Adam Lambert makes his Glee debut tonight, in an episode that pits pop diva against pop diva! Adam plays Elliot “Starchild” Gilbert, and eager and talented young man who vies for a spot in Kurt’s Madonna cover band. Only, Kurt is having none of of someone who could possibly outshine him. Demi Lovato is part of the band too–she returns as Santana’s new gal pal, Dani.
Meanwhile, over in Lima, Will assigns the Glee club songs by Katy Perry and Lady Gaga to the kids. The twist is the Glee club members who see themselves as “Gagas” perform the Katy songs and vice versa. There promises to be lots of outrageous, colorful costumes. And shirtlessness. Lots of that! Adam will perform Gaga’s “Marry the Night” for his audacious band audition.
I’ll be back later with a recap. Meanwhile DISCUSS. A couple of ground rules. Keep the convo civil and on topic! The topic being tonight’s episode of Glee. If i I walk in on an AI fanwar I’M BANNING EVERYONE. Ha. Also not on topic, stuff outside of Glee world, including the careers of special guest stars. Don’t use as a fan thread, please and thank you.
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Full Recap
Glee left off before the baseball hiatus with a gut wrenching Cory Monteith tribute. The musical comedy returns this week with a bit of fluff titled “A Katy or a Gaga.” The New Directions are preparing for Nationals (SIX WEEKS AWAY??? Does this school year end in July? Will we be forever stuck in the spring of 2013 when “Applause” and “Roar” weren’t even released yet? ) when they find out that one of their competitors is a freak of nature club called “Throat Explosion” (It sounds like something from Alien. Or vaguely pornographic )
The club freaks out, pretty sure they won’t ever measure up to the bork robots that rehearse all day in lieu of school, play, eating and sleeping. They are edgy outcasts, who will likely stomp all over New Directions, whose remaining members (all of the great performers either graduated or died) are pretty bland and boring. They said it, I didn’t! “Look around, we’re a roomful of Katy Perrys!” exclaims Tina.
Introducing another one of his convoluted lesson plans, Will asks the club to identify themselves as either Katys or Gagas. The groups will then take on the persona of the other via a musical number. If they’re going to beat the Vocal Explosion, New Directions has to be as well rounded. Or something. Lining up for the Gagas are Tina, Unique, Kitty and Jake. Marley, Blaine, Ryder, Artie and Sam identify as Katys.
In New York City, After Kurt’s almost-boyfriend, Adam (remember him? The mid-game that never happened) found out he was engaged, he kicked Kurt out of the Adam’s Apples. Now, Kurt is looking to start his own band, advertising for members in the Village Voice. He’s expanded on his idea of a Madonna cover band, wanting it to be “more organic than that.” Dani and Santana sign on. But Rachel begs off. She wants to concentrate on her Funny Girl role. She’s also still mourning Finn (aren’t we all).
Meanwhile, back in Lima, Sam continues to woo the school nurse, Penny, who is disappointed to find out her potential love interest isn’t very edgy, despite his past as a stripper (erotic entertainer, insists Sam). There’s a really funny bit where Sam enthuses about some cancelled Nickelodeon show, while Penny gives him the major side eye. After she declines his offer for a date (her bad boy ex-boyfriend is taking her to a Nine Inch Nails concert) Sam and Blaine concoct a plan to impress her, that involves creating the craziest Gaga performance possible. See, Sam is a Katy and Penny is a Gaga…and I’m not feeling these recycled Lima story lines. And how the heck is it kosher for a student to be dating a school employee? When and where does that ever happen?
Back to New York and some fresh ideas. Kurt, Santana and Dani are holding auditions in the NYADA dance studio. Kurt has rented the space and hired the band…but nobody shows up. That is, until the glittery, top-hatted Starchild (Adam Lambert) walks through the door. Kurt is immediately put off, snarking on Starchild’s name and hand-sewn outfit (very Project Runway Season 6 he sniffs to Starchild’s face). When Starchild, who namechecks Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust as an influence, erupts in an explosion of talent and killer vocals as he sings Gaga’s “Marry the Night,” Kurt looks on horrified. Starchild struts and thrusts, and literally swings from the chandelier. Santana and Demi are immediately fans, but Kurt is having none of it. Describing the performance as too “outré” for the band, Kurt dismisses him just like that. Poor Kurt, no stranger to audaciousness himself, feels threatened.
