Sissy that Soldier!
Spirits are lively after Alyssa’s elimination. Coco tells Roxxxy that a “weight has lifted” from her and she’s ready to take the crown. “Are you making another fat joke?” Jinkx snarks.
Speaking of Jinkx, the other queens (well Alaska and Roxxxy) are wary of her now. Alaska’s realizing that she and Jinkx are direct competitors, since both are funny. Roxxxy is praying to the drag gods to send them a sewing challenge. “I just hope there’s enough fabric for me to braid another dress,” Jinkx says, egging both Roxxxy and Coco into dissing her sewing skills.
I’m a little skeptical though. Jinkx has shown herself to be a very savvy player and I suspect she’s been holding back. She’s studied the show and has to know (as Roxxxy does) that there are always two or three sewing challenges — and that the hardest ones take place late in the season. Just like you don’t go on this show without working out an excellent celebrity impersonation, you don’t audition without taking some sewing classes and knowing how to beat someone else’s face. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jinkx had been taking design classes and practicing make-overs on her friends for months now. (Just a note: Jinkx actually has a cosmetics line out.)
This week is the traditional make-over challenge, where the queens have to put someone else in drag. This year is gay male vets — all of whom served before Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was abolished. It sounds like we’ll be getting some great stories tonight.
Before we’re introduced to the vets, the mini-challenge is held. It’s a “booty camp” led by a hunky drill sergeant. The queens (in very padded bras and pumps) are led through physical exercises until they drop. I would have put money on Coco for the win (she’s old woman tough), but the dropping order is Detox, Coco, Roxxxy, and Jinkx. Alaska wins and thus gets the privilege of assigning each vet to each queen.
Alaska sensibly chooses the tallest, skinniest, prettiest guy for herself. She assigns all the other soldiers in order of arrival, giving another pretty man (Aaron) to Detox, the oldest and largest to Jinkx, and two rather nondescript marines to Coco and Roxxxy. Roxxxy is pissed that she got a “furry” fellow and feels betrayed by the “laska” part of Rolaskatox. Coco worries, since she’s never done make-up for anybody but herself.
Things look bad for Jinkx until her soldier, Dave, mentions that his favorite diva is Judy Garland (“Judy and Liza” Jinks cries, the lightbulb popping on over her head). Not only is he a Judy fan, but he actually knew her back in the day. Jinkx is now in drag queen heaven.
The vets are put through their paces in heels. Dave is top heavy and has a medical condition. Detox is distracted by Aaron’s cuteness. Coco’s vet, Steve, can’t walk in women’s shoes. Roxxxy is determined to make her fellow, Izzy, beautiful.
As Alaska works on padding for her guy, Mac, we learn his story. He joined the army at 18, when his foster mother gave him a week to find a new home. He’s happy to have found order and stability through the army.
In his mentor rounds, RuPaul learns that Dave not only knew Judy Garland, but recommended some new type of sleeping pill to her shortly before her death. Fun or horrifying? You decide.
RuPaul meets with Alaska and advises Mac to sissy his walk. He asks Aaron about DADT. Aaron went from San Francisco’s Castro District to the closet when he joined the marines. Now that he’s allowed to be open about himself, he’s much happier.
Coco’s Steve tells that the marines helped him toughen up, but that drag is also tough. “Drag queens have balls,” he says. RuPaul warns him the Coco was in the bottom last week and Coco makes a bitch face.
Finally, RuPaul visits Roxxxy and asks if Izzy will show body, since that’s what Roxxxy has been serving. Then he announces the guest judges, Clinton Kelly from What Not to Wear and George Kotsiopoulis from Fashion Police and their “surprise” twist: Each team will have to create and present a color guard routine (which consists of marching and waving flags).
We watch the color guard rehearsals. Detox and Aaron are making theirs up as they go. Coco finds Steve having difficulty because its so painful to walk in heels.
In the work room, Dave can’t find any heels that he can walk in. He confesses to Jinkx that he has AIDS and the medicine he takes has ruined his muscle tone. He can barely walk as it is, let alone in heels. “We will find a way,” Jinkx assures him. “We are a team.” Only when Dave turns away does Jinkx allow her worry to show.
She choreographs a color guard routine that allows Dave to work within his physical limitations. Instead of holding up his flag, he uses it as a cane.
On runway day, Roxxxy has to shave Izzy’s entire body. Roxxxy has managed to get over her initial negativity, realizing that Izzy is a sweetheart who will do whatever’s necessary to win. Meanwhile, Coco is throwing shade at everyone else.
We get another story from Dave. He and his housemates went to a gay bar in uniform one night. It got back to their officers and all four were discharged. One was courtmartialed and spent a year in Leavonworth — because homosexuality was illegal.
Detox tells Aaron about getting into a car accident one night after a gig. She nearly died and smashed up her face something terrible. We learn that she can no longer grow the eyebrow on the left side of her face — but fortunately, she can always draw it on.
Coco teaches her fellow how to tuck. “This is a process. A very loooooong process,” Coco says. Yes, that’s a double entendre.
RuPaul appears on the runway in yet another stunning gown. It’s a shimmering black gown with a neckline of diamonds. George Kotsiopoulis is billed as “George Hotsiopoulis.”
