UPDATE: Dayana Mendoza was fired on Celebrity Apprentice. Arsenio Hall won the challenge for his charity, The Magic Johnson Foundation
Jingle All the Way Home
Last week: The teams had to present “Success by Trump” cologne displays. Penn was fired.
Back in the suite: Lisa congratulates Unanimous on winning. Aubrey can’t imagine a world in which Penn is sent home over Dayana. That’s the cue for Clay and Dayana to walk in. Clay hates losing Penn, but likes that a strong competitor went home. Dayana realizes she has to watch her back — double!
I don’t often pay attention to the credits, but they really do a good job in telling us who these celebrities are. Or were.
Aubrey stops by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). Ironically, the organization focusses on creating anti-bullying environments. Aubrey tries to one-up the kids in terms of being bullied. “I was bullied every day,” she lets us know.
Trump introduces Marcus, an executive from Good Sam, which is an RV organization that I’ve never heard of. The teams are to create and perform a 90-second jingle to advertise its roadside assistance program. They will be judged on the jingle, the brand messaging, and the performance. Trump wonders who has the advantage, and looks at Clay. Arsenio loyally points to Aubrey as a songwriter and Trump is reminded that Aubrey did something other than a Playboy cover.
Arsenio takes the Project Manager role and predicts that Aubrey will try to take over the task. Dayana tries to avoid being marginalized by taking the PM role for her team. And thus the themes for this week are set.
The stakes are $20,000 from Trump, plus $25,000 from Good Sam, plus all the proceeds from sales of the Good Sam action figure, which is potentially… a lot of money.
In the van, Dayana asks if jingles are like Christmas carols. Lisa laughs inside. Clay is frustrated because he’s not PM this week. (Note: Clay and Dayana should have switched tasks. She would have rocked the cologne display.)
Aubrey wants to have a cheerleading theme. Arsenio doesn’t like it. Aubrey’s next idea is to have them tap dancing. Arsenio finds that racist. Awkward silence.
Marcus shows Unanimous the “Good Sam” action figure, , which looks a little like a preppy Woody from Toy Story. Once Arsenio sees the mascot, he’s on board with Aubrey’s cheerleader idea.
Lisa and Clay are deciding on a fifties/sixties theme, which irks Dayana, because once again, she’s being marginalized. Marcus tells them that the product is roadside assistance. Having fun is important in the performance and they shouldn’t try to be safe.
Unanimous meets with their musicians and engineer. Aubrey wants a Holla Back Girl/Gwen Stefani/Black-Eyed Peas sound. She comes up with a story about a boy and girl who break down on the road. Arsenio smiles and “kisses her ass to keep her happy.”
The musicians run through some different musical styles for Forte, including “mid-sixties Frankie Valli.” Dayana likes it, but asks the musicians for more color: “pink, yellow.” Clay turns into a bitchy queen right before our eyes. “Add a little green!” he snarks from the corner.
On Unanimous, Arsenio puts Teresa on brand-messaging. He asks Aubrey to help her, but Aubrey is only biding her time until the singers show up. As soon as they do, she’s into the recording booth with them. Arsenio rolls his eyes, but lets her sing in order to keep the peace.
Clay records Lisa’s song. Dayana makes a suggestion and Clay has a silent hissy-fit. Lisa reads the script and Dayana asks her to be less scary. Clay calls Dayana “the blind leading the seeing.” I’m beginning to wonder if Clay has ever worked for a boss, because bosses do tend to make suggestions.
Don shows up to check on Unanimous, who sing the jingle for him. Then Aubrey takes Don into another room so that she can stab Arsenio in the back without interruption. “I’m the only one who’s creative,” she whines. “That’s not an opinion. That’s fact!”
When Don shows up at Forte, Dayana praises Clay, and Lisa interrupts to take credit for writing. Dayana calls Lisa “loud,” triggering a meltdown. Dayana watches calmly — I think she’s deliberately trying to set Lisa off. Don looks very confused.
Dayana is working on brand messaging when Lisa returns from her meltdown. Clay stares at Dayana with hate. He is concerned that their rehearsal time is being taken up on… signage. Lisa goes into another tirade.
