David Archuleta posted a lengthy Instagram message on Saturday (June 11) reflecting on the one year anniversary of coming out as LGBTQia+. The American Idol alum has come a long way on the road to self-acceptance, and he wants to assure folks, during Pride month, that it’s OK to be yourself.
“A year ago I was pulling weeds and felt in my heart I needed to open up about something that before I always considered unthinkable. Unimaginable. Always considered my greatest fear,” David wrote. “But that day I felt peace with myself. I wasn’t afraid anymore of who all of me meant. Even if that meant I liked guys.”
David came out in the wake of a broken engagement to a woman. “I didn’t plan to come out during pride month. It was just the natural flow of events the days prior coming to terms with myself and deciding to say it out loud after ending an engagement I had to a great and understanding girl just a couple weeks before.”
The singer came close to marrying three times.
“I didn’t want to hide anymore,” David wrote. “It was causing a lot of turmoil inside. Running from yourself when you’re always stuck with yourself. Isn’t the way to solve things. I thought marrying would solve it. She was one of 3 that I came close to marrying. Each time inside I knew something was wrong and I wasn’t being fully honest with myself or to the girls I was dating.”
His former girlfriends blamed themselves. He wants them to know the broken relationships weren’t their fault. ” They always thought it was them. I hope they know it was just me not understanding why I was the way I was. Why I couldn’t connect with them or like them more. Why I couldn’t have feelings you should when you’re in love with someone when it comes to that chemistry of physical attraction sufficient enough. I didn’t want to pretend just to have everyone think I looked like I had a picture perfect life with a beautiful girl.”
A friend helped open David’s eyes. “A couple months before I ended the engagement one of my friends told me her story how she married someone who was part of the lgbt+ community. He tried to hide it too until he couldn’t anymore and she found out over a decade into their marriage. The anger and hatred he felt. The way he acted out on that. I felt sorry for her. But related to her ex husband so much. I felt that same anger and hatred and resentment building and growing inside of me already. I didn’t want to be that.”
“Dare to be you…you will draw people to you who will love you for all of you!”
David continued, “I knew the way to find peace was to let all of me come forward and not judge or despise myself. It’s made all of the difference. It was scary. Terrifying. You consider ending your life as a better option than coming to terms with being gay or lgbtqia+.”
For those experiencing the same struggle with their sexuality, David shares that being queer is a beautiful thing. “I just want to let any of you going through that struggle know that it’s beautiful to be lgbt+.
“Even if others don’t understand. Dare to be you. If those around you still don’t understand you will draw people to you who will love you for all of you! Not only for the parts they want to see and not just under conditions of you hiding your queerness because they don’t understand what that experience is like.”
“If you’re queer, Being queer is beautiful. Let yourself blossom.”
“I was pulling weeds again when I wrote this lol. So decided to sit in the same spot I did last year. Even if it’s a day early. They call it pride month. I’m learning what that means for me. To have pride in who all I am is. Including being gay or bi or queer. Idk what word to use I think queer is a good broad term lol. But I’m not too worried about picking either. I’m letting myself figure myself out with time.”
“I spent 30 years trying to disregard it. I imagine it’ll take time to fully understand myself. I never thought it was something to be proud of but rather ashamed and why I tried so hard to change. I see why they encourage pride when we’ve always associated queerness with shame. But it really is something that is beautiful. So I hope you strip that shame and hate you may feel for yourself and replace it with love.”
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