Countdown to the Crown
Every RuPaul’s Drag Race season has a clip show just before the finale. This year, RuPaul is using sports metaphors to make the footage interesting.
We start with a “Ru-play” of the 11 queens who sashayed so far, illustrated on an animated football field like they do (I assume) during football commentary. We’re reminded that Penny Tration was voted into the season by fans, that Serena Cha-Cha was an incredibly annoying art student, that Monica Beverly-Hillz had a secret, that Vivienne Pinay and Honey Mahogany made history by their double elimination, that Lineysha Sparks was pretty, that Jade Jolie threw shade, that Ivy Winters was a triple threat, Alyssa Edwards gave great .gif, Coco Montrese could lip-synch the house down, and that Detox has had work done.
Next we get a weather report. With lots of shade. The Coco/Alyssa drama is retold in detail, with many interjections of “shade!” from Alyssa’s cross-dressing uncle character. We also see extra footage from RuPaul’s Roast. Then there’s a segment with Season Four’s Latrice Royale. She appears as a weather reporter in the middle of a hurricane. She comments on the various other dramas during the season, such as the feud between Jade and Alyssa, Monica’s confession of being transgender, and the tear-inducing videos from home. The funniest part of it is watching things fly around in the background as she speaks.
There’s a feature about Alaska that mentions her “dark horse” status. Also, that she’s the “ladyboyfriend” of Sharon Needles, that her catchphrase is “Hiyee!” That she joined, then left RoLaskaTox. And that, although she started badly, she finished the competition very strongly.
After a commercial break, we start into an extended fan segment. RuPaul mentions that many celebrities, including Scarlett Johanssen, Adam Lambert, and Nicki Minaj have tweeted about the show. Sally Jesse Raphael is shown on video declaring her love for Jinkx.
There’s a special report from Willam in some alley. She reads tweets questions from fans and answers them in the typically sarcastic Willam way. RuPaul gives shootout to a few of the many, many fans who film their video reviews each week. Sadly, I recognize a lot of them. Even more sadly, none of them are TinTim, who does a weekly commentary on the show (usually in full drag).
RuPaul segues from love-crazed fans to well-old crazy judges. We get a couple minutes of judge outtakes. The longest part shows an argument between Michelle and Santino over the proper way to pronounce “brocade.”
Then we get some new footage from the queens, blowing off steam in the Werk Room. By running around naked, or making really dirty jokes. Or throwing around their favorite catchphrases. Michelle’s advice to “stop relying on that body!” (first given to Season Three’s Carmen Carrera) is very popular.
The next final three-er to get a feature is Jinkx Monsoon. It’s mentioned that she started doing drag at thirteen, brought theatrical skills, dominated the competition after playing Little Edie in “Snatch Game,” but crashed in the “Sugar Ball.” Also, her catchphrases, “Water off a duck’s back,” and “Monsoon season,” are mentioned.
There’s a much shorter than usual fashion feature. We’re shown a few fashion do’s and dont’s, starting with Serena Cha-Cha and ending with Honey’s many caftans. As usual, the feature ends with a tribute to RuPaul’s own gowns with the caption, “Ru Wore it Best!”
Sharon Needles appears for an interview. The first question is who she wants to win the title. Her reply? Lil Poundcake! The rest of the interview is about her experience being America’s Next Drag Superstar, which are very impressive. She’s traveled the world, represented PETA, played the role of Frankfurter in Rocky Horror Picture Show, and put out an album. Which, naturally, is plugged on the show, along with about a dozen other singles/albums by various past contestants.
The final Top Three feature is about Roxxxy Andrews. She’s a pageant girl from Orlando, Florida. She lost seventy pounds before appearing on the show. She was part of RoLaskaTox. She brought people to laughter and tears, won the make-over challenge and did spectacular hairography in the final video. If she wins, she’ll be the first “big girl” to get the crown.
The final Untucked footage is shown. It’s only about five minutes long, and consists of Roxxxy and Jinkx explaining why they didn’t go negative in their final runway statements. JInkx felt it would have been forced, while Roxxxy wanted to speak from her heart.
Alaska mentions that Roxxxy said on the runway, “I have grace, beauty, and professionalism — which the others don’t have.” Alaska defends her own aesthetic as beautiful. Roxxxy comments that the competition was very stressful to her, since it was so much more than the pageants she’s used to doing. Jinkx notes some common feelings she’s had to Roxxxy, coming from a place where she’s used to be one of the prettiest queens to a competition where she’s basically the ugly duckling.
Roxxxy apologizes to both, but especially to Jinkx, for her behavior.
And that’s it. Even for a final three Untucked (which are always love feasts), it was pretty dull. When we cut back to RuPaul, she’s amusing herself playing Dragopolis, the new RuPaul’s Drag Race game — available next week.
The very last bit is the music video for “The Beginning,” which was filmed in the last episode. Here it is as a separate piece, if you’d like to skip the rest of the clip show:
I found it pretty fun. As usual, it looks a lot better than you’d think from watching it be filmed. It’s a little “To Wong Foo,” a little “Thelma and Louise,” and a little “A Few Good Men” rolled up in a wig and stilettos. Enjoy!
Next week will be the re-union and crowning of the winner. See you then! In the meantime, who are you hoping will win Miss Congeniality?
