So, I promised that I wouldn’t really try to process all of this madness until I got an extended break, but something happened today that really made me reflect. Well, I may be getting too generic. A lot of small things have happened lately that correlated into some fresh perspective. Let me explain ¦
We had a much-needed, much-deserved day off in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, today. I took it as an opportunity to rest myself not only physically, but mentally. The strain of trying to put everything I have into this tour, on top of the scheduling conflicts that inevitably arise from doing a record while on the road, and not to mention the crazy press commitments, have left me, and all the idols, with an almost humorous non-distinct stare as we enter the home stretch of this tour. So, today I did little but stay in bed and walk around. I went with MJ and Chik to go see “Tropic Thunder”. I give it 4/5 stars. Tom Cruise was the only part I didn’t like about it. Don’t know why ¦
The rest after the JUMP…
After the movie, we went and grabbed dinner, and then split up upon returning to the hotel. I went out to the beach, and plopped down on a chair to watch the waves and the lightning in the distance. (Hurricane/Tropical Storm/Massive Nuisance Fay) All at once, it hit me full on what has happened to me this last year. I thought about Omaha, and my brother, Andrew, and the Green Mile, and the top 12 red carpet event, and the hotel, and the finale, and this tour. It really became apparent to me at that moment that the tour will be done in about a month, and we’ll all, hopefully, go on to amazing careers and lives away from this “Idol Machine” and apart from one another. After a year with these guys, that thought looms ominous and scary.
I bring all this up to make this point: There were times from the beginning of college to the time that I made the show where I truly was unsure of what I was supposed to be doing. I’ve been a professional musician of some degree since I was 15, but could I ever really “make it”? This last year has allotted me a new inner peace, and I’m more thankful for that than anything else. It’s nice to have the title of American Idol, and the privilege of making a major-label record, but more than all of those things, I want to say thank you for the support you guys have shown, but more importantly the understanding you guys have shown to my limitations as I try to meander through this very new lifestyle of actually being acknowledged for doing something I love. I’m giving everything I can to make sure that you guys feel as appreciated as you’ve made me feel over the last year. Here’s to many more.