All-Star Celebrity Apprentice – Premiere – Recap and Results

Season Premiere

The show starts with the overblown Apprentice music blaring over a 2 minute introduction of the show, promising us much crazy from the returning celebrities. The celebs all gather in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, striding to their spots like The Avengers re-uniting for yet another epic battle. Naturally, Trump introduces the place by announcing the millions of money the museum raises every year. He exchanges some pleasantries with the celebrities. Brande Roderick is here to kick butt for severely abused children. Dennis Rodman wants to redeem himself for being a drunken mess in Season 2. Claudia Jordan glumly admits that she raised not a single cent for her charity and wants to do better. Hard for her to do worse.

Trump asks Bret Michaels (Season 3’s winner) why he came back. Bret Michaels says he learned a lot the last time, and doesn’t live in the past. Trump moves on, noting that Lisa Rinna’s lips are smaller than they used to be and that Omarosa has a “different shape.” I never really noticed Omarosa’s shape before, so I’m left baffled. Is he calling her fat? Or did she have a boob job? Where’s Seacrest when you need him!

Trump then drops the bombshell twist: No gender segregated teams! I’m not sure I can handle this change – but I’ll try. He chooses Bret and Trace Adkins (Season 1 Rummer-Up) to be team captains. They choose their teammates, schoolyard style.

Trace picks Season 5 players Penn Gillette and Dee Snyder, Season 1’s Stephen Baldwin and Marilu Henner, and Season 4’s Gary Busey and Lisa Rinna.

Bret starts out by picking the infamous Omarosa (Season 1) , LaToya Jackson (Season 3), Brande, Claudia, and Dennis (all from Season 2) and Lil Jon (Season 4).

We get a quick glimpse of the teams at their first meeting. Bret’s teams notices that all the black people are on their team and laughingly come up with the name “Oreo” (they later change it to “Power” — maybe because Nabisco isn’t a sponsor this season). On Trace’s team, Penn talks about Plan 9 from Outer Space and that evolves into the name “Plan B.”

Both teams know the first task will involve heavy fundraising. Trace Adkins claims the Project Manager spot by promising to hit up T. Boone Pickens. Bret Michaels says he can raise a lot, but Brande gets on her knees to beg her team for the PM position. Her goal is to raise $500,000. Bret agrees, but asks Brande not to throw him under the bus for that concession. Omarosa interviews that Bret is “not too bright” and sets her sights on taking him down.

With Ivanka and Season 1 winner Piers Morgan at his side, Trump assigns the teams to make and sell meatballs. Not the most interesting task, but typical for a first episode challenge. Each team will deliver a serving of meatballs to Kelly and Michael for a taste test. The winner will get a bonus check. The teams cheer and genuflect to Trump, then pull out their Blackberries and start hitting up their donors.

We get a little drama as the celebrities start to plan the task. Bret worries that Omarosa is targeting him. La Toya deems her “malicious and evil.”

Trace decides not to open his restaurant to the public. He’s relying completely on big donors. Stephen thinks that Trace’s strategy is flawed. “What if we lose by $100?” Nevertheless, he decides to hold back on his own donors for a later task. Lisa contributes her husband Harry Hamlin’s meatball recipe. She goes on so much that Trace finally growls, “Stop thinking about the meatballs!”

At the restaurant, Dennis begins his redemption arc by sitting around idle. He asks Brande what he’s supposed to do and she suggests dialing for dollars. Instead, he wanders back to the kitchen, where LaToya puts him on meatball rolling duty. Brande calls all her friends, including a billionaire, but worries that he won’t show up on time.

Emissaries from each team deliver their meatballs unto Queen Kelly Ripa. Penn sneers that Team Power brought a vegetarian meatball — which lacks meat. Meanwhile, he and Marilu brought a dish with the unappetizing name of “Naked Meatballs in Harry Sauce.” As it turns out, Kelly Ripa is a vegetarian and thanks Team Power for sparing her from having to eat two bites of animal flesh. Take that, Penn!

