senior year, and they are going to want to remember it for the rest of their lives.

Mercedes, Santana and Brittany are gathered in the girl’s bathroom where Quinn tries to convince them to return to New Directions. Hell to the no. They’ve tasted stepping out as leads. They aren’t ready to give up being stars to the Blaine and Berry show. Well…how about if the Troubletones get to perform at least ONE song in competition? And yes, both Rachel and Will have agreed to that arrangement.

Quinn says after senior year is over, everything will change. “I know I went a little crazy” she says, “but I’m back now.” They can’t have the Best Senior Year Ever if they aren’t all together. Quinn invites them back to the auditorium for a celebratory performance of, fittingly, “We Are Young”. Just as the number begins, the trio arrives—with the tone-deaf Sugar in tow. Oh. They’ll figure something out for her to do! It beats the band dudes as members, right?

And that’s where we end it. Still not sure what happens to Shelby and baby Beth at this point, but New Directions are once again, at least for now, one big happy family.

Download Glee: (Click to Listen to Full Song Streams)

Red Solo Cup – Sam and New Directions
ABC – New Directions
Control – New Directions
Man In the Mirror – New Directions
Survivor / I Will Survive – The Troubletones
Buenos Aires (Glee Cast Version) – Single – Glee Cast
We Are Young – Rachel, Finn etc