Marry the Night – Adam Lambert aka Starchild
Damn. We’re back in Lima, where Sue is yammering on about an impending colonoscopy while Bree, the mean cheerleader, has her naughty bits covered in yellow construction tape in her bid to infiltrate the Glee club. Sue, who is inexplicably at odds with the Glee club once again, calls the Katy vs Gaga lesson intel Bree brings her, the lamest thing the Glee club has ever done. Yawn. I barely laugh at Sue’s one liners any more. That shite is so played out. Plz spare me. Can we go back to NYC now? Nope. Unfortunately, we’ve got to dive into a plot that involves newbies Marley and Jake. The resident bad boy is tired of dates that consist of dining at Breadsticks and watching G rated musicals. He’s also, in a word, HORNY.
Sam appoints himself the edgiest of the Katys, meanwhile, and sets off to direct the craziest, most out there performance he can muster. “We’re going to get scary and weird and controversial,” he declares. Unhappy with the ideas his group come up with (Sparklers…but like INDOORS! is Marley’s brainstorm). Disappointed that his crew isn’t thinking out of the box for their performance of “Applause”, Sam persuades Becky to help him spread the word about the Katys upcoming performance amongst the “McKinley Monsters.” Becky has absolutely no idea what a Katy (the governor of Texas?) or a Gaga is.
Yay! We’re back in New York, where Rachel yells at Kurt for passing on Starchild. She saw the video of his performance and believes Kurt is foolish. But what he really is, is intimidated. And uncomfortable when confronted with a version of himself. As Kurt watches his friends land Broadway plays and national commercials, he beginning to wonder if that whole “weirdo, quirky, outrageous, fabulous, side-kick best friend” thing he’s been doing for awhile is so awesome after all. Best friend Rachel disabuses Kurt of the idea that mainstream success and appealing to the masses is an avenue he should pursue. She promises him, that if he stays true to himself, the world will be at his feet. “You are a true talent,” says Rachel, “but I think that Starchild may be as well.” Kurt regrets rejecting him without getting so much as a phone number. Sads.
Back in BORING LIMA, Marley and Jake are still figuring out their weekend plans. They settle on a John Mayer concert, but it’s obvious Jake is less than thrilled. Bree, up to no good, invites Jake to choreograph the Cheerios. He hesitates, until Marley convinces him to share his talent. Oh. You KNOW she’s gonna live to regret that.
Will’s history class is interrupted by a PA announcement, delivered by Becky decked out in Gaga’s white nun costume. She directs the students to open their laptops. Sam appears, shirtless wearing scary head gear, raving on about Glee club being irrelevant so don’t come to the auditorium at 3 pm. “I don’t understand this video,” cries an agitated student, representing everyone of us when confronted with one of Gaga’s nonsensical music videos. Cut to a horrified Penny watching the video as Chord walks into her office. He convinces her to skip the piercing date she has with her boyfriend to check out his performance.
Meanwhile, the Gagas are trying to work out their performance. They come up with some very outrageous and un-Katy like ideas, before Jake heads off to practice with Bree. Kitty, alarmed, warns him to steer clear of the bitch. It takes one to know one, and Kitty is convinced Bree will eat him alive. You know, like she tried to do last season. Unique corners Marley to warn her of the danger ahead. “That girl is poison. She is wack like crack, a venus flytrap, she will chew him up,” says Unique as they approach a classroom where Bree and Jake are getting all handsy. Unique advises Marly go full Gaga to prove she can be hard core too. But girlfriend stands her ground. “Either Jake wants to be with the real me or he can go.”
Cut to the auditorium where the Katys will perform “Applause” for Will, Penny and assorted audience members who heeded the call of Sam’s skeery video. The outfits are homages to Gaga’s wildest getups. Sam is shirtless with huge wire wings. Blaine is bewigged, wearing tight, tight pants with one leg cut out. Marley arrives dressed in a pink Katy wig and lollipop and refuses to play along. Uh oh. She’s landed in the wrong video! Will and the others are pissed. “What happened to the sea shell bikini,” barks Sam when the performance is over. Marley didn’t wear it because she was not comfortable. Well, boo-effing-hoo. As if the rest of the group was comfortable. Blaine looked like both Siegfried AND Roy. Feeling that Marley is jeopardizing their chances at Nationals, an angry Will suspends her from the club for a week.
Applause – Sam, Marley, Artie, Ryder and Blaine
Cut to the Gagas arguing in the choir room. The problem is they’re approaching the Katy deal with the mind of a Gaga. To be a Katy, they need to ditch the gimmicks and the spectacle and the lame lion costume that Jake is forced to wear. Sure, Katy can be theatrical, but she’s also the approachable girl next door. To really capture her essence, the kids are gonna need to strip it down.
