Brand new American Idol 12 ads, that promote the upcoming Las Vegas Top 40 semi-finals, attempt to introduce us to a few of the contestants–in the most unintentionally hilarious way possible. Calling the rounds “sudden death,” the voice over asks, “Who will survive?”
Will it be:
The little camper from Queens, Teena Torres? The fashion-forward waiter from Jersey, Chris Watson? (Uh, you call what he’s got going on there, fashion forward? Alrighty.) Massachusetts piano phenom, Angela Miller? St. Louis tutor with the golden pipes, Curtis Finch Jr.? Or Houston comeback kid, Amber Holcomb!
Kamaria Ousley, the big voice from Oakland? Chicago karaoke star, Jda (“karaoke star” is surely a euphemism for “drag act.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)? Jenny Beth, a Kentucky student? Christian rocker, Devin Velez from Chicago? Quirky Arkansas student, Charlie Askew? Other than Charlie, I barely know who these people are.
Johnny Keyser, the rockin Florida musician? Kree Harrison, the former child singer (what?), Paul Jolley, the struggling songwriter? Brandy Hotard, the singing nurse from Baton Rouge? Jimmy Smith, the Nashville social worker?
The California ladies man, Elijah Liu? (WUT? LULZ.) The Alaskan beauty, Adriana Latonio? The inspiring music student Isabelle? Alabama life coach, Kevin Harris? Michigan high schooler, Shuba Vedula?
The kids are introduced as just ordinary folk looking for their big break! I love how the producers start right off the bat with reductive labels for each of the contestants. Could it be simpler? Heh.
Ten of the Top 40 girls sing for the judges tonight beginning at 8 pm on FOX.
PS. No spoiler talk in this post please! If you wanna know what happened at last night’s Top 10 Girls taping Click This SPOILERE Link, but leave the discussion there. Thank you!