Eurovision 2016 Song Contest – Semi Final 1 Power Rankings! (VIDEOS)

Following Mans Zelmerlow’s win with Heroes (the David Guetta rip-off, #sorrynotsorry), this year’s contest is taking place in Stockholm, Sweden!

Australia is still in the contest, but they have to compete in the semi final this year. Also, in very exciting news, the contest will be aired in the USA for the first time ever!

Here is the schedule for this year’s edition:

• SEMI FINAL 1 – Tuesday, May 10th
• SEMI FINAL 2 – Thursday, May 12th
• GRAND FINAL – Saturday, May 14th

All shows are set to begin at 9pm (Stockholm)/8pm (London)/3pm (East coast)/12pm(West coast).

The shows can either be watched through your local EBU member European broadcaster, LOGO TV in the USA, SBS in Australia and, if none of these are an option, via a live stream on the official Eurovision website (link: http://www.eurovision.tv/) or YouTube!

Mateja will be live blogging all the live shows, make sure to join us.

Today, I will be reviewing the songs from semi-final 1. I’d love to see you all come back on Wednesday to have a read of my reviews for semi-final 2, as well as the automatic qualifiers. Come back on Friday for my overall reviews of all the songs after seeing the live performances, so that we can discuss the winner!

As of now, I have three potential winners in mind. One from this semi, one from semi final 2, and one from the automatic qualifiers.

So let’s get to talking about the first semi final, shall we?

I feel like this year most of the better acts have been collected in this semi-final (despite the fact that my favourite entry will take part in Semi Final 2). Therefore, it will be hard to only pick 10 to advance as more than 10 indeed deserve a spot in the final. On the other hand, in the second semi-final, there are so many possible borderline qualifiers that it is once again hard to predict how it will go down.

Following Sweden’s win thanks to the futuristic staging, a considerable number of acts are relying on magic tricks on stage (literally), pyros, 3D holograms of wolves (in not one but two performances, both in semi 1), and 3D holograms of the performers themselves, both nude and dressed.

Upon completing my list, I went to check the betting odds for the first time to be able to make comments on them. What do I realise? My predictions match the betting odds fully, not the full order, yet with the overall list of 10 qualifiers. My first three is identical to their first three as well.

Official Recap (30 seconds of each song in order of appearance)
Official YouTube PLAYLIST

18- Montenegro  – Highway – The Real Thing

Just, no. I love rock, I am a rock/metal lover. This song doesn’t do anything for me, and does not sound like it’ll appeal the average Eurovision viewer. It’s just not a good rock song.

17- San Marino – Serhat – I Didn’t Know

I would SO LOVE this to qualify. The song is awful. The vocals are awful. The lyrics are funny. The guy is a living meme. The original video with the slow version featuring the eyepiece and the headpiece was much funnier. Look it up. It was a very sexual video. I’m sure that this won’t qualify, but it definitely deserves to – as it falls to the ‘so bad that it’s so good’ category.

16- Austria – Zoe – Loin D’ici (Far From Here)

Junior Eurovision, anyone? She’s very cute on stage and everything, yet it’s just so childish. There are some moments where I go ‘wait wait wait is something happening?’ but then it just directly goes back to the repetitive, annoying chorus. Also, pink overload.

15- Greece – Argo – Utopian Land

One of the worst Greek entries I can remember. The melody just annoys me so much.

14- Moldova – Lidia Isac – Falling Stars

I remember kind of liking this song when I heard it, yet I don’t remember much else. Upon giving the rehearsal footage a look, two comments – one: cute. Two: THE FRIGGING ASTRONAUT IS SO F**KING AWKWARD WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

13- Finland – Sandhja – Sing It Away

I really like this song. Sandhja seems like a very nice lady, and the song is very catchy, yet I just don’t think they’ll qualify unless some major slips happen with the performers ranked higher.

12- Estonia – Jüri Pootsmann – Play

He’s incredibly cute, and he brings out a (rather lame) card trick to the stage. Spoiler alert: it’s very lame. The song is catchy, and very Eurovision-esque. The issue is, his voice is a bit too deep for the average listener, and the song just isn’t good enough to compete with some others in the semi.

11- Bosnia & Herzegovina – Dalal & Deen ft. Ana Rucner and Jala – Ljubav je (Love Is)

I love the chorus of this song, but absolutely despise the rapping parts. Kudos for coming this year with your native language, guys, you get bonus points for that. The language is beautiful to the ear, and the melodies are nice. They are also playing the politics card with the presentation. VERY borderline.

