Dancing With the Stars – Week 3 – Results


Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel are eliminated – VIDEO

I know Margaret Cho’s dancing was tragic, but I thought the fact that she let her rainbow-colored freak flag fly Monday night, for the KIDS earned her another week, at least.

I would have been happy to see Bristol Palin, who is boring as hell, hit the road.  I wouldn’t have minded loosing Florence Henderson who lost me about 2 minutes after I said to myself, “Oh look! It’s Mrs. Brady!”  Bleh.

How embarrassing was it for Rick and Cheryl who thought they were safe–I think they were confused because they were the second out of three couples called. And maybe Brooke’s tone wasn’t ominous enough? But they just did not hear the words “In Jeopardy” and still didn’t ’til it was repeated a couple of times. Oops.

OK, on reflection, Michael Bolton’s version of “Hallelujah” was probably not that much worse than Susan Boyle’s would have been.

Neither have any business singing the song. (At this point, “Hallelujah” has been covered so much, nobody should be singing it. I said on twitter that I wished Leonard Cohen still owned the publishing rights so he could Stop. The. Madness)

But I’d still take Crazy Cat Lady over Mullet Head, because with Suebo, there’s a guilelessness that’s sweet even in the face of her soulless interpretation.  Bolton’s arrogant and clueless bombast just makes me want to punch my tv.  Total, lulz, that he seemed to be plopped in the midst of Susan’s setup with the orchestra and the smoke and the kids.  Michael Bolton–forever the second banana…

Live recap and videos after the jump…

Live blogging the Dancing With The Stars results…right here! Who is going home tonight?

Michael Bolton returns to fill in for Susan Boyle. Ne-Yo also performs tonight.

The Situation and Karina are asked to reprise their bizarre foxtrot to “Boom Pow Pow”, for some unknown reason..

The eliminations begin: First up, Audrina and Tony are SAFE.  Kurt and Anna are also SAFE. Kyle and Lacey are still in Jeopardy.

Ne-Yo takes the stage to perform his single, “One in a Million”.

Season 9 champ, Donny Osmond wanders the streets of Las Vegas with a microphone to find out what folks think of Season 11. In other words…FILLER!

Next:  Jennifer and Derek are SAFE. Oh NOES. Brooke tells Rick and Cheryl they are still in Jeopardy, but they misunderstand and start celebrating. Brooke and Tom both have to keep repeating In Jeopardy! In Jeopardy!” until they finally get it. AWKWARD!.  Brandy and Maks are safe.

The Argentine Tango and Rumba are next week’s dances. Brooke wonders if Kyle can pull off a sexy dance with Lacey. He giggles through his answer. I’m sure he’ll just ham through the dance. Rick discussed ripping off his shirt. Tom makes a joke that I completely missed (will have to rewind).

And now, it’s Mark Vs Val. It’s dueling instruments, with Mark on guitar and Val onviolin. They throw down their instruments, grab their girls and dance. Whee.

KILL ME NOW GOD. SERIOUSLY PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU. Michael Bolton is MURDERING “Hallelujah”. He’s got kids, smoke and CHILDREN. THE POOR CHILDREN. Susan Boyle would have been like effing Paul McCartney compared to this. – VIDEO

Tom called Michael’s return “Triumphant.” Uhm. Whatever you say, Tom, but I’d call it “Toolish”. Bruno stood, smiled and clapped. But, DID NOT apologize.

Brooke is backstage with the 4 couples who scored at the bottom of the leaderboard: Florence and Corky, Margaret and Louis, The Situation and Karina, Bristol and Mark. They’re all hoping to come back next week.

The Situation and Karina are safe.  Bristol and Mark are in Jeopardy.  Margaret and Louis are still in Jeopardy.

Four couples are now in Jeopardy.  But before we learn who is going home, it’s time for MORE FILLER.

Kyle and Lacey are safe. Rick and Cheryl are safe.  Margaret and Louis are leaving Dancing with the Stars.

Margaret says the judges were hard on her, but she knew they could see that she really is a dancer. Louis tells her he loves her. Aw, she cries as they dance their last dance…

Safe:

  • Audrina and Tony
  • Kurt and Anna
  • Jennifer and Derek
  • Brandy and Maks
  • The Situation and Karina
  • Florence and Corky
  • Kyle and Lacey
  • Rick and Cheryl
  • Bristol and Mark
About mj santilli 33687 Articles
Founder and editor of mjsbigblog.com, home of the awesomest fan community on the net. I love cheesy singing shows of all kinds, whether reality or scripted. I adore American Idol, but also love The Voice, Glee, X Factor and more!

