Dancing With the Stars 11 – Week 5 – Performance

Brandy and Maks are on top of the leader board this week, with 27 points for their charming and well-executed quickstep.

It was definitely a highlight in a rather dull and silly episode. Nevermind that it took over 30 minutes to get to the first dance. Filling up the first quarter of the show with the judges droning on about their favorite dances HAD to cause a stampede of viewers reaching for their remotes. it would have been better to cut the show to 90 minutes.

Then there was the dancing. Bristol Palin dressed in a monkey suit dancing to the Monkees theme song? Really? Florence Henderson tangoing to the Brady Bunch theme? EEP.  No matter how genial the boy is, Kyle Massey cannot dance.

The TV theme idea probably looked good on paper, but it really trivialized the dances in a show that’s already pretty trivial.

Queen Bee, Jennifer Grey seemed to lose some steam this week. She probably needs a long nap, right about now, because ringer or no, she has been dancing her ass off.  She and Derek came in 2nd with 25 points.

So, who should go home? Bristol Palin please. Really, I think we’ve seen enough. Florence Henderson should be right behind her.

Live blog and Videos after the JUMP…

It’s TV Theme Week on Dancing With The Stars Week 5! This week’s video packages feature the judges discussing the individual dancers.

WTF? It’s 8:11 and we’ve yet to see ONE dance. ARGH. Could there be more stupid boring filler in this show?

That was nearly 30 minutes of “The Judges Favorite Dances” How about shortening the show to 90 minutes instead of filling it with mind-numbing crap?

Brandy and Maks Chmerkovskiy – quickstep – Theme from Friends – Aw. How cute. All they need is a fountain to splash around in! Len has nothing to complain about tonight. Really great choreography from Maks. Very charming and well danced.  Love Maks in his spats. Len says, “I’m so impressed with that! I’m not joking. It was full of energy, sassy. You’re best dance.” Bruno says, “You found the right formula. It’s working. You did it. You were on it.” Carrie Ann says, “I see such an amazing new bond. A whole ‘nother level.” Carrie Ann – 9 Len – 9 Bruno – 9 – 271-800-868-3406IntroDance/Scores

Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas – Tango – The Brady Bunch Theme (what else?) – Barry Williams drops by to visit Florence. She hints that “something” might have happened between them. It’s really really really creepy. Tangoing to the BB theme seems really ridiculous. Uhm. This might be the week that Florence finally leaves us–dancing (badly) to the theme song of her hit TV show. How ironic. Bruno says, “The beginning it was a beautiful tango.” He didn’t like the last part. Carrie Ann says, “I liked it. You were doing moves just like all the younger people. You’re a sexy senior. Some of the moves threw off your timing.” Len says, “Parts of that tango were excellent…it needed a little bit of calmness. Possibly your best dance yet.” Florence gave Len a big kiss after he said he wished he could be a “sexy senior”. – 1-800-868-3409 Carrie Ann – 7 – Len – 7 Bruno – 7 – 21 – Intro/DanceScores

Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya – Quickstep – The Theme from Bewitched – Anna knows nothing about American culture. Bewitched and Walter Peyton baffle her. Kurt’s all hammy as Anna wiggles her nose. This is pretty silly, but definitely one of Kurt’s better dances. Carrie Ann says, “I just saw the spirit of Gene Kelly…you just made that seem like something you’ve done all your life. Len says, “After last week the only way was up, and up you have gone.” Bruno says, “The magic is back. Brilliant.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 24 (Their highest score so far) – 1-800-868-3408 – Intro/Dance/Scores

Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani – Rumba – Theme from the Hills “Unwritten” – Audrina is a little uncomfortable getting “intimate” with Tony. So, Richard Gere’s advice for love scenes is to eat some smelly garlic and/or onions (???) Audrina is a good dancer? But she’s so stiff and personality-free, she’s soooo boring to watch. Len says, “That was an excellent rumba, a bit of chemistry, you looked a bit intimidated” Bruno says, “Technically you have improved, but I want it to pulsate with passion. Don’t be plastic be fantastic, ” Carrie Ann says, “The strength in your lower half was gorgeous, ” Carrie Ann swears she saw a lift. Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 231-800-868-3401 – IntroDance/Scores

Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer – Foxtrot – The theme to Charlie’s Angels – Kym and Chelsie drop by to help Lacey with Kyle. He really needs the help. OMG Kyle in that 70s style afro wig is off the hook. lulz. Wait..now they are doing the hustle? This 70’s update on the foxtrot is not working. Kyle is still terrible. Bruno says, “You bring on the feel good factor. This was a foxtrot possessed by disco fever. There wasn’t enough foxtrot in it.” Carrie Ann says, “I disagree. You made a very groovy Charlie. You were focused on the technique.” Len says, “It started bad and gradually got worse and worse. That was joke.” I knew Len would hate that. Carrie Ann – 8 Len – 5, Bruno – 7 – 201-800-868-3403 – Intro/Dance/Scores

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke – Rumba – The Theme to Hill Street Blues – They drop by the Lakers court to visit Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson. Since I’m programmed to hate the Lakers, I don’t care. A smooth, elegant and sexy rumba. Nice job. Carrie Ann says, “It just got hotter and hotter and hotter…” Len says, “there’s an ease and an elegance about your dancing, but I didn’t get the feeling of a developing romance, more like a couple staying together for the sake of the children.” Bruno says, “…mega smooth.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 241-800-868-3404 – Intro/DanceScores

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas – Jive – Theme to the Monkees – OMG Bristol and Mark are dressed in monkee suits. They take them, off. But maybe they should have kept them on as a distraction to the horrible dancing. Note to Bristol: Dressing in stupid costumes does not give you personality. Len says, “I liked the monkey suits. It was good fun. I think I saw a high degree of performance from you.” Bruno says, “You tried to perform, but your technique went down the Swanee” Carrie Ann says, “I’m so happy for you, I saw a real transformation. A big step forward.” Bristol says she wore the monkey suit because she wasn’t good at the Jive. Lulz. Carrie Ann – 6, Len 6, Bruno – 6 – 181-800-868-3407 – Intro/Dance/Scores

Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough – Foxtrot – The theme song to “Married with Children” (“Love and Marriage”) – Jennifer pretends that she doesn’t know how to do the foxtrot. Yeah, right. She begins arguing with Derek. I can’t put my finger on it, but there was something missing there. Maybe Jennifer is tired. (Like I am right now. Tonight’s show felt like it went on forever…) Bruno says, “It was like watching the perfect housewife. Pristine, elegant. Beautiful” Carrie Ann says, “It was good, it wasn’t nearly your best. I saw your eyes go blank. Out of sync.” Len says, “The actual was lovely, it was all a bit too theatrical. I don’t think you need to waste 12 bars with a feather duster.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 9 – 25 – 1-800-868-3411 – Intro/Dance/Scores

About mj santilli 33672 Articles
Founder and editor of mjsbigblog.com, home of the awesomest fan community on the net. I love cheesy singing shows of all kinds, whether reality or scripted. I adore American Idol, but also love The Voice, Glee, X Factor and more!