There’s a quick montage of color guard routines. Detox and “Beth Adone” seem to do the worst as Detox drops her flag off the side of the runway and gets whacked in the face at another point. Jinkx and “Fortuna” are even hammier than Liza and Judy ever were — which is frightening.
On the runway, Roxxy and “Isabella” show the requisite amount of body-ody-ody. Alaska and “Nebraska” are dressed like cat burglars with huge blonde wigs, which makes them look a little Thing One and Thing Two from The Cat in the Hat. Detox and Beth are also looking Seussian in red-and-white striped dresses with red-and-white wigs. “Horchata” and Coco… have nice looking cat eyes.
Jinkx and Roxxxy are praised for their work. Alaska is read for the badly-done padding on Nebraska. Detox gets criticized for putting a front bow on Beth and not having fun with the challenge. Coco gets very upset at her judging comments. “I keep letting you down and letting you down,” she cries to RuPaul. RuPaul basically tells her to lighten up.
RuPaul always knows the perfect thing to say. She says she’s proud to show the vets exactly what they are fighting for — the right for anyone to dress in drag.
Roxxxy wins the main challenge. She and Izzy both receive shopping sprees. RuPaul gives Izzy the option of shopping in the men or women’s section of the store. Izzy declares he’s going to shop in the women’s section.
Coco and Detox are up for elimination. They lip-synch to “(It Takes_ Two to Make it Right,” by Seduction. (That’s the girl group Michelle Visage was in.) The melisma-filled song favors Detox’s style (lots of lip waggling) over Coco’s precise mouth movements. Plus Detox throws in a lot of old-style dance moves that show more pop knowledge than Coco’s free-style flailing. Detox easily wins the lip-synch.
RuPaul asks Coco to listen carefully to her parting words. “You never let me down.”
As she packs her things, Coco looks happy and relaxed. “I feel like I’ve gotten a lot of closure with Alyssa,” she says. Since that was her storyline, it’s good to hear that. Although to be completely honest, I don’t actually believe her But I am glad to see this B-plot end. Finally.
Untucked
These make-over Untuckeds are usually the best of the season. Perhaps because having guests keeps down the drama and shade-throwing. Everyone is on their best behavior and you usually get some nice male bonding moments.
Jinkx starts out by commending Roxxxy and predicting her win. Nebraska asks for predictions about the top and bottom teams. Detox declares herself happy with her “clown” sister. Coco, on the other hand, is angry about Horchata being called busted by the judges. Horchata just shrugs it off. I’m sure a marine gets called worse than that on a good day.
“Critiques don’t bother me,” Coco says, getting a record-scratch sound effect and a look from Alaska. Coco then interviews that Fortuna Monsoon looks awful. I guess. But at least she’s blended.
The queens are summoned to the Gold Lounge to inspect their big pink furry box. The sisters remain behind. The video message is split into two halves. The first has a message of support from Detox’s brother and father. The second half is an apology from Detox’s mother for leaving her behind when she moved.
Detox explains that her mother left the family and moved to Florida. She wasn’t able to take the kids and Detox was miserable. But, when she called her mom and said she couldn’t take it any more, her mother immediately drove eight hours to get her. So, it’s good between them. Detox also explains that she’s been worried that her father is facing cancer. She also tells about her car accident and its aftermath. She couldn’t get into a car without panicking, and her hair fell out from stress. She did, however, get a lot of support from her drag community.
In the Silver Lounge, the veteran sisters talk about their initial fears on entering the werk room. Steve was especially scared of Jinkx and her red hair. They talk about the difficulties of tucking. This is what separates the Marines from Jocks (Season Three’s make-over). Most Jocks outright refused to tuck, but Marines are used to following orders, even from drag queens.
Back in the Gold Lounge, the queens decide that Aaron was the “Liberace” of the group. “You better check your drag when he leaves,” Coco warns Detox. “You’re going to find things missing.”
They all agree that they loved the false breasts from the mini-challenge. We get many flashbacks to the queens bouncing up and down in their falsie bras. Yay for product placement!
We jump back to the Silver lounge, where the sisters speculate about who will win the competition. Nebraska thinks it’s Alaska because she’s pretty. Beth claims that Detox will win because she’s “edgy.” Fortuna says that Jinkx will get it, prompting skeptical looks from everyone else. “You mark my words, the oldest and the wisest, will win out on this.” Horchata then proves she’s Coco’s sister by calling them all “bitches.”
The queens and sisters all come back together for a final cocktail. Jinkx asks the sisters if their perceptions have changed on drag. Nebraska is impressed by how passionate the queens are, because drag is not easy. Beth thanks Detox because she had a really good time. Izzy vows to attend drag shows in the future. Dave starts crying. She had felt shoved aside (perhaps by age or illness?), but this has brought her back into the gay community.
The sisters watch the final judgments from a video screen in the lounge. They correctly call Detox and Coco as the bottom two. Beth and Horchata hold hands as the lip-synch takes place. Horchata congratulates Beth when Detox wins, but still feels horrible. “Stay strong, Coco,” she says to the video screen.
There are four bonus clips this week, so for brevity, I’m just going to give the link to the first video. You can access the others there.