38 Comments

  1. It’s long been said that the pros/celebs for whatever reason can barely hear Tom and co-host when they are standing on stage. Oops. Not to mention they also completely screwed up the packages and showed Kurt’s when Rick was standing on stage.

  2. Bolton is singing Subo’s Hallelujah. He actually sounds pretty damn good. I can’t believe I said that.

    Haha MJ I take it you didn’t like it? I just love that song and all the different renditions of it. I know most people like Jeff Buckley’s version but my favorite is Rufus Wainwrights, then Jason Castro’s. Different strokes I guess, lol. I am positive I would have hated Subo’s version.

  3. Michael Bolton is actually standing in for SuBo in singing “Hallelujah”, so it looks like they didn’t waste all of the preparation and production. He’s not doing a bad job, but he’s kind of straining on the high notes.

    I just love that song and all the different renditions of it. I know most people like Jeff Buckley’s version but my favorite is Rufus Wainwrights, then Jason Castro’s.

    I really like that song too. My favorite rendition is by k.d. lang.

  4. I liked Michael’s version of Hallelujah….and that girl with the big teeth can really dance!

  5. Situation is safe! YESSSSSSSSSSS! hahaha

    It’s probably Maragaret.

  6. I thought Michael Bolton did a good job. He obviously didn’t have much preparation time and stepped up like a pro. Somebody had to sing it so that Jonathan and Anna could do their lovely dance! They need to give Jonathan a star next season — I miss him!

  7. I so wished Lee DeWyze would have sung his version of Hallelujah (American Idol) Way better-I fell in love with his version! Micheal Bolton’s was like nails on a chalkboard!!!!!!

  8. WTF? PigeonToes got the encore? YUCK. I suppose that means yet another week of the judges not mentioning that his feet completely point IN when he dances.

    To add insult to injury, just when I thought I’d never have to suffer another overwrought cheesy cover of Hallelujah…sigh. It’s sucking out my souuuuulllll…..Ahhhh… I miss Buckley. ;'( Dear America, Hallelujah is not a particularly religious song. It’s a metaphor. Jes saying. It’s always lovely to see Anna dance with her husband Jonathan, though.

    Conversely, bizzarely random and strangely awesome covers of Toxic never get old. Go figure. Ha ha Val and Mark. Did pop culture suddenly figure out this was Britney’s only decent song? I could have told y’all that years ago.

    Nooooo, not Louis. Boo America.

  9. Sad to see Margaret Cho leave….I love her! I think there were other celebs who got better scores but were not better then what she did. I think her performance and the theme of that performance was just too OTT for a lot of viewers. Didn’t compel them to vote for her. All well only one can win and she was never going to win. So really doesn’t really matter that much. Don’t they all get the same money so its not like staying longer is financially better. Right?

  10. Next: Jennifer and Derek are safe. Oh NOES. Brooke tells Rick and Cheryl they are still in jeopardy, but they misunderstand and start celebrating. Brooke and Tom both have to keep repeating In jeopardy! In Jeopardy!” until they finally get it. AWKWARD!.

    Ha ha! That’s so funny!!!!

  11. Tom called Michael’s return “Triumphant.” Uhm. Whatever you say, Tom, but I’d call it “Toolish”. Bruno stood, smiled and clapped. But, DID NOT apologize

    Tools rush in, where angels fear to tread.

    Glad I missed that.

  12. I really enjoy Val and Mark duel.
    Both are so talented and don’t look that bad either. :)
    Either Val or Dmitry, preferably both as dancers next season, and no Derek, but yes on Julianne.

  13. Michael Bolton ranks somewhere near Hitler and Bin Laden on my wish list of people that should never have been born.

  14. mj, mj, mj….so harsh. And likely wrong. Michael Bolton’s Hallelujah was pretty good, emotionally honest, powerful even, with good vocals. Much better than either Tim Urban or Lee DeWyze on American Idol. Best Hallelujah ever, though, was Jason Castro’s live performance at Texas A&M University (I found it online, on that yt website). Hard rock, cathartic– amazing, really. I think that’s what Simon meant for Lee to copy on Season 9. Didn’t work, though. I don’t know what Susan Boyle would do with it. She does have a glorious voice. Her weakness is failing to get to the heart of the song. But sometimes she seems to get the song. And, I love Margaret Cho’s comedy, for the most part, and I empathize with her wanting to make a supportive statement to gays. But. She didn’t tell a story as required (and it’s a song that comes with a story, for golly’s sakes) about anything, as far as I could tell, much less about one supportive of gay rights. She also made a lot of dancing mistakes and, worst of all, didn’t appear to be enjoying herself. Louie’s choreography was pretty bad. All inall, hers was the worst performance of Monday night.

