Tonight, season 5 of the wacky singing competition, The Masked Singer premieres on FOX.
FIVE celebrities will perform in crazy costumes. ONE will be unmasked by audience vote before the special episode ends. After the contestants are presented, with clues, they will perform a song. Then, it’s up to the audience to guess who is behind the mask.
Ken Jeong, Jenny McCarthy, Nicole Scherzinger and Robin Thicke sit on the panel. Niecy Nash will host while Nick Cannon recovers from COVID-19.
Ten celebrities plus Wildcards are competing. We’ll meet the first five tonight, aka Group A, including Seashell, Russian Doll, Snail, Racoon, Porcupine. We’ll also meet the clue mask, Cluedle-doo, who will be unmasked before the end of the season!
Nick Cannon is reading the voice over, although he is NOT hosting tonight’s episode. Meanwhile, Niccy is carried on stage on a throne. QUEEN NIECY. Oh, Neicy is actually revealing that the voters are virtual. Although, what she doesn’t mention, is that a FAKE AUDIENCE will still be part of the show.
First up, Russian Doll.
Clues: Russian Doll has been doing their own thing, for quite some time and are more than just a puppet. They tried to put Russian doll in a box. They were cast to the side. But it was the best thing that happened ever. Garden State Parkway in New Jersey is a clue.
Performance: Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson – OK. So this is a duo, as the previews hinted. You know, because Russian Dolls are nested. The voice in the clues sounded female, but appears this duo is male. Maybe they are brothers? The judges drop their first impression guesses into the toy truck. “Our ideas work very well together.” Jenny thinks they might be a Philly group. Nicole thinks it may be members of a tv show cast. Ken guesses Gwen Stefani and a band memeber. The judges need to quit guessing celebrities who WORK FOR OTHER NETWORK SINGING SHOWS.
Clues: He’s acted, directed, produced, graced the Oscars stage. Meatballs is a clue. Snail is a veteran celebrity, obviously.
Performance: You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates – Hm. Snail isn’t a singer. He’s performing with a nasally weird southern accent. I have no idea what’s going on here. I think snail is going to bite it this week. Robin thinks Snail may be faking his voice. Robin guesses Seth MacFarlane. Seth is a good singer, and wouldn’t risk elimination faking a bad voice. Ken guesses Jay Leno (with a not half bad Leno impression) Nicole guesses Jimmy Kimmel (NO OTHER NETWORK) or Adam Sandler.
Clues: She never felt grounded growing up. She still drifted, even when she became a success. She hasn’t sang in a really long time.
Performance: Listen to Your Heart by Roxette – Seashell sounds a little older? She can sing though. It’s an 80s song, but her whole vibe says 80s/90s. I think she may be from that era. She used to sing “way back in the day.” She stopped to pursue other careers. Ken guesses Kristin Chenoweth. UHM NO NO NO. She still sings, and way better than Seashell. Jenny thinks it’s Hilary Duff. Robin guesses Jessica Simpson or Jessica Love Hewitt.
It’s Cluedle Doo! He’s here to change the game. He’ll be pointing out clues the panel won’t see. “Bet you can’t guess who I am,” he says.
Clues: In his darkest days, he faced death. He was in jail? He promised God that if he had a second chance, he’d only do good.
Performance: Wild Thing by Troggs – OK Racoon is also a bad singer. Even worse than Snail. Racoon is literally bleating completely out of tune. Bad. Nicole thinks it’s a legend like Gary Busey. That makes sense, actually. Or Nick Nolte, Sammy Hagar. Ken guesses Mike Tyson Ew. Robin guesses Danny Devito. Danny is a good guess, but has he done time in jail?
Clues: He says his name is actually ROBOPINE. He was left to fend for himself He was on a mission to get on Hollywood’s radar. Also, he’s a VERY LARGE MAN. As in tall.
Performance: Never Too Much by Luther Vandross – Oh. Smooth voice. One of the best tonight. This sounds very familiar, actually. He’s 60 years old, with kids and grandkids. Niecy thinks she knows who it is. Nicole thinks it’s Jamie Foxx. Ken guesses Lionel Richie (GOOD GOD HE WORKS an ABC SINGING SHOW AND IT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE HIM AT ALL STOP IT). Robin guesses Genuine.
The votes are in! The performer with the least amount of votes is THE SNAIL. First impression guesses from the panel: Robin: Seth MacFarlane. He’s sticking with that. Hm. Ken guessed Jay Leno, and he’s holding. Jenny guessed Adam Carolla but she’s changing to Senator Ted Cruz. OMFG WUT. Nicole guessed Adam Carolla, but she’s changing it to Billy Crystal. And the SNAIL IS….Kermit the Frog. WAIT. Now I’m super confused. Isn’t Kermit a Disney thing? OK then. Anyway. Putting a puppet in costume is really dumb. Kermit isn’t really a “celebrity.” I’m unimpressed.