Arsenio sends Teresa and Aubrey to the rehearsal at the Jerry Orbach Theater. Awwww. I miss him. The show tries to make drama from Aubrey making decisions instead of Arsenio, but it’s a lost cause at this point.
Forte arrives for their rehearsal. Lisa explains that she will be the radio host, Clay will be singing, and Dayana will be doing nothing. Dayana gives Clay a staging note, and Clay throws a non-silent hissy fit. “Tell me what you want me to do!” he snaps. Dayana gives up. She says she’ll sit down and clap when he’s done.
Later, Clay overhears Aubrey singing her jingle. He thinks his is more “unique.” (He is wrong about that.)
Show time! Radio host Lisa introduces “Stan and the Samettes.” Hmm, the radio setting isn’t a great idea. It’s a bit removed from what the product is. Dayana comes onstage to thank the singers. Lisa THs that Dayana has basically ruined their brilliant performance by her appearance. While the dancers hand out brochures, Marcus tells Don that he likes Clay and Lisa. But the show was a bit conservative and he didn’t like Dayana wearing white, instead of the Good Sam colors.
The Unanimous cheerleaders do handouts before their performance. Arsenio and Teresa play a couple that’s broken down on the road. Teresa pushes a button on their phone and “Good Sam” shows up with the cheerleaders. Aubrey sings. Arsenio raps. The audience claps.
Marcus likes the energy, the brand messaging, and the jingle. He liked the use of the mascot. He didn’t like Aubrey’s “revealing” cheerleader outfit. He tells Don that he’s got a tough decision to make. Doesn’t seem tough to me.
Ms. Brown tells us that jingles are very effective. But she doesn’t need one. Ms. Brown does need to come up with some better material.
Everyone looks sullen in the Boardroom, except Arsenio. He is confident his team won. Trump points out that Clay is on the other team and Arsenio says he’d put Aubrey up against Clay — today. Clay fakes surprise. Arsenio admits having a conflict with Aubrey. “But you’d rather have her than a stiff — like Teresa,” Trump declares. Teresa laughs. Oh yeah, they won.
Trump asks Dayana if she’ll be fired today. Lisa doesn’t think they’ll lose, but she starts throwing Dayana under the bus anyway. Dayana says that Clay and Lisa were hard to work with. Lisa argues with her. Clay holds his tongue.
Don asks why Dayana cut Lisa off in front of him. Dayana reiterates that Lisa has a temper and a bad attitude. Lisa declares that she’s successful in a “man’s business,” and insults Dayana some more. Dayana points out to Trump that this is what Lisa does all the time. Lisa replies that Dayana is a vicious animal.
The Trumps are very entertained. Clay sits in dignified pissiness.
Trump asks Dayana who she would fire. She isn’t sure. Clay had a bad attitude, too. Ivanka asks if being marginalized is a failure of leadership. Aubrey jumps in to kick Dayana some more, since Aubrey can “work for anyone on the planet and simultaneously lead them.” That must make sense in Aubreyland.
Dayana and Lisa continue fighting. Clay is physically holding his own tongue now. Trump asks him, “Who is right and who’s wrong?” Clay agrees with Lisa.
Don and Ivanka repeat exactly what Marcus said earlier about the performances. To no one’s surprise, Forte lost.
Arsenio wins at least $45,000. He cries with joy “on the inside.” Up in the suite, he talks up the Magic Johnson Foundation.
Back in the Boardroom, Trump quickly rehashes the last 40 minutes. He praises Dayana, but the writing’s on the wall. To no one’s surprise, he fires Dayana. She kisses Clay and hugs Lisa, then heads down to the lobby in her pretty pink dress.
Trump says she knew it was her turn. Ivanka calls her a “quality person.”
In the car, Dayana claims she wouldn’t do anything differently. She tells the contestents to “Stop the drama and finally realize you are here for your charity… There is no reason to be so evil, so dishonest, or so fake.”
Next: There is a photoshoot. Aubrey hires herself as a model. Arsenio blows up. Marlee and John Rich show up for the final interviews.