Back in NYC, The gang is working a shift at the diner. As he takes an order, he fails to recognize that his customer is Starchild. He’s dressed casually, in glasses, sans makeup, and there to beg Kurt to let him into the band. “Is this toned down enough?” he asks, introducing himself as Elliot Gilbert. Kurt is so relieved to see him. Damn. It looks like that whole nemesis thing is over before it really began. And I was so looking forward to the snark. The two have a heart to heart, where Elliott reveals he’s just a kid from New Jersey with big dreams. A student at NYU, because he didn’t get into NYADA, (!!!) he just really really wants to join an indie band. He’ll even ditch the Starchild persona if it means he can join. It’s as if Kurt’s band was his destiny. Behind all that bluster, Elliott is sweet and vulnerable, and not all that different from Kurt. He invites Elliott into the band on the spot, on whatever terms he likes.
Adam Lambert’s musical performance was amazing as expected. But he is also natural and extremely telegenic in front of the camera, which I wasn’t sure he would pull off, since most of his acting experience has been on the stage. His character is super likable–earnest, sweet, vulnerable and talented. I hope the Glee writers don’t mess up his arc. It has potential. Kurt hasn’t had many close male relationships outside of his romance with Blaine. Here’s hoping Glee births a brand new bromance. Starkurt forevah!
Back in Lima. Boo. Sam drops by Penny’s office to find out what she thought of the performance. She breaks down and confesses that she’s really a Katy too, but has a weakness for edgy boyfriends who inevitably break her heart. She confesses to liking the Jonas Brothers. Sam too! He still likes the Biebs. “No,” Penny says. A girl has her limits. But still, the two Katy’s are really soulmates. After inviting her to the afternoon’s “Katy Jam” Sam goes in for a kiss and they make out for awhile in a very un-Katy like fashion.
Sam and Penny enter the auditorium hand in hand as the Gagas begin their stripped down version of “Wide Awake.” Glee acoustic numbers are inevitably really pretty and a refreshing departure from their typical overproduced productions. The lead solos are all A+. I might actually download this one. The Katys, sitting in the audience, are enrapt as the Gagas out-Katy them.
Wide Awake – Kitty, Jake, Tina, and Unique
Out in the hall, Marley, still in her Katy costume, is upset her suspension meant she couldn’t watch the Gagas perform. To cheer her up, Jake invites her to his house after school. Only the house will be empty. And by the way, that pink wig is really hot. Making out on his bed, Marley pushes his hand away when he tries to touch her boob. He sits up, annoyed. She’s not ready to go further. He’s trying to be patient. But…they’re boyfriend and girlfriend, he’s frustrated she won’t even consider taking their physical relationship to other places. When Marley gives him the cold shoulder, Jake marches back to school to promptly hook up with Bree who promptly accepts. There is too much cheating in Glee world. It’s almost always the reason couples break up on the show. A little imagination in this department would be appreciated.
Back in New York (Thank you!) the band brainstorms names like the Nip Slips and Areolas51 . Kurt rolls his eyes at the terrible suggestions, but is sure he’ll know the right name when he hears it. Enter Rachel who has spent the day rehearsing “My Man.” Suffice it to say, she’s not in a very good mood when she snarkily suggests they call themselves “Pamela Lansbury.” Kurt’s eyes light up. That’s it. Rachel was kidding, but whatever. “A band with the raw sex appeal of Pamela Anderson, but the quiet dignity of Angela Lansbury,” says Kurt, excitedly. Eureka. Now Rachel has to join the band. Kurt finally convinces her by reminding her that if Babs could do it all, so could she.
Back in Lima, the kids learn that Vocal Explosion is singing Gaga at Nationals. They begin to freak out (yawn). Will launches into yet another one of his “this is the valuable lesson we learned this week blah blah blah.” It has something to do with other peoples’ greatness making our greatness even greater, whatever the hell that means. Total WTF looks all around, except for Ryder who thinks he’s a genius. Sue, who is principal now, remember, crashes the party to inform the group that she’s suspending them for a week because their costumes don’t conform to dress code. Never mind that they’ve been wearing them all week. Sue and Will are all like “bring it on…I’ll bring it” like we’ve seen ad naseum one hundred million times. So I guess it’s on? Instead of leaving school, the club defiantly heads to the auditorium to magically transform into jungle costumes to sing “Roar.” This is the episode ending number, so we’ve got Pamela Lansbury in New York joining in. They swing from their own vines as the Lima kids strut their flora and fauna on the Lima stage. THE END.
Roar – Entire cast, including Adam Lambert and Demi Lovato
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