Listen to FULL SONGS from Glee Season 6 Episode 4 – The Hurt Locker Part 1

ETA: I’m reading commentary online praising Sue and the meta written for her, poking fun at the show and it’s failings, AS IF THIS IS SOMETHING NEW. It’s not! The Glee writers have continuously employed meta in the past few seasons to make self-reflexive comments about the show, as if admitting aspects of Glee are terrible, will somehow make it OK. Last night’s meta rants may have been longer than usual, but certainly not novel, hence, by boredom with the character.

Just to get this out of the way:  Jane Lynch is a treasure. One of the great comedic actresses working in the industry today. But the character she plays on Glee, Sue Sylvester, is played out.  The writers painted her character into a corner ages ago. Used endlessly as a foil, she lurches between hero and villain, depending on what the current storyline needs her to be. Sue the character has nowhere to go and has become flat-out tedious.

So, tonight’s Sue-centric  episode, filled with long, trite, repetitive–been there done that-is-Ian-Brennan-just-cutting-and-pasting-shit-from-old-scripts now–speeches was LITERALLY at times, like torture to get through.  As I tweeted during  the broadcast–if I hadn’t been recapping the episode, I would have turned it off about 20 minutes in.

Glee got off to a pretty good start this season, as it set up new challenges for the characters that we love. The show is at its best when it focuses on the aspirations of its young protagonists. Roadblocks and frustrations are part of the journey to adulthood for any young person pursuing a dream. The trouble with Glee, is all too often they rely on the same tired old tropes to move those challenges along.

I mean, when Sue became enraged after Will left a plastic fork on the cafeteria room table, I just groaned.  I have to admit, though, when Sue revealed her “hurt locker”, featuring an elaborate bulletin board illustrating every single imagined slight from every single Glee character ever, I did chuckle at the meta (the photo of Matt Rutherford with a “missing” post it note was pretty funny). I suppose you could look at the plastic fork  (tagged “rage fork” before taking its place on her board) incident as Glee mocking Sue’s ridiculous grudges, or as a sign that we’re not supposed to take ANYTHING that’s about to happen seriously.  But, we’ve been down this road so many times before with Glee, I’m just bored now.

What I would have rather seen in this episode: More newbies!  Why introduce new characters and not use them?  Especially when what we’ve seen so far reveals a new group brimming with talent. Not one song from any of them! In fact, at only 4 songs, the episode was light on music, period.

I’m not going through this episode scene by scene, because, to be honest, I don’t want to watch it again. I’ll bullet key plot points below:

Sue sang “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks as her face scarily popped up in students’ lockers, she licked Rachel Berry’s lunch, and sprayed students with a fire extinguisher.  I actually did laugh out loud at the message scrolling on the electronic bulletin board “ISIS Awareness Week.”  Sue’s best moments were in the tiny details, rather than her 10 paragraph takedowns of whomever, that I, quite frankly, tuned out. WE’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

Bitch – Sue Sylvester

http://youtu.be/ufqfYvwxErI

Rachel and Sam’s homage to one of my guilty pleasure songs, “A Thousand Miles,” by Vanessa Carlton, was sweet and fun, and ended in a kiss.  The piano playing was the result of Sam’s suggestion that they take up a new hobby.  Rachel decides she wants to learn how to play the piano. Blaine will teach them, because, says Sam, “He owes me for all those times I shaved his back when we were in New York.”

A Thousand Miles – Rachel and Sam

http://youtu.be/WP6o276d9tc

Forget that the piano and a date at Breadstix is the result of a plot that has Sue HYPNOTISING SAM in order to gaslight Rachel. It’s like Glee turned into Gilligan’s Island. It’s REALLY that dumb. The day after the kiss, Rachel asks Sam out on a date, because she had honestly felt something in the moment. But, shaken out of his trance, Sam doesn’t even remember it. He turns her down, confessing he still has feelings for Mercedes.  Later, under “hypnosis,” Sam attempts to steal Will’s mail in broad daylight. When Will nabs him, Sam says Rachel put him up to it. Will believes him, and decides not to throw the invitational like Rachel asked.

Sue Hypnotizes Sam

http://youtu.be/pyW8YAP9Rm4

Will only agreed to throw the invitational after Rachel appealed to his sentimental feelings for New Directions. One glance at the Glee shrine, and Finn’s photo, and he was willing to do it. The invitational isn’t official, so what harm could it do?

Sue knows everything that happens everywhere, because she has drones flying through the halls of McKinley THAT NOBODY NOTICES AT ALL. When she overhears Will promising to throw the competition, she heads to Carmel high to tell the principal, who is Principal Figgins in drag. I was COMPLETELY confused by this scene. Apparently Principal Figgins has a sister who is a school administrator. Or something. Ian Brennan must have been super drunk when he wrote this scene.

The kids of Vocal Adrenaline can’t stop rolling their eyes at the earnest Will Schuester. “We don’t like you.” one says, flat out, when Will tries to engage them in a show circle. VA is basically us, completely weirded out by the dude who seems to have no friends outside of the show choirs he directs.

The episode ends with two jaw dropping performances by Max George, fronting Vocal Adrenaline, on two of my favorite 80s tracks, “Rock Lobster” and “Whip It.” The slack-jawed looks on the faces of both New Directions and The Warblers parallel that time,  in the pilot, when Will took the fledgling club to check out that FIRST invitational at Carmel High school. Seems like a million years ago, doesn’t it?