While Brande tells us that there is much to do to get the restaurant ready, Claudia and Omarosa are spending their time plotting Bret’s downfall. “The Bible says, ‘Vengence is mine,” Omarosa declares. Completely forgetting that Bret has never done anything to her.

Time to open the restaurants! Team Power’s is bustling with people bringing in checks. Team Plan B’s is empty. The team (except Trace) looks worried and bored. Gary even flags down a tour bus in an attempt to drum up business. Trace pulls him back and yells at him for ruining the plan, and Gary nods obsequiously. Then he runs out of the door again — but this time there’s a real celebrity outside and he leads Amy Grant to the counter to buy her $75,000 meatball.

Back to Team Power, where a Playboy Bunny hands a check to Brande. Omarosa runs the cash register, although she’s actually just stuffing bills and checks into paper bags. She proudly tells us that she’s providing an orderly intake of money for Brande. Bret lets us know that he’s “squeezing” his roadies for extra cash. Nice of him to force his employees to hand over their paychecks. Bret notices an alarming trend: Omarosa cheers for every donor that gives her a check — except his.

Trace has delegated to Gary the task of distracting Piers during his inspection of the task. Gary does a great job, pulling Piers down into the basement kitchen and monologuing endlessly about how to make meatballs. Piers still manages to see the closed sign and remarks on Trace’s “high-risk” strategy.

Piers then goes to Brande’s buzzing restaurant, just as Paul Teutel, Sr. (from Season 5) shows up with a check. Brande tells Piers that she’s up to $200,000 in donations, but her team mates don’t back up her numbers. She also tells him that if she loses, she’ll bring in the two lowest fundraisers.

We see a girl arrive at Team Plan B with a check from T. Boone Pickens for $100,000. Brande’s talks on the phone to her billionaire friend. He can’t get his check there on time. She cries when she retells the moment to the camera.

The Boardroom begins with Trump grilling Team Power. Dennis Rodman mentions that Brande begged to Project manager, but says she was better than Bret would have been. Brande assures Trump that her teammates were all stars, and that Dennis Rodman was “fine.”

Trump rails for a few minutes about Bret Michaels returning to the game. Piers agrees with Trump, managing to stick in some jabs at Omarosa while he does so. Omarosa accuses Bret of lying about how much money he raised. LaToya tells Trump that Brande didn’t know how to delegate.

Trump starts poking at Team Plan B. Penn praises Trace for being gutsy and realizing that the task was all about “whales” (big donors). Trace names Stephen as the worst on the team, for not bringing in any money. Stephen take pride in keeping his phone closed. He’s not going to waste his donors on somebody else’s task. The Trump frown. They do not like.

Trump moves on to the meatball contest, but questions Brande about sending Bret and Lil Jon. “Are they your biggest celebrities?” he asks. What a weird question. Piers then jabs Brande for putting Omarosa on the restaurant’s poster. Both Dennis and Claudia jump in to defend Omarosa (or maybe just because Piers is being incredibly obnoxious right now). Trump likes their loyalty, but warns them that Omarosa will turn on them “like a snake.” He chuckles at the prospect.

Oh, and Team Power won the meatball contest. $20,000. That turns out to be meaningless, because Team Power only raised $230,000, while Plan B raised $419,000. Since it’s Project Manager take all, Trace Adkins gets $670,000 for his charity, the American Red Cross.

Plan B retires to the suite to watch Brande’s team eviscerate itself. Trace thanks his team for the win and considers his work for the season done.

In the Boardroom, Brande comes under a rain of brimstone and fire. She asks Omarosa who raised the least amount of money and Omarosa refuses to tell her. Omarosa neither knows nor cares. Although she was the team accountant, she didn’t keep count. Ivanka criticizes Brande for not knowing numbers for her team. Brande, sadly, doesn’t have a clue what was brought in — she was told the amount was over $300,000. The only number she knows for sure is $132,000. That’s the amount she raised personally.

Each player gives their own numbers, Lil Jon seems to have brought in between $50-$60,000. Everyone else was about $20-25,000. LaToya’s sum is $18,000. But some of them are lying because the amount they claim to have raised is about $80,000 more than the final count. Brande finally chooses Bret and LaToya as her sacrificial firees.