10- Azerbaijan – Samra – Miracle

Where do I even start? The song is top 10 material, as this is usually the case with Azerbaijan. The staging is winner material as it doesn’t go overly futuristic while maintaining some degree of originality. She is absolutely stunning – she has the classic middle eastern beauty, and she isn’t shying out from showing it off. Now, the bad part – the girl can’t sing to save her life. This has been proven through her rehearsals and her live promo performances. They are blaming it on sickness, yet, a lot of people have pointed out that she’s been ‘sick’ all her life if that’s the case. Ouch. Only due to the facts that this is Azerbaijan, that they have a 100% qualification record, and that the song is decent despite the singing, I feel like this will be a very borderline qualifier – yet I wouldn’t be shocked if not.

9- Hungary – Freddie – Pioneer

The good part: the guy is incredibly handsome, and he has a very original song. The bad part: that’s all I remember from the song, after listening to every single song in the competition at least 10 times over the course of the last couple of months. This, guys, is NOT a song that will stick with the audience at the end of the show for them to pick up the phone and vote. Upon giving it a listen, I do have to say that it is a very nice song to the ear. I especially like the verses. I can see it qualifying (no guarantee, though), but I just don’t think it’ll do too well.

8- Iceland – Greta Salome – Hear Them Calling

This is the one song that started the trend of high-tech fancy performances for this year through their national selection performance, and it is clear that it was heavily influenced by last year’s winner. Despite the cool-ish presentation, the song isn’t really that great. It’s memorable, yet it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I wouldn’t personally let this song qualify, yet, the presentation, combined with the fact that she does have a decent voice, will allow Iceland to see another day.

7- Czech Republic – Gabriela Guncikova – I Stand

I adore this song with a passion, much more than many of the other songs in the semi. I also adore the singer. I think that she sounds incredible. I think that she has the passion. And from the interviews, I feel like she is genuinely a very nice person. She also claims to be a rock chick, which is very interesting, as this song is far from it. With so many songs with so many gimmicks, this emotional ballad could stand out from the crowd and qualify. We’re getting to the point where I can see it going both ways, yet I really want it to qualify. Note that if it was in semi 2, I would be sure of a qualification.

6- Netherlands – Douwe Bob – Slow Down

Now I have VERY mixed feelings about this song. I personally love the chill vibe from it. The guy has a very raspy, original voice and he looks cool on stage. Some people are complaining that the song is boring, though. Compared to the mess ‘Calm After the Storm’ the Netherlands had sent a couple of years ago, you can even dance to this song! The live performance will surprise the ones who haven’t watched the rehearsal videos, and I am not going to be giving it away.

5- Cyprus – Minus One – Alter Ego

Now, I might be biased – I am very Cypriot. (Be honest – how many of the Americans on this website had ever heard of Cyprus or can pinpoint it to me on a map?) Following last year’s snoozefest mess (which had surprisingly qualified) Cyprus returned to the competition with a rock banger, with a fresh, cool sound as well as a decent staging. The guys are good at what they do. Easily the best Cypriot entry since La La Love (which I still think would have been top 3 if Ivi Adamou could sing live – like at all).

4- Croatia – Nina Kraljic – Lighthouse

I remember when the songs were being announced. Nobody expected anything from good old Croatia. Then Nina came with this song and blew everyone’s minds away. The staging is a bit awkward, it’s a bit random at times, but she’s a pretty decent live singer. Her sound is also interesting and original enough to stand out while not being too avant-garde for the average, casual Eurovision viewer. A guaranteed qualification. I don’t fully understand why it suddenly fell so hard in the betting odds, though. I’m suspecting it’s the dress.

3- Malta – Ira Losco – Walk On Water

Following the reveal of ‘Chameleon’ as their selected song, Malta decided to change the song at the last minute to Walk on Water. The best decision ever. This song is fresh, youthful and she can sing it really well. Ms. Losco returned to the Eurovision stage after finishing second place in 2002, and I think that she will end up performing well again. She oozes charisma, confidence, and bonus points: she’s pregnant (or we think she is).

2- Armenia – Iveta Mukuchyan – LoveWave

I was so against this when it first came out. Almost one third of the song is just the intro. The song itself is a scream fest, but the lady can sing her heart out. The instrumental is gorgeous with ethnic elements here and there, Armenia has the diaspora’s votes, and the performance is on fire. Literally. I’d be stunned if this didn’t end up in the top 10 come Saturday.

1- Russia – Sergey Lazarev – You Are The Only One

This is winning the semi, no doubt. The guy can sing live, it has cheesy lyrics (refer to: ‘thunder and lightning, it’s getting exciting) but it has a cheesy, over the top staging. What more could you ask for Eurovision? It’s not even close to being a personal favourite of mine, but it’s quite obvious that the Russians are coming for blood. A side note: this has been #1 in the betting odds since forever.\