All-Star Celebrity Apprentice – May The Spoon Be With You – Mr. Trump fires two contestants before the finalists are challenged to take on their biggest task yet. They must create a new flavor of Walgreens Delish brand premium ice cream, produce a promotional video, and raise money for a launch event featuring the new flavors. With six fired All-Stars returning to help them, the two finalists must rely on everything they’ve learned to win the ultimate prize – $250,000 for their charity and the title of All-Star Celebrity Apprentice. With time running out, one finalist can’t edit their video down to time, while the other finalist has trouble finding donors for the launch event. Boardroom Advisors: Joan Rivers and Ivanka Trump.
Watch for results and Montavilla’s full recap later
Lisa Rinna and Lil John were fired at the top of the show
Penn Jillette and Trace Adkins are the Final Two
May the Spoon Be With You.
In the suite (as poor Marilu gets into her Taxi), the final four congratulate each other. The phone rings. Lisa answers it. They have to return to the Board Room. Dramatic music!
Like they don’t know what’s going to happen.
In the Board Room, Ivanka and Don sit like statuary on either side of Trump. He preface his comments by saying there are no losers in the room. However, two people are going to be fired. So, no intense interviews with past winners this year.
Instead, people plead their cases directly to Trump, with a few intelligent questions by his children. Trace says he came in with big guns, and still has ammunition left. Lil Jon mentions his creativity and leadership skills. Lisa notes that she is the second highest money earner (next to Trace), and calls herself a fighter. Penn asks Trump not to confuse his restraint for a lack of passion, adding, “I don’t tremble.”
Trump announces that he will fire one person from each team. There is a sting of dramatic music, but absolutely no suspense, since Penn and Trace are obviously going to be chosen.
Ten minutes later, Lisa is fired. There is an interesting moment when she starts to comment on how going on to show and being fired had a horrible effect on her life — but that’s too much of downer. Trump pulls the conversation over to how “great” a decision she made to return to the show. I’m not exactly sure why. She lasted a long time, but my impression is that she rode coat tails to her final place. So, I’m not sure how rehabilitated her image is from all this.
But she did win over half a million dollars for her charity.
Next, Trump has to choose between Trace or Lil Jon. They talk about it so long that my computer freezes in protest, so unfortunately I miss the super-exciting moment when Lil Jon is fired. Because, even without seeing it, I know there’s zero percent chance that Trace will be sent home. For one thing, Trace has raised something like $700,000, while Lil Jon has brought in $40,000.
Moral: If you want to win this show, bring your rolodex and take the fundraising tasks.
I do miss the presentation of the task and the team assignments. Fortunately, the celebrities will explain the task two dozen times over the next hour. There are three main parts. The first is to create a new ice cream flavor and taste-test it at a local Walgreens. The second is to create a commercial for that ice cream. The final part is to raise money by selling fifty tickets to an ice cream social.
Donald Trump then sabotages Penn by assigning him Dennis Rodman, La Toya Jackson, and Lisa Renner as assistants. Trace gets Lil Jon, Marilu Henner, and Gary Busey.
Penn decides on a Las Vegas theme for his ice cream. Since they have to test two different flavors, he does a nut-based “Sin City” flavor, and one made from swirling chocolate-caramel turtle candies into a vanilla base. La Toya comes up with the name “Magic Chocolate Swirtle.” Everyone loves it, including a test group of random drug store customers.
Trace loves maple nut candies, so his team creates “Maple Macadamia Mashup” and “Red Velvet Cupcake.” Marilu dubs Gary the champion ice cream taster — which impels him into a series of sugar highs and lows over the rest of the day. Trace treats the customers at Walgreens to some Gary crazy by bringing him along to the taste-testing. Where the Red Velvet flavor is soundly rejected.
Joan Rivers visits both groups. She urges Team Trace to dig into their rolodexes, because apparently Penn has the biggest rolosex in the world. When she talks to Penn, he says that Wayne Newton will be coming — unless some parade in Arizona runs long. Joan privately wonders if Penn’s celebrities will actually show up.
Penn spends time thinking about ice cream packaging. He starts freaking out about the word “Swirtle” (a portmanteau of “swirl” and “turtle”) because it will turn people off, because it’s too mysterious. He comes with the solution of explaining the word on the packaging.
The next day is video day. Let’s look at these teams, shall we? Trace has Lil Jon, who lives to direct commercials. He also has Marilu (actress with extraordinary memorization skills), and Gary (crazy, but brilliant). Penn has Dennis Rodman (no discernible skills), Lisa (no discernible skills), and La Toya (um…. she can… Nope. I’m coming up empty here). Yep, Trump is having his chauffeur gas up the Lexus bus and heading it straight towards Penn.
On the other hand, the idea for Trace’s video is to have Gary play the doddering old guy again. His granddaughter will introduce him to Maple Macadamia Mashup ice cream, causing him to dance Gary Style. They are banking on Gary being brilliant, which doesn’t strike me as a great strategy.
Penn, on the other hand, is relying on Teller. He has Teller show up with four showgirls who change into full Las Vegas regalia. He then writes and directs a commercial in which Penn and Teller perform a magic trick using ice cream. Lisa gets the super-exciting job of holding cue cards (so that Penn doesn’t mispronounce Walgreens as he did on his first season). She finds the job very challenging. Dennis gets the cameo role of “guy lying under the table catching ice cream.” He’s very good natured about being used as a human sponge. La Toya’s main contribution to the commercial is to suggest that Teller call out “Presto!” Apparently, she isn’t aware that Teller’s persona is to never speak onstage or onscreen.
During the commercial break, the audience gets to see a real ad. This one starts Penn and Trace, explaining that whichever ice cream sells better will earn one of them an extra $100,000 for their charity.
After the shoots, Dennis and Gary are sent home by their respective teams. Probably because, without a camera to act up in front of, they are simply distractions.
As we near the end of the episode, it’s time for the cliffhangers. Trace’s editing goes extremely well, but we see him trying to call his friends in Nashville. Nobody seems to be picking up their phones.
As for Penn, he finds out his commercial is running 12 seconds too long. Since the magic trick will be ruined if there are any cuts,
Trace is editing. He handles Gary by letting him leave after the shoot. He makes his rolodex calls. We see him not getting answered.
Penn feels good about the editing. Lisa is worried about the crotch shot of the showgirls.
Marilu wants a good Gary reaction to eating ice cream. LJ wants to move on. Trace feels good about the commercial. Marilu hopes Gary doesn’t die.
Penn’s commercial is 72 seconds long. Serious music. Penn points out that you can’t do cuts in a magic act — making it almost impossible to cut down. With that, we cut to the credits.
The live finale! Ice cream socials! Stars! Penn and Trace duking it out! Metaphorically!
Join me next week, and in the meantime, which would you rather eat? Maple Macadamia Mashup or Magic Chocolate Swirtle? Let me know!