Trump immediately dismisses LaToya as a possible fire. (Why? She brought in the least amount of money — that is legitimate grounds for dismissal.) LaToya cunningly parries that charge by saying Brande has no idea how much she raised. Trump demands to know why Omarosa wasn’t brought back. He says Omarosa took the accounting job for the express purpose of screwing Brande over. Brande finally admits that she knew there was no way in hell Trump would lose the Omarosa/Piers drama this soon in the season. Hard to argue against that reasoning.

That leaves Bret, who knew he was doomed the minute Brande named him. (While they waited for the final grilling, Brande asked Bret’s forgiveness and he gave it, warning her that Omarosa would target her now.) Trump yells at Bret for returning for a few more minutes, then summarily fires him. He warns Brande to smarten up.

Bret leaves with no regrets. Alas, he failed to raise any money for Life Rocks Foundation. On the other hand, he gets to escape any further torture by the Trump Organization this year. Run, Bret, run!

What did you think of the All-Stars? Are you rooting for anyone yet? Let me know in the comments below!

  • Maya100

    Not that it really matters, but no, I didn’t watch because I’m not giving Trump the attention he so desperately wants. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=579290324 Michael Bishop

    I love how assertive and confident LaToya seemed.  Brandie despite the loss put on a well organized and classy event, too bad she is not “detail” oriented.  NEVER delegate the money counting to others.  It’s a recipe for disaster.  This was no exception.

  • Allison

    Didn’t watch and I watched every show the last 2 seasons. I lost interest when Trump rubber-stamped undeserving Arsenio as the “winner” over Clay last year. Guess Trump’s sponsors lose a couple of sets of eyes from my house this go-around.

  • fuzzywuzzy

    “What did you think of the All-Stars? Are you rooting for anyone yet?”

    I watched mainly because I was interested in Penn being on this year again and I’m curious about Gary Busey (I only watched last season). As for the rest of the cast, these are “all-stars”? It seems to me that they must have had trouble getting past contestants to sign up. The premiere wasn’t very interesting (Trace relying solely on big donors was smart for the win, but really boring television). I was amused by Gary saying that ‘Plan B’ was the name of a birth control method (he’s right! lol ). Tbh, I tuned out shortly after the boardroom started (this part of the show is almost an hour and way too long and boring). What’s up with Piers hating Omarosa so much? I assume that there’s a nasty history there. There were other references to her being a “villain” too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Li-Wright/100001622678180 Li Wright

    Bottom line – they all need the money (Approx $200,000) that’s why they’re back.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2GSMAIVVJS4KFW5L3XHBUO46DA LUCIE

    Omarosa hasn’t changed. She is still the worst  two-faced person on Planet earth. 

  • fuzzywuzzy

    I think that Clay “deserved” to win over Arsenio last year too, but I put that in quotes because I think that Penn was right when he said that there are no “rules” for CA and that it’s all arbitrary and caters to Trump’s whims. I learned last year that Trump just loves to jerk around these celebs in the boardroom (with the help of his toadie offspring) and it’s kind of embarassing to see some of them throw eachother under the bus and kiss Trump’s ass just to stay on this ridiculous show. That’s why I skipped most of the boardroom part. lol

  • fuzzywuzzy

    “Bottom line – they all need the money (Approx $200,000) that’s why they’re back.”

    Do you have a source for that information? Piers Morgan told “Us” magazine that the celebs made $16,000 for the 3 weeks that they were doing the show.

    http://www.savvysugar.com/How-Much-Do-Celebrity-Apprentice-Contestants-Earn-Being-Show-3023167/results

    Maybe, it’s more now, but $200,000? That’s sounds like way too much of an increase from $16,000.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5CTSGSGATMXQESVDDD7RWQRYXU Jane

    I love this show.  Love.

    Poor Bret, totally thrown under the bus.  But he may have been kicked off even if he had become project leader.

