Dancing With The Stars Season 9 – Top 16 Dancers – It’s Guys Night – VIDEO

It’s the biggest cast ever–16 couples. Yippee! I wonder how many more couples the producers can shoehorn into this show? Too much! Oh well, there will be some double eliminations right off the bat. Can’t get rid of Tom Delay too soon! Sorry Cheryl Burke, I love ya…but just NO.

Live blog coming…

The show begins with the male partners performing a routine to “The Boys are Back in Town” – VIDEO

Aw, Hi Tom Bergeron. Both you and Ryan Seacrest were scorned at the Emmys last night…

Tonight, the men will dance, tomorrow the women

Low scores for all the guys, until that “team relay” dance that basically graded everyone on a curve. Nobody was better than average tonight, yet Donny and Aaron ended up with 10’s for their relay score.   The highest score for the partner dance was 22, awarded to Aaron, and–inexplicably–Chuck. After the Relay points were added in, Aaron Carter was the leader with 32 points, with Donny Osmond right behind him at 30.

PS: Was that Marie Osmond sitting with one of the Jackson’s in the audience?   Weird.

The women better bring it tomorrow, or it’s going to be a long season…

Live blog   AND VIDEOS after the jump…

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff – Cha cha cha – Younger, trainwreck brother of Nik Carter. He’s a boybander type, so he should be able to dance, right? Aaron is crushing on Karina. Right. They’re dancing to “Beggin” I’ve only heard this a few million times over the summer /exaggerating. Ohh it the rappity rap version. I dunno, Aaron gives off a real douchey vibe, even on the dance floor. Len says it was full of potential and strong. Bruno says he needs more control. Carrie Ann says excellent but she critiques his feet. Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 8, Bruno – 7 –22 – Team Relay – 10TOTAL – 321-800-868-3401VIDEO

Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya – Foxtrot – Chuck is a mixed martial artist. I’m sure he’s famous somewhere, and with some people. Anna tries to teach him to dance. He’s determined to show his “softer” side. Nice mohawk, dude. He’s pretty stiff, and looks really nervous. Total frozen face! You can see him concentrating on his steps. Bruno calls it “very very rough.” Carrie Ann says, “you’re not graceful yet, but you are smooth and charming.” Len says it was better than he thought it would be. Carrie Ann – 6, Len – 5, Bruno – 5 – 16 – Team Relay – 6TOTAL – 221-800-868-3402VIDEO

Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer – Cha cha cha – Mark is from Iron Chef. Lacey says Mark is flexible. He can do splits! It’s that martial arts training he’s had. They’re dancing to “Kung Foo Fighting” I bet they get called on relying too heavily on the kung fu moves. Mark is pretty graceful, lithe and rubber-band flexible. Carrie Ann says he’s got a lot of potential and he needs to watch his arms. Len called them on the “gimmicks”. I knew he would. But, he also thinks Mark has potential. Bruno says he lost his timing, but the talent is there. Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 7,   Bruno – 7 – 21 – Team Relay – 8TOTAL – 291-800-868-3403VIDEO

Ashley Hamilton and Edyta Sliwinska – Foxtrot – She danced with Ashley’s dad, George. Oh. He was in a wheelchair for a year after crapping out on his motorcycle. Yikes. I could hardly pay attention to that foxtrot. Seriously, wake me up. That was pretty stiff and boring. His parents are in the audience. Len says the basic steps were good, but he needs more finesse. Bruno says he lacks showmanship. Carrie Ann says he needs to define himself. Carrie Ann – 5, Len – 6, Bruno – 4 – 15 – Team Relay – 4TOTAL – 191-800-868-3404VIDEO

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Foxtrot – Well, Donny needs no introduction. Marie came in 3rd, much to the chagrin of many it seems. It’s expected he’ll do really well too. Donny is afeard of boobies! Well see, here’s the difference between Donny and Ashley–Donny knows how to work it. Lots of personality on stage, but he’s been doing this since he popped out of his mamas womb, you know. Bruno notes how he can play the audience, but critiques him on the technicals. Carrie Ann agrees. Len thought there was too MUCH “razzamatazz”. Carrie Ann – 7, Len -6, Bruno 7 – 20 Team Relay – 10TOTAL – 301-800-868-3405 VIDEO

Louis Vito and Chelsie Hightower – Foxtrot – He’s a snowboarder. They look adorable together. They’re both itty bitty! Aw, he kinda sucks but they are both so cute! Like kittens and puppies! He also has Frozen! Face! Carrie Ann says he respected the dance. She enjoyed it. Len disses his hair. WTF? Len liked his technique. Bruno says it was like watching a dancing Hobbit. Lulz. Bruno thinks he could be really really good. Carrie Ann – 6, Len – 7, Bruno – 6 – 19 – Team Relay – 8TOTAL – 271-800-868-3406. – VIDEO

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova – Cha cha cha – Football players usually do pretty well. Michael’s got some flash. He’s obviously hit the dance floor a time or two. He’s the best of the night so far. It’s not saying much, but still. Dude will go far. Mama is in the audience! Len says it wasn’t a great first dance. Bruno says he has a great presence and a crowd pleaser, but the timing and tecnique weren’t good. Carrie Ann says he’s got lots of charisma and tells newbie Anna that she’s got to put more dance moves in the routines. Carrie Ann – 5, Len – 4, Bruno – 4 – 13. Team Relay – 6TOTAL – 19 – Whoa, they hated that! 1-800-868-3407VIDEO

Tom Delay and Cheryl Burke – The producers paired ex-house majority leader, Delay, with popular dancer, Cheryl Burke, so they obviously want him to go far. His biggest fear is that he’ll embarrass him self. HA HA HA TOO LATE! You already did. Except, not on the dance floor. OMG he’s dancing to “Wild Thing”. BRAIN BLEACH STAT. OMG. I have no words. He’s set to be the Cloris Leachman/Woz of Season 9. I’m sure he’ll last a few weeks, just for the lulz. Bruno “You are crazier than Sarah Palin.” He says it wasn’t too bad. Carrie Ann calls it surreal and very nice. Len says, “Parts were magic, parts were tragic.” He liked the Cha cha parts. Carrie Ann – 6, Len – 5, Bruno 5 – 16 – Team Relay – 4 – TOTAL 16. – VIDEO

The relay dances are next. The 8 couples are split into two groups and will dance one after the other, they’ll be placed from first to fourth, and awarded points accordingly.

Donny and Kym, Ashley and Edyta, Chuck and Anna, Louis and Chelsie – The Salsa – Ashley? Still boring and awkward. Chuck is a martial arts robot. Donny–so sassy! Woah, major gymastic tricks from Louis. Carrie Ann says Donny smoked them. Len agrees. He says Donny had rhythm. Bruno calls Chuck a revelation. – VIDEO

Len announces the judges scores: – Ashley – 4 Chuck – 6, Louis – 8 Donny 10.

Aaron and Karina, Mark and Lacey, Tom and Cheryl, Michael and Anna – Viennese Waltz – Aaron looks like he’s got a stick up hit butt. Mark–watch your feet. Tom dragging Cheryl across the floor. Eep. Michael was ai’ght – Len liked Mark. Bruno liked Aaron and Mark. He felt Michael improved. So did Carrie. She liked Aaron and also complimented Mark. – VIDEO

Len announces the judges scores: – Tom – 4, Michael – 6, Mark – 8, Aaron – 10

About mj santilli 34533 Articles
Founder and editor of mjsbigblog.com, home of the awesomest fan community on the net. I love cheesy singing shows of all kinds, whether reality or scripted. I adore American Idol, but also love The Voice, Glee, X Factor and more!