I’ll be live-blogging the Billboard Music Awards 2011 tonight. Kris Allen’s “Live Like We’re Dying” is nominated for Top Christian Song, but probably won’t be aired live. I’ll post the complete list of winners as soon as it’s available. Ken Jeong hosts.
- See the list of Nominees HERE.
Cee Lo Green, Nicki Minaj, Pitbull, Jennifer Lopez, Black Eyed Peas, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Keith Urban, Neil Diamond and Taio Cruz are some of the artists set to perform tonight.
- UPDATE: Check out the complete list of winners at Billboard.COM HERE. “Our God” by Chris Tomlin won Top Christian Song
It felt like I saw those performances many times already, on other awards shows. Rihanna, Britney, BEP, Ke$sha et al–you are BORING THE SNOT OUT OF ME. Argh. Three hours I wont’ get back. Not really sure why Billboard felt their failed awards show was worth bringing back.
Rihanna opens the show with a performance of “S&M”. She’s dressed in a white leather bustier with nearly-thigh high boots. And LOOK! THERE’S BRITNEY SPEARS! Dressed in matching black, she’s looking like a deranged playboy bunny before she takes her mask off. She looks pretty good. At least she’s smiling.
Host Ken Jeong takes the stage to sing an Oscar like musical number. I think it’s supposed to be funny? IDK. Nicki Minaj joins him. Her singing isn’t much better than Hangover dude. OMG PAT MONAHAN TAKES THE STAGE. F*CKING KILL ME KNOW. Now they’re launching into a “comedy routine. Oooooo. Ken proves he can play the piano. Now he’s singing off-key Coldplay with Nicki squirming on top of the piano. Embarrassingly unfunny.
Matthew Morrison takes the stage to introduce the artists up for Album Artist of the Year goes to Taylor Swift. Thank you thank you blah blah blah. Put your award on the shelf next to the others, Taylor.
Ken Jeong and Eric Stonestreet take the stage dressed as Elvis impersonators. Eric insults Ken who runs away crying…or something. Who are the writers on the show? May they never work again. Digital Artist of the Year goes to Justin Beiber. His video for “Baby” has had like, a gazillion views. Justin thanks the people responsible for “getting me out of my hometown.”
Kylie Minogue takes the stage to introduce The Black Eyed Peas. They sing “Just Can’t Get Enough”/”I Got a Feeling”. Ho Hum.
Next, a filmed bit with Ken Jeong “doing” Vegas on his 20 minute break. Comedy bits are LAME LAME LAME.
The super-hot Keith Urban takes the stage, just when we needed him. He sings “Long Hot Summer”. There’s wife, Nicole Kidman, in the audience!
Randy Jackson takes the stage DAWG. “What’s goin down What’s goin down”. Randy reveals the Hot 100 Song of Year and it is “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz. The song was on the Hot 100 for 46 weeks.
Ken Jeong is back, wearing Viking horns…WTF? Poor Nas has to play along while he introduces Pitbull and Neyo. They rap about American Idol and Ryan Seacrest or something in the middle of “Give Me Everything”.
Tim Allen announces the winner of Country Song of the Year. It goes to “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum. It set atop the country chart for 5 weeks and was a cross-over hit. With 5 million in sales, it’s the all time most downloaded country song.
BEYONCE Mom, Dad, sis, Michele Obama, Lady Gaga, Bono, The Dream, Stevie Wonder, Babyface, Barbara Streisand, celebrate the superstar in a celebratory video package. Look! It’s an army of Beyonce’s singing “Run the World”. CA-RAZY special effects. This is better than that crappy video that ran on Idol Wednesday, however. HA HA IN YOUR FACE MATT MORRISON. I think she skeered Matt, getting right up into his face. Beyonce makes her way to where momma Tina Knowles is standing to present her daughter with the Billboard Millennium Award. Beyonce thanks ALL the members of Destiny’s Child. And hubby, Jay-Z of course. “I want to soak this all in” says Beyonce, “This will be one of the best memories of my life”
Selena Gomez and little dude from “Modern Family” present the Top Duo/Group award to The Black Eyed Peas. In the last year, BEP had 4 Top 10 Hot 100 hits. Shout out to Jimmy Iovine! Will.i.am thanks “technology” that’s got to be a first. Taboo thanks his wife: “Thanks for the great baby, ”
Kelly Rowland and Trey Songs introduces Cee Lo Greene, the winner of the Viral Innovator Award. He sings “Crazy”, “Bright Lights, Bigger City”, “Forget You” at a floating piano that appears to be malfunctioning (up or down?). The piano is traveling! Now Cee lo is upside down! (or appears to be) When he finishes, he looks at his watch and gives the “OK” sign. That “medley” was a disjointed mess.