    Trace gave all the money to Red Cross to pay them back for helping his family when their house burned a couple of years ago?  Really?  Trace Adkins used Red Cross help?  I think that is certainly not the case…..maybe they offered and he appreciated that?  I highly doubt that the Adkins family stayed in the Holiday Inn and sent the bill to Red Cross…lol.

    This is going to be a good cast.  If you take it too seriously, you are definitely going to have problems with it.  Just pure stupid entertainment for me, and I love it!

  • Montavilla

    What’s up with Piers hating Omarosa so much? I assume that there’s a nasty history there.

    They were both on Season 1.  Both demonstrated some hideous personality traits and they got into a fight where, if I recall correctly, Omarosa told Piers that his teeth were ugly and she couldn’t understand how his family could stand to be around him.

    That was six or seven years ago.  It seems really weird to me that Piers would still be holding a grudge about it.  What I think is going on is that both Piers and Omarosa have been told to play up their fight as much as possible.  

    It’s interesting to me that nobody really took that task seriously last night.  They were serious about calling their whales and getting the money.  Brande was very upset that her big check didn’t arrive on time.  But Brande totally blew off the pretend “task” part.  She didn’t try to utilize the skills of her team beyond having them call their friends.  And, while someone on the team was smart enough to know Kelly Ripa is a vegetarian, I don’t think it was Brande.

    But why should anyone worry about the meatball part?  They’ve all been to this rodeo before and the PMs know that, to win, they just have to pull out their rolodexes.  Plus, the other team members know that all they have to do is not lose.  LaToya or Claudia don’t give a damn how much Brande raises for her charity — all they really have to do is make sure they raise a little more than the worst fundraiser on the team.  And in LaToya’s case, she doesn’t even have to do that much.  

    Which, if you think about it, makes Stephen Baldwin smarter than I thought him.  His team was led by a country music star, and damn, those guys can raise money like you wouldn’t believe.  So why should he bring in one red cent?  Even if Trace lost, Stephen could blame him for not opening the restaurant in the first place.

    You know, I can’t wait for Penn’s thoughts on all this. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CHZSJKJQRO5OEV7XUDSORCRJAI anonoymous

    1.) LaToya and Bret shiouldn’t have been in the boardroom. That just made no sense to me. Brandy and Omarosa should have. The fact that they didn’t know what they brought is an epic failure, but management of the money landed on Omarosa, who was in control of the finances. An 80,000 dollar discrepancy is not a little thing, as was pointed out repeatedly last night. How Omarosa wasn’t back in that boardroom I have no clue. This task was about money and the fact that Omarosa, the money girl didn’t know the finances was a complete failure on her part. 
    2.) Im surprised from the levels of egos in that boardroom, there were not earthquakes felt within in a twenty miles radius and Trump Tower didn’t collapse.3.) I think this will be an entertaining season, if not just from the clashing of the  egos that we got a taste of last night. It will be a fun season.

  • GRjourney1

    Trace said he had no idea how much money they raised.  I am sure like Brande he knew how much he raised, but as far as everyone else, he didn’t seem to have a clue or he was playing dumb.  They got all over Brande about not knowing the amounts, but in seasons past, I don’t think any of the team leaders knew everyone’s contribution amounts.  She naturally assumed that Omarosa knew the amounts since she glorified herself as such a money person and asked for that job.  If Omarosa wins this thing, I am done watching.  She has absolutely no work ethic.

  • Miz

    I didn’t watch it, so really can’t comment much. I’ll pick it up online later.

    I cannot stand Omarosa and I hate that Trump keeps bringer her back. She is a vile and vicious person. She be there to then end because he just loves evil people.

    Trump bad mouthed Bret all over the airwaves for coming back. Who the hell INVITED him back, Donald? I was looking forward to Bret and Little Jon. The rest, not too much.

  • fuzzywuzzy

    “You know, I can’t wait for Penn’s thoughts on all this. ”

    Me too. lol

  • fuzzywuzzy

    ” Just pure stupid entertainment for me, and I love it!”

    lol Yup. Can’t apply any logic either. It’s a chaotic circus. 

