Susan Boyle was supposed to perform “Hallelujah” on tomorrow’s results show. But she bowed out reportedly due to a throat infection. Her SURPRISE replacement is….MICHAEL BOLTON. No joke. Ne-Yo will also perform.
This week certainly lacked the drama of last week! Nobody was booed, but the judges, and although there was some crummy dancing and a few cutting critiques, no feelings appeared to be hurt in the execution of this week’s show. Although, the drama may return when Michael Bolton steps in for Susan Boyle tomorrow night. Bruno! Don’t do it! Do. Not. Apologize!
The lack of excitement extended all the way to the routines. Tonight’s top scorer, Audrina Patridge, at 26, was wooden and dull. She was definitely overpraised for that routine. Brandy and Maks, at 24, should have been scored higher for their samba. Jennifer and Derek would have scored higher than 24 if they hadn’t lost it in the middle of their samba. I’m sure the couple will bounce back next week.
For my money, the most entertaining dance of the night earned the lowest score. Margaret Cho in all her rainbow glory could only muster 18 point. Yeah, her dancing was all over the place, but she was hella fun.
I also don’t get the love for The Situation and Kyle Massey. Neither can dance very well, both are hammy to the point of annoyance. The Situation borders on Michael Bolton Bad, but he never gets called on it. Do. Not. Get. I am also super-bored with Bristol Palin, who is pretty much just taking up space at this point.
UPDATED NOW WITH VIDEOS
Live recap and VIDEOS after the JUMP…
I’m hamstrung this week. My local affiliate is carrying Monday night football instead of Dancing with the Stars. I’m watching the show on a stream tonight. It’s not optimal. Also, no videos tonight…
So, here we go. I’ll do my best…
Tonight is…story night! Each couple tells a story through their dance…props are encouraged.
First, the pros demonstrate tonight’s featured dances: the Foxtrot, the Waltz and the Samba. Oof the band is even cheesier than usual tonight. – VIDEO
Jennifer & Derek – Samba – Jennifer plays a teacher that Derek had a crush on. Derek and Jennifer will attempt the Samba roll! It’s tough, but she masters it, more or less. Jennifer, whip that ruler! (Ha she looked like Sarah Palin in glasses with her hair up) Len says, “I really enjoy story night, but what I love is when you continue it through the dance, it was very clever…there was just a little twiddly bit in the middle…but you are becoming and irresistible force” Bruno says, “You are the sexy mistress of cougar town. You should be used as recruitment. That was very difficult as choreography, but you’re great.” Carrie Ann says, “Tonight you were slightly out of sync…there was a mess in the middle. Derek grabs Jen, and they do the step correctly, but it’s too late! Carrie Ann – 8 Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 24 – 1-800-868-3411 – VIDEO
Florence and Corky – “Edelweiss” – Waltz – Florence got her start performing in “The Sound of Music”. The story is about two people who find out they have a great attraction. She resists, but eventually gives in. Florence talks about losing her husband 8 years ago. A big kiss to finish the routine! How romantic. Bruno says, “Simple, effective, very sweet, I could feel the emotional connection. At times it felt if you were stopping. Continuous progression, darling.” Carrie Ann says, “I think John is smiling down on you. You actually had a real story, really touching. It was a little on the simple side. Push your boundaries.” Len says, “Poignant, emotional, sweet. The story was beautiful. The technique in your feet is non-existent. Get your technique on your footwork.” – Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 6, – 7 – 20 – 1-800-868-3409 – VIDEO
Kurt and Anna – Foxtrot – “Bad Day” – It’s about someone having…a bad day! Kurt is nervous he won’t be graceful and elegant. His little girls stop by to have an afternoon tea party, to get him in touch with his “delicate” side (nice tiara!) It’s raining. Anna sitting on a park bench in a bad mood. Kurt comes along like Gene Kelly with an umbrella. Kurt has a nice smile. Carrie Ann says, “It was so charming! You have this incredible charm. Your hold was beautiful, your chemistry fantastic. I loved it.” Len says, “This is a lyrical dance, the musicality in your arms lacking, but everything else well done. “Your personality is great, pure Gene Kelly. Your hands are like frying pans. You have to be cleaner.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno -7 – 23 – 1-800-868-3408 – VIDEO
Margaret & Louis – Samba – “Copacabana” – The story is about “coming out as beautiful, coming out as me.” We see Margaret on tour. She’s got little time to rehearse this week. She’s got a huge feather head-dress on. Well, this is right up Margaret’s ally. She gets to be fun and a little cheesy. Her dancing? Hm. not so good. A mess, really. Len says, “I was encouraged at the start, but as the dance progressed, you lost your timing. I couldn’t quite get the story.” Bruno says, “I praise you for waving the rainbow flag Keep waving it. But, you lost your way. The footwork…you went wrong so many times.” Carrie Ann says, “i loved the story, but you lost control out there.” Margaret says it was the gayest thing that’s ever happened! “You have to work on your arms, ” says Carrie Ann. Margaret mentions the recent teen suicides. it’s a tough time for the gay community–the bullying has to stop now, she says. – Carrie Ann – 6, Len – 6, Bruno – 6 – 18 – 1-800-868-3405 – VIDEO