  15. I prefer Tim Urban’s Hallelujah. Bolton bored me to tears but it wasn’t as bad as MJ said. The kids were just a bizarre part though. They likely would’ve made more sense with SuBo. With Bolton is was almost creepy.

  16. Bolton’s arrogant and clueless bombast just makes me want to punch my tv.

    Lol, this! We don’t get the show here but I can almost see the performance knowing Bolton. Sums up exactly why I never liked him even in his prime.

  17. Well, MJ, so how do you feel about Michael Bolton??? :-) I would comment on Hallelujeh if I hadn’t fallen asleep in the middle of it. Michael Bolton has always appeared to be a stiff and churlish personality. He may not be that, but he sure has looked it – a hard character to love.

  18. I thought Bolton was pretty good considering that boring song. However, his demeanor was ridiculous with his chin jutting out like a petulant child saying “see, I can do this.” He needs to grow up. However, I would rather listen to him any day rather that Boyle. Her 15 minutes should have been over with long ago. Bruno with his pasted on smile was painful. Quit it Bruno, you were right about the big baby’s dancing. This season of DWTS reminds of me of AI’s last season which is not a good thing.

  19. I don’t care for Michael Bolton, esp. after his lousy dancing and babyish behavior, but I have to give him credit for filling in with someone else’s song and arrangement. Sure, it’s good publicity for him, but steeping in at the last moment would give anyone pause. I loved Jonathan’s and Anna’s dance and am glad they got to perform it.
    As for Susan Boyle – she’s now had two strike against her – AGT now DWTS. I doubt anyone will book her now, except maybe that train wreck American Idol. I think he definitely has a mental block about performing live now.

  20. I wasn’t watching Michael Bolton ( was on the computer at the time)and just listening to him. Maybe that’s why I liked it, lol.

  21. While I have to agree that Bristol is not the best dancer, I also have to think she has decided she would rather be remembered for being quiet and reserved rather than loud and flashy. She knows whatever she does will reflect on her future and I think she is taking the safe route. I don’t blame her really. It’ hard to go around giving don’t-do-as-I did speeches after you have been on TV last week with your boobs hanging out!

  22. But I’d still take Crazy Cat Lady over Mullet Head, because with Suebo, there’s a guilelessness that’s sweet even in the face of her soulless interpretation. Bolton’s arrogant and clueless bombast just makes me want to punch my tv. Total, lulz, that he seemed to be plopped in the midst of Susan’s setup with the orchestra and the smoke and the kids. Michael Bolton–forever the second banana…

    I agree. There’s no arrogance vibe from SuBo, but I can’t say the same for MiBo. I LOL too that MiBo was obviously just droppped into the whole SuBo production number of Hallelujah, and it was odd to see the children’s choir and other effects, which would have fit SuBo so well. Whenever I’ve seen SuBo perform, she seems utterly terrified and I feel relieved for her once she’s finished singing. Maybe, that’s why I don’t find her live performances enjoyable at all (aside from the music).

  23. As for Susan Boyle – she’s now had two strike against her – AGT now DWTS. I doubt anyone will book her now, except maybe that train wreck American Idol. I think he definitely has a mental block about performing live now.

    I still think that shows will book SuBo, regardless, as long as she brings in ratings. It’s hard to know how her next CD will sell, but lots of her fans are disappointed with the track list, and so many religious Christmas songs (only 3 secular songs). According to one of her fansites, SuBo was expected to release a double CD with original songs and Xmas music, but the release of the original song CD has been postponed until 2011. If true, it will be interesting to see what SuBo does with original material.

  24. Really?!

    Bristol in bottom two? Are you kidding me? Based on Dial Idol, Bristol are top of the pack in votes last week and this week. So it clear now that the producer want Bristol to go very deep this season by make as if she and Mark are in jeopardy going home.

    Next week, either Florence or The Situation will go home. Their scores are not that good and the votes look like not that great either.

    I am hoping Karina can come up with some clever choreo to save them for one more week.

  25. Is Dial Idol for DWTS all that accurate this season? I know in other seasons it was pretty off so I havent even bothered following it. But I do think Bristol is fodder in terms of going very far (though I absolutely think the producers view her and “Sich” as the ratings grabbers much like Kate Gosselyn and her massive suckage last year.

    I pretty much echo MJ’s thoughts on Michael Bolton and I almost fell asleep during his performance, but I do give him credit for stepping in so last minute.

  26. mj, mj, mj….so harsh. And likely wrong

    How can an opinion be “likely wrong”? And for my money, the best version of “Hallelujah” is Jeff Buckley’s. Nobody can touch it, In my opinion.

    Michael Bolton has no phrasing or nuance in his singing style. He’s a hack. In my opinion.