  • breakdown

    Exactly, why did Trump ask the winners back if he was gonna get all pissed off that Bret accepted? Very obvious that Trump would dump Bret. Brande was smart not to bring Omarosa into the boardroom. Trump would never fire her this early. At least her team is now aware of the beastress. I loathe Trump but I do rather enjoy the groveling of the “celebrities”.

  • fuzzywuzzy

    “Exactly, why did Trump ask the winners back if he was gonna get all pissed off that Bret accepted? ”

    According to Penn’s podcast, Trump invited Bret back to be on the other side of the table (like Piers, and apparently, Joan and Arsenio will also be “assisting” Trump this season). Penn said that Bret declined, but wanted to be a competitor. Trump  was probably miffed and “firing” Bret first seemed like his way of dumping on Bret.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bug-Menot/100003601718986 Bug Menot

    I do not like the tasks where someone’s Rolodex determines the winner.

  • Miz

    Neither do I. I liked the old Apprentice with normal people competing for a real job. It was interesting to watch how they’d deal with the tasks which were much more real world if I’m remembering correctly.

    Of course, that is where they found Omarosa in the first place.

    Of course, in Trump’s world a person’s worth correlates directly with how rich your friends are. 

    Oh, and fuzzywuzzy, I know Trump wanted Brett to be an advisor or whatever and he wanted to compete. But Trump COULD have said no.

  • breakdown

    Oh ok, I thought they had a choice which side of the table they wanted to be on. I know other winners will be back as judges.

  • hcpoirot

    Basically if you had watch reality show as long as some of us here, you will know one thing for certain.

    For any kind of competition show that didnot use viewers votes and ONLY judges (aka producer) decision to eliminate contestants, all of us know the villain will at least make it into the middle or end of the competition.

    Even the useless Z-list celeb like Omarosa. (she is not that competent and had like zero donators and I believe she lie when she said she any any donation)  Basically they call Omarosa back to make good TV where she will just fight with any celebs the producer tell her to.

    America Next Top Model , Top Chef, all the same. The villain model or chef will not go out soon no matter how lame they are.

    Even in some votes competition like Dancing With The Stars and Idol, the lame celeb or awful singer can last long as long as the producer cleverly put them always in the pimp spot or near pimp spot.

    Welcome to the reality show . Omarosa wil, stay at least till the half point.

  • fuzzywuzzy

    “They were both on Season 1.  Both demonstrated some hideous personality traits and they got into a fight where, if I recall correctly, Omarosa told Piers that his teeth were ugly and she couldn’t understand how his family could stand to be around him.
    That was six or seven years ago.  It seems really weird to me that Piers would still be holding a grudge about it.  What I think is going on is that both Piers and Omarosa have been told to play up their fight as much as possible. ”
    Also, according to excerpts from Piers’ book that were published by the Daily Mail, Omarosa propositioned him while they were both on the CA:

    Donald Trump set us our first challenge today – to run a hotdog stall in Manhattan. As we walked through New York’s Mercantile Exchange, where we’d been taken to hear the challenge being announced, one of the contestants, a woman called Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, sidled up to me.
    The only thing I knew about her was that she was voted ‘Biggest Bitch on TV’ after her performance on the first ever series of The Apprentice.
    ‘Do you want a showmance?’ she purred.
    ‘A what?’ 
    ‘A showmance – you know, we get it on together. Happens all the time on Apprentice, everyone has sex together.’
    I stared at her grasping, ferociously ambitious little eyes, and laughed. ‘You must be joking.’
    She didn’t take it well. ‘What are you? Gay?’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1162553/PIERS-MORGAN-Fergie-50-000-cuppa-stopped-getting-fired-again.html
    lol

  • fuzzywuzzy

    “Oh, and fuzzywuzzy, I know Trump wanted Brett to be an advisor or whatever and he wanted to compete. But Trump COULD have said no.”

    True, but then Brett would probably have refused, then his absence as an “advisor” would have been very noticeable and brought up questions. This way, Trump let Brett have his way, but then dumped him right away. He sure showed him who was boss! lol