Who I think will go through this week: Tim Hockenberry, Donovan & Rebecca, Turf and Ben Blaque. Possibly I would trade out Turf for Danielle Stallings. My favorite act tonight were Donovan & Rebecca. They are the kind of act I’d love to see win.
Here we go. It’s the second part of the America’s Got Talent quarter finals!
Lion Dance Me – Chinese dance troupe. This is…kind of nice? The costumes are pretty, and the performers are obviously athletic, but it’s repetitive. Maybe it’s a “you have to be there” kind of deal? They wiped out in Vegas. At least they completed their routine with no mishaps. Howard: It is amazing. It is dangerous. Week after week it’s the same thing. America gets bored easy. Don’t wear costumes next time. (WHAT?) Sharon: I’m always amazed. Maybe some of you should do martial arts with the lions. Howie: I agree. I got bored. I think you’re in trouble tonight. – 1-866-602-4801
Turf – He’s One of those icky double-jointed poppers. CAN’T LOOK SOOORY. He’s does amazing things with his body. But. The double jointed stuff squicks me out. Turf is living in Las Vegas now, still street performing. Sharon: It takes guts and talent. You’ve got both. I love the way you use the stage. You could put in a little more dance. Howie: There is so much, passion in what you do. You seem to want this more than any other contestant. That shows. I’m in awe. You’re like a human gumby. Howard: There are other dancers in this contestant. Incorporate some more dance. You are up against stiff competition. – 1-866-602-4802
The All Ways – “Telephone” by Lady Gaga – Oh. My this Lady Gaga cover by a rock band is AWKWARD. The lead singer seems really nervous. He throws in a few lame rock wails. And the guitarist plays some contrived runs. The hair metal sound they give Gaga? Is not welcome. Howie: I like you as a rock and roll band. I want to see strictly rock. I don’t think a rock band should share a name with a panty liner. Howard: You got to pick your style. You got to keep in mind song choice and commitment. I think you could be in trouble. Sharon: I love your strenghth, enthusiasm, I’m not crazy about you performing that song. It was just scream all the time. I love the 80s retro band. I hope they pick up the phone. – 1-866-602-4803
Hawley Magic – Eh. I wasn’t impressed with this act which entailed the magician impaling his wife on a sword. And he is too old school–from the clothes and the gestures to the misogynist illusion. Feh. Howard: I think you did a great job tonight. Very dramatic. Better than Vegas. Sharon: Your presentation is too old school. Act your age. Don’t be cheesy. Howie: I love the illusion. I’ve never seen a wife kabob. – 1-866-602-4804
The Lisa Clark Dancers – Whoa. I did not hate that! The music was very old school, but the moves were not. I thought it was well choreographed–much better than the typical kid dance troupe AGT usually sees. Howie: He buzzed them! It seems like a young person’s recital. Sharon: You’re all great dancers. I didn’t like the music. Way too old school Too cute. Didn’t take you to another level. It’s your choreographer’s fault. Howard: You’re in the most difficult category. I don’t think you are going to go through. You did try new moves. You are definitely better than a dance recital. As the young dancers were getting verbally pummeled, the looks on their faces were heartbreaking. Later, one of the troupe spoke up to defend the choreographer. I imagine there was a trail of tears back stage. Poor kids.- 1-866-602-4805
Aurora Light Painters – The concept is “monsters under the bed.” THAT is what you call FLOPPING. Wow. The act got off to a strong start, with an “out of body” trick, but went quickly downhill. The story was muddled and poorly paced–that of a sleeping girl making friends with the monster who comes to haunt her. All the spooky eyeballs looked like penises to me. Very distracting. Howie: I think that you have peaked. It’s like etch a sketch in the dark. I didn’t even understand the story. Howard: He exed them “You are a special act. It’s a germ of an idea. It was a great special effect, with no story.” Sharon: The vision isn’t sophisticated enough. – 1-866-602-4806
Danielle Stallings – “It Will Rain” by Bruno – This 14 year old singer has a strong voice, but she had some pitchy moments. Here’s a case where if she’d waited a few years to audition, she could have been spectacular. She seems like a sweet girl, though. And I appreciate that she’s not precocious. Howard: Tonight you were incredibly memorable. I think you should be really proud. Sharon: You have this huge vulnerability. You are a real 14 year old girl. You are so delightful. I hope America votes for you. Howie: You look beautiful. You are tremendous. You are a highlight. – 1-866-602-4807
Donovan & Rebecca – That was simply STUNNING! These acrobats–a married couple–are strong and inventive. But what sells the routine is the couples’ emotion and passion. And unlike the terrible magic act earlier in the show, these two are clearly equals. Very moving. Sharon: Every time we see you, you do something different. I hope it comes across at home. You flow like water. Seamless. Howie: You truly are great entertainers. So much emotion and passion. Howard: You’re an amazing act. The two of you are a beautiful couple to watch. – 1-866-602-4808
Big Barry – “Feeling Good” – OMG. This terrible act was put through just so Howie and Howard could fake fight. Barry seems like a nice guy, but his caterwauling is not even amusing in an ironic way. Howie: If Bob Dylan and the Easter Bunny had a baby. You’re not a good singer, but you are an amazing character. You are an amazing novelty act. Howard: There is nothing funny about it. (Howard is pissed that Barry took the place of more talented singers) Howie owes them all apologies. Sharon: You sing like you’re on the toilet. – 1-866-602-4809
Tom Cotter – Ugh. This comedy routine–goofing on American idioms–is so cliched. I have no doubt, if you went back to the 60s or 70s, you’d find comics riffing on the same theme. I’m waiting for him to to say “Take my wife…” He delivered it ok, but the material was weak. Howard: You are smooth. You’re the man to beat. You’re phenomenal. Sharon: You are they guy who know his craft. I hope you are in our final. Howie: I know to be judged, the pressure is tremendous. You are as cool as a cucumber. I hope America votes you through. ARE THE JUDGES HIGH? That routine was so lame. – 1-866-602-4810
Ben Blaque – He does skeery stuff with a crossbow. His assistant, his sister, could totally be dead if something went wrong. Tonight Ben shot 4 arrows with 4 crossbows at 4 balloons situated all around his sister’s HEAD. Thank God it worked. Like I mentioned earlier, I’m not a big fan of these “women in peril” routines, but for what it is, it’s professional and well paced. Sharon: Very good. Very exciting. Howard: I thought we were going to have a death on the show. Howie: Here he stepped it up. I absolutely loved it. – 1-866-602-4811
Tim Hockenberry – “The Part of Me” by Katy Perry – And my friends. I present to you. THE WINNER OF AMERICA’S GOT TALENT 7! This old school, recovering, Joe Cocker wannabe is just the kind of singer the AGT audience LOVES. He will at least make the final, if not take the whole thing. Ohhhh. He even flips girl songs! HE’S SO THE WINNER. He’s got a pleasing, raspy voice. But he’s retro and will be thrown into the trash pile with the rest of the AGT white guy winners, pretty quickly. Howie: Your voice is haunting. A possible winner for this year’s AGT. Sharon: You pull every one in with your emotion, passion. Howard: Tonight I think you fell short. I think you have to stop listening to Howie. I hope America puts you through. Not your best performance. – 1-866-602-4812