  27. Michael was lovely Mj, I went on here thinking it would be so bad because you said he murdered it, but it was very good. You could see him putting his all into it but thats your opinion and thats ok but he did a very good job on that, I am glad after the humiliation he got last week. Even though I was never a fan, I hated seeing that so I am glad he proved that he still can sing well

  28. I happen to like Bristol Palin. Sure, she needs to loosen up a bit, and I think she will the longer she is on the show. I believe that political motivation is the reason some don’t like her.

  29. Next week, either Florence or The Situation will go home. Their scores are not that good and the votes look like not that great either.

    I am hoping Karina can come up with some clever choreo to save them for one more week.

    Poor Karina. No matter how clever the choreo is, she still will have to do the majority of dancing since The Situation is totally stiff. I remember Apollo and how fun and great Julianne’s choreo was, and that was because Apollo could handle it.

  30. Michael was lovely Mj, I went on here thinking it would be so bad because you said he murdered it, but it was very good. You could see him putting his all into it but thats your opinion and thats ok but he did a very good job on that, I am glad after the humiliation he got last week. Even though I was never a fan, I hated seeing that so I am glad he proved that he still can sing well

    I liked it, too. Week after week the band singers do actually ‘murder’ songs and I certainly don’t think that is what Michael did. My opinion, of course. As for the song choice and setting with the kid choir, etc…..obviously that was prepared for Susan and was not at all his responsibility.

  31. I just listened to a bit of the Bolton Hallelujah video and I think MJ’s original assessment was, if anything, kind. It was godawful. But the children perversity (does anyone actually listen to the lyrics?) can’t be entirely blamed on the producers: Cohen did a bizarro performance with a bunch of darling German children back in the day.

    I want to speak up a bit for the show band and singers. I don’t know the process, but if my hunch is right, they’ve got a tough job: my guess- Pros and whoever they rely on are constantly scanning pop music to find novel songs that almost have the right meter for the dances (ergo all the fake waltz tempos). So they’re very keyed into particular studio versions. They hand off their pick to the band who then must tread a thin line: they can’t literally copy the studio song, but they’ve got to come really close, so they end up with something that is in a very uncomfortable zone between mimicry and interpretation. Neither faithful enough nor fresh enough. Thankless.

  32. Gah, Michael Bolton’s version was vomitous. OK, I made up a word, but yes. I actually was watching with my BF and he thinks Rick will win. LOL. It was his first episode. ;-)

    I’m over everyone doing this song, too. Enough, already!!!

    ETA: Hi Sumi! :-)

  33. I thought Michael Bolton did a good job. He obviously didn’t have much preparation time and stepped up like a pro.

    I also thought Michael did a nice job. It wasn’t as if he picked the song. All the preparations were there, and he stepped in with one hour reherasal. Good for him.

    I have decided to view The Situation’s pogeon toes with sympathy. This handicapp is quite noticeable in young childhood. Most families would have this problem corrected with braces, casts, surgery, etc. It is quite possible his family did not have insurance and couldn’t afford to get his legs fixed properly. Bravo for going out there knowing he might be ridiculed!

  34. I have decided to view The Situation’s pogeon toes with sympathy.

    He’s not so severely deformed that he can’t correct it even a tiny bit. It’s that he isn’t trying to correct it. This should be one of the first things Karina worked on with him, because it’s all about learning proper hip position. Goes in line with upper body carriage, posture, pretty arms, hip action, pointing your toes (Brandy got dinged for this,) and everything else they teach. Turn out comes from the hip and rotation. I don’t expect him (nor most mere mortals) to be have Micha’s feet, but it’s been two weeks now and the judges don’t even mention his feet in a vague, your footwork is atrocious, work on your feet kind of way other than a single throwaway comment from Carrie Ann that was glossed over.

    This is a matter of overcoming innate bad habits to learn the proper way to dance, which is supposed to be the point. If everyone else has to learn, he should too. Not only does it look horribly awkward to someone with a trained eye, it’s going to affect his stability and endurance. Turning out from the hip improves your leg conditioning not only in dance, but other athletics. I haven’t taken a dance lesson in years but I keep up with my stretching regimen because it’s excellent for my body in general. Someone who spends so much time at the gym and is so body conscious should welcome the instruction. *cough* I would think he would thank Karina for teaching him stretches and other things he can do to improve his turn out. Bringing it up could inspire other people with the same problem to learn these things also.

    And, well, if the judges are going to harp on Kyle’s flat footedness, or any number of innate difficulties of the other celebrities when attempting to dance, they should be equally diligent about pointing out such a glaring, um, situation. I assume they aren’t because he’s a ratings draw right now for a certain demo, and once you notice it, it’s pretty hard to ignore. So, until the judges are fair, he’s ol’ Pigeon Toes to me.

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