Rock Lobster – Vocal Adrenaline

http://youtu.be/YwVy6c6yYeI

Whip It – Vocal Adrenaline

http://youtu.be/nBW4CIWFYtY

Of course, there is major Klaine plot development in this episode. After all, they are still apart, and we’ve only got a limited amount of episodes left to get them back together before the big wedding.  I’m not spoiling anything by the way. This last season is 100 percent about fan service. Every ship will be served. You can count on that.

Anyway, Sue has a SUPER SECRET room off of her Hurt Locker that’s a literal shrine to Klaine. Nevermind that she’s never showed an inkling of interest in them before. This is basically Glee’s lame plot device to get them back together. It’s also Ian Brennan’s nod to Klaine shippers. To be honest, I’m not sure it’s meant to flatter. A giant photo of the “Klaine Kiss” from Original Song is the centerpiece, with creepy clown photos and other weird ephemera  all around it. It’s a caricature of over-the-top obsession. Later, Sue calls Kurt into her office to inform him that she’ll do everything and everything to help him get Blaine back.  Thing is, we’re at the point in the story arc where Kurt is beginning to move on! He doesn’t want Blaine back.  Of course, Sue doesn’t care. She, like the shippers, want Klaine back together at any and all costs.

Sue’s schemes include:  Delivering an actual bear cub to the Karofsky/Anderson household. When Blaine, Rachel and Kurt arrive at the apartment after an urgent text from Karofsky, they discover a cute little bear cub resting comfortably on the boys’ bed. Sue Sylvester. Totally NOT getting the concept.

Next, finally figuring out exactly what a gay “bear” is, Sue fills Breadstix with every single hairy dude Karofsky ever dated, as he dines out with Blaine on a dinner date. She eventually arrives with papers that prove the two are third cousins, descended from the same great great grandfather.

The Bear cub prank was adorable.  Sue attempting to foil the romance by framing Karofsky as some kind of slut, plus an icky incest plot? Not so much. Is Blaine supposed to reject Karofsky now, because he’s dated a lot of guys? Ugh. I hate the way the writers have returned Karofsky to the story. After his emotional suicide storyline, I was OK with his arc ending when he survived and could finally imagine a future filled with happiness. If they DID bring him back, I was hoping it would be to continue HIS story. Using Karofsky as an unrealistic roadblock for Klaine is such a disservice to the character.  Max Adler is playing Karofsky really broadly, because that’s how he’s written. With all the character has been through over the years, he deserves more than leaving Glee as a one note joke. I really really hope that his final scenes in the series bring depth back to the character, and a closure that’s satisfying.

Kurt’s efforts to move past his relationship with Blaine include a date with a man named Walter (Harry Hamlin!) that he met online. Unbeknownst to Kurt, until they meet, the man is in his 50s and newly out of the closet. This is a realistic scenario. Dude fishes for dates with a 30 year old photo, never mentioning his actual age or marital status in telephone conversations. The two finally meet up and WOW. OK. Kurt is justifiably freaked out. The normal reaction would be to run for the hills–especially since Walter totally comes off as a creepster.  When a blind date who has lied about his age says to you “I still feel like I’m 30, which is why I still use that photo in my profile”–First you feel pity,  before you high tail it the hell out of there. Also. His Instagram handle is “HotCupofWalter.” RUN KURT RUN. But instead, Kurt agrees to see him again as “friends” with no expectations attached. Yeah right!

The silver lining is Glee’s penchant for beginning storylines like this, only to drop them without explanation. It’s pretty clear that Kurt and Blaine still have feelings for each other, so I can’t see the Walter/Kurt relationship leading to much. In fact, the news that the man he’s living with has dated “everyone with facial hair in the greater Midwest” AND is actually his third cousin, appears to be a real deal breaker for Blaine. And when the two former lovers come face to face, the longing is palpable. They both agree that they are better off as friends, but the looks on their faces contradict their words.  When Kurt shares that he’s going out on a date with someone he’s met online, Blaine literally looks like someone has punched him in the gut. And after another awkward hug, as Blaine leaves the room, Kurt seems ready to cry. Klaine reunion in 5-4-3-2-1.

The saving grace of Glee is how well casted it is. The actors are so strong, they are often able to rise above poorly written material. Nearly every moment I loved in tonight’s episode came from the kids.  I loved Kurt’s reactions to the crazy playing out around him. From incredulous, to sassy to heartbroken–I could watch Chris Colfer’s gifable face all day.  One of my favorite Blaine scenes had him laying out, in no uncertain terms, to Kurt and Rachel, exactly how he was going to cut them down to size. Darren Criss played the scene with a perfect precision, and just the right amount of passive aggressive snark.

Invitational Ground Rules

http://youtu.be/7aTr27JBXQI

I wish Sam wasn’t written so dumb, but Chord Overstreet has created an irresistibly lovable character. Ignoring the dumb hypnosis trope, Sam convincing Rachel to stick to her piano lessons (he takes her hands and walks her through FEELING the music) was a major AW moment in the episode–even better than the kiss.

Tonight’s episode ended with Blaine, Kurt, Rachel and their charges completely freaked out by Vocal Adrenaline. Next week, the invitational drama continues in the “Hurt Locker Part 2.”  Will New Directions come out of the experience without being completely demoralized? I expect the episode to also be Sue driven. Hopefully I won’t be, once again, throwing things at my TV.

Click for Glee Season 6 Episode 5 The Hurt Locker Pt 2 SPOILERS

Next Week’s Glee – The Hurt Locker Part 2