Audrina & Tony – Waltz – Tony plays a marine who died, but comes back from the dead to have one last dance with his love. Audrina says she has to dig really deep. And you know she’s not used to that. Audrina is supposed to be telling this incredibly poignant story, but she’s so stiff. Boring. She’s getting a standing 0, but it could have been so much more. Bruno says, “Compelling and touching storytelling. I could read the story through you. Beautifully played.” Carrie Ann says, “It was beautifully acting, beautifully danced.” Len says, “You walk with your feet, and dance with your heart. That was the most touching dance of the night.” Really? We see a clip of Tony following through on his promise to wax his leg if he didn’t get 3 8s. Ouch! Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 9, Bruno – 9 – 26 – 1-800-868-3401 – VIDEO
Bristol & Mark – Foxtrot – “Just the Way You Are” – Bristol is really scared about the “acting part.” We see “teen activist” Bristol preach abstinence to other teen girls. Uhm. Ok. Mark is a homeless guy. Bristol walks right past him. Suddenly, they are dressed like swells. I’m confused? Bristol is a little lead-footed. Carrie Ann says, “that was a hard one…you’re a newbie, but it hurt you in this dance.” Carrie didn’t get the story from the dance. Neither did I. Len says, “It was all a bit too contemporary for my tastes.” Bruno says, “Your execution of the dance is neat and clean, but you aren’t Meryl Streep yet. You have to feel it. I know there is something in there. show it to me.” Carrie Ann – 6, Len – 6, Bruno – 7 – 19 – 1-800-868-3407 – VIDEO
Brandy & Maks – Samba – Brandy insists that she and Maks do not argue all the time. Brandy decides to listen rather than talk. She tapes her mouth shut. They do the “bodyguard” story. Maks is tough on Brandy. Lots of butt slaps! If there’s a story in this dance? I missed it. Len says, “It had energy, it had punch, nice hip action. I didn’t quite get it, really. I didn’t feel you were protective towards your partner.” Len didn’t like the ass slaps. Bruno says, “I’m starting to see the comeback of the diva. Your placement was so much better this week. Way to go girl.” Carrie Ann asks Maks to come to the table. She hits him, “You’re a naughty boy with your partner! I don’t condone that kind of teaching, but it worked.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 24 – 1-800-868-3406 – VIDEO
Kyle & Lacey – Waltz – OMG Lacey never heard of the Eagles “Wait they’re like the Beatles” NO. Wait, weren’t they supposed to dance to “Take it to the Limit”? The story is two random people meeting in a coffee shop. Kyle plans to be full of technique this week. FAIL. Kyle plays the total goofball. I don’t think the waltz is his thing. I’m not ias enamored with Kyle as the judges are. Bruno says, “You’ve got the likability factor sewn up. Work on the feet.” Carrie Ann says, “You bring the fun to the floor. I could feel your passion through your fingertips.” Len says, “Your performance level is high, but your foot work is atrocious.” I wonder when they’ll start calling him out on his terrible dancing? Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 7, Bruno – 8 – 23 – 1-800-868-3403 – VIDEO
The Situation & Karina – Foxtrot – “Boom Boom Pow” Karina will be a scientist with glasses and white robe. A spaceship time machine is involved. Right off the bat – Len is going to HATE this. Situation was lucky to have Bolton around to take the heat off how awful he is. But now that he’s gone…erm yeah. He’s hilariously terrible. Carrie Ann says, “You are baby stepping you way to becoming a dancing, and the musicality, a little bit better” Len says, “I admire you so much, your really trying…I want to be honest. If you were dancing in my backyard, I’d have to draw the curtains. A bizarre performance.” Bruno says, “Very futuristic, kind of apocalyptic, but very entertaining in a very weird way.” Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 6, Bruno – 7 – 20 – 1-800-868-3410 – VIDEO
Rick & Cheryl – Samba – The story is that Rick lost the game, and his team wants nothing to do with him. Cheryl is the bar babe who cheers him up. Rick thinks Cheryl is dumbing down the routines, but Cheryl says she’s choreographing for his size. She’s doing a good job! Rick’s got no hip action, but his moves are smooth. Len says, “Your standard was much higher than I’ve seen. Well done.” Bruno says, “You get pretty hot, we want to see more of that.” Cheryl says, “I agree with the audience, it was good.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 24 – 1-800-868-3404 – VIDEO
