Last week, we had one of the worst live shows and results in X Factor history with one of the only two good singers in the competition, Victoria Ekanoye, being sent home while Martin Bashir, who forgot his lyrics, was saved by the judges. The ratings are plummeting, the All-Star season was cancelled, and Simon is flailing. What I’m trying to say is, the only direction things can go is up. God I hope I’m right about that. Anyway, read on for my thoughts on this week’s performances and results.
Kevin McHale: Last week was better than the monstrosity of Kevin’s first live show performance. This week’s performance of Dua Lipa’s new song “Don’t Start Now” and it was arguably better than the first two weeks, but not by much. I still really don’t like his voice. It sure as hell wasn’t worthy of a safe seat, which Louis gives him, much to Simon’s chagrin.
Max and Harvey: They perform “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore and simply put, it was their best performance so far. Harvey plays the drums for a bit in the middle but I can’t really make out a solo, so that part could have been better. But still, lots of presence, decent vocals, and a great song choice. On this lackluster season, that should be enough to bring them pretty far. Simon gives them his safe seat, which was totally expected.
Vinnie Jones: Vinnie yells his way through a mashup of “Baggy Trousers” “House of Fun” and “One Step Beyond”. He still can’t sing. And the band are wearing robot dog masks, as if I’m watching a bad performance on Masked Singer. For some reason Nicole gave him her safe seat. Don’t ask me the reason. I can’t imagine what it is.
Three acts in, and all three safe seats are gone.
Try Star: They do a reprise of No Diggity. It’s mediocre at best. No safe seat this time, and no huge hype. Could they be going home? I hope so. Simon says that they changed their song 24 hours ago because at soundcheck yesterday it didn’t work. Nicole likes them. Louis trashes them for repeating the song they did at judges houses, says that Levi has a great voice and his backup singers did fine. One of the backup singers talks back. Probably not a smart move, but Louis deserves to be taken down a few pegs.
V5: They say that every performance makes their friendship tighter, and they want to make it all the way to the end. They perform a mashup of “Motivation” and “I Like It”. This is the only act besides Megan that I can see having any real world success. Some of the girls have pretty great voices, and they have great stage presence. Three judge standing ovation for the girls. Louis likes it. (He said it this time, I’m not stealing Paul F Tompkins’ joke). Nicole likes it like that, loves their choreography and vocals. Simon prays that they make it through, great, fun and current, compares them to 5H and Little Mix.
Martin Bashir: He’s going to go out with guns blazing, this week is judgement day for him. He’s worried about forgetting lyrics again. He talks his way through “That’s Life” and the background singers are totally out singing him. The great thing is Megan will look even better following this. The three judges stand for his mediocre performance. Nicole says he looks and sounds like a million bucks, came back swinging. Simon loves an underdog who rolls his sleeves up after a tough week, and that’s what he did. Louis says he’s back in the race. Martin thanks all of the crew. He’s a lovely person, just really not a good singer.
Megan McKenna: She met with a writing partner earlier in the week. She’s performing a brand new song that she wrote. It’s another great performance