Ken Jeong is on stage with Keith Urban. They both have banjos. Oh, poor Keith. Also forced to engage in some sad comedy with Ken. A banjo duel turns into Ken smashing his banjo “Smashing beats talent.” No, it really doesn’t.
It’s time for Lady Antebellum to take the stage to display their barely-country stylings, performing “Just a Kiss”–another cross-over hit for me to hate with the power of 10 thousand suns.
Joe Jonas takes the stage to present Radio Artist of the Year. And it goes to Rihanna.
Taio Cruz takes the stage to sing his mega-hit “Break Your Heart”/”Dynamite”. Dance baby Dance.
Snoop Dogg and the Far East Movement take the stage. OMG Snoop’s microphone is a big silver “Snoop Dogg” that practically covers his face. The present the award for Top New Artist to Justin Beiber. All 4 of his albums debuted in the Top 10 of the BB 200, 2 of them debuting at #1. The Beebs is thanks God before launching into a bunch of inarticulate stuff, reminding us that he really is only 17.
Enrique Iglesias and Shakira won Latin awards…the list of winners is up at ABC.com
Ken Jeong back for more unfunny, challenging Travis Barker to a drum battle. Ugh, these bits are pitiful.
Far East Movement and One Republic take the stage to sing “Rocketeer”. PITCHY DAWG. Snoop Dogg is back to sing “OMG (If I Was You)” Zzzz.
Keri Hilson introduces Mary J. Blige and Lil’ Wayne (who is immediately bleeped). They sing “Someone to Love Me.” Mary J. rocks it out. Little Weezy? Not so much.
Pat Monahan presents Country Artist of the Year to Taylor Swift. She’s the 1st artist to post 5 top 10s from each of her 1st two album.
Kid Rock tells us how HAPPY he is to be in Las Vegas before introducing Ke$ha. Have you sent Ke$sha your teeth? Not kidding. She wants to make a necklace from teeth sent to her by fans. She sings a medley of….zzzz. Dudes in horseheads with toy guns shoot confetti all over the audience.
Will.i.am says some stars create in the studio but can’t perform live. Lack of self-awareness for the win! He introduces Bono, who can, indeed, play live. A video package about the U2 360 tour runs. This stadium tour will have 10K minimum $30 seats. Oh, I remember when U2 played a rinky dink bar in my hometown in the early 80’s. Kicking myself for missing that. The band appears on stage to receive the touring award.
Ken Jeong introduces the winner of Billboard’s Fan Favorite award to Justin Beeber! He presents Top Female Artist to Rihanna.
The Script takes the stage to present The Battle of the Bands winner. A bunch of bands competed against each other in Las Vegas. Mark McGrath hosted the competish. Gentleman Hall from Boston won! They take the stage to perform. They are Billboard’s Heatseeker of the Year.
Taylor Swift introduces Nicki Minaj who is performing “Super Bass” with a very strange nautical theme, and a GIANT CHICKEN. Big shirtless guys sitting in chairs NOT DANCING. Here comes BRITNEY to sing one verse and the chorus of “”Til the World Ends”. Barely there Britney. These cameos she’s making tonight are so random.
Matthew Morrison takes the stage to introduce Neil Diamond. Video package celebrates Neil the hitmaker and charismatic live performer. Neil receives the Billboard Icon Award. Neil’s going straight to Google after the show to figure out how an Icon is supposed to behave. His kids appear to be in the audience. Now it’s time to sing along with “Sweet Caroline”. Neil is speak/singing his songs now? Sadz. It’s like William Shatner showed up to sing. “Coming to America” is next. He sings this one. Big choir joins in! Best performance of the whole evening. I’m serious.
2011 Billboard Music Awards Winners:
Top New Artist:
Top Male Artist:
Top Female Artist:
The Black Eyed Peas
Top Billboard 200 Artist:
Top Hot 100 Artist:
Top Digital Songs Artist:
Top Radio Songs Artist:
Top Touring Artist:
Top Social Artist:
Top Streaming Artist:
Top Digital Media Artist:
Top Pop Artist:
Top R&B Artist:
Top Rap Artist:
Top Country Artist:
Top Rock Artist:
Top Alternative Artist:
Mumford & Sons
Top Latin Artist:
Top Dance/Electronic Artist:
Top Christian Artist: