PROJECT RUNWAY 12 – EPISODE 10
Let us take a moment and congratulate Our Perpetual Overlord Tim Gunn on his iconic, historic, certified-to-send-Jeff-Probst-into-yet-another-downward-spiral-of-egomania Emmy Award win in the Best Reality Host category! Long live the king! Huzzah! Huzzah!
(Heidi won too.)
Watch the reigning Emmy champ as he sits in front of an oversaturated white background and explains to us that this is his favorite week of Project Runway because it’s the week where he gets to snatch eight unassuming soccer moms straight out of various Fruit Loop-riddled carpets sprinkled throughout middle America and take them to New York City to received the makeover he’s always wished to give his own mother. (I’m guessing at this.) There’s Bonnie*, and Sue*, and Leslie*, and Jane Sarah*, and they”re all very excited. Veeeery excited.
(*Not actual names.)
(*Actually, there was a Jane Sarah.)
Each designer gets paired with one of eight Project Runway superfans, and they run the gamut – from sassy urban ladies to modest Mormon moms, down to a rather pretty young lady who wants to be turned into ferocious cartoon of The Real Housewives of New York City. Immediately, Ken eyes return to their proper place – rolled firmly into the back of his head – as he begins reciting verbatim the same list of complaints he’s cycled through several times before: this is too hard, he can’t do this, he’s not happy with the fabric, tomato, tomahto, it’s not Ken’s fault that his work isn’t just magically amazing, etc., etc. In this particular case, his model – a woman who, by regular person standards, seemed pleasant and upbeat – chose a green fabric she loved and that he hated and you know just how tragic it can get when Ken hates something. (It gets tragic often.)
It got really tragic when Alexander and Bradon – thanks to the dwindling contestant roster – were reassigned to Ken and Justin’s room to live as a happy foursome of gays Golden-Girling it up in a penthouse suite, except PSYCHE because Ken is stuck in a natural state of being pissed at everything and inexplicably decided the best time and place to iron a pair of denim shorts (which probably didn’t need ironing to begin with) is right in front of the door, just as the newcomers are trying to load in their luggage. A simple request from Alexander turns into a heated argument where people literally throw hot irons onto the ground and Ken explodes in a blaze of glory, and begins quoting Carrie Underwood (“THIS IS MY TEMPORARY HOME”). His face mask – caked on and white – coupled with the grandiosity of his temper tantrum – gave the whole affair a very Phantom Of the Opera-esque feel. I dug it. There’s a play in there somewhere.
This prompts Reigning Emmy Champion And Supreme Owner Of Our Hearts Tim Gunn to call a house pow-wow, in which everyone nicely tells Ken that he’s absurdly angry and should calm the hell down – which is a perfect time for TIMSULTATIONS to begin, because really, the man could handle a few more insults. Tim wisely plays it safe, offering only mild critiques (such as “…….a suit?!” to Alexander’s business in the front, boring in the back look).
THE RUNWAY! There’s something very life-affirming about watching non-models strut their stuff down the runway of their dreams with all the excitement of four years olds riding ponies at Christmas, and it’s inevitable that the fashion element falls to the wayside. Every single critique from the judges was some variation of “this is good/terrible….BUT I like your hair.” The biggest transformation (and a worthy win) comes at the hands of Helen, who turned her mousy wallflower of a client into a red carpet-ready glamour queen without ever entering bridesmaid territory. The worst, arguably, is Alexandria, whose business suit managed to seem less impressive than Alexander’s, and he never even finished his.
The bottom three – despite happy clients – were Ken, Alexander, and Alexandria, which served merely as an excuse to save everyone the trouble and finally take Ken somewhere where his yelling would be inaudible. So he’s off – although, given his penchant for drama, his exit really was quite pleasant
NEXT WEEK: Textile design challenge, also known as Microsoft Paint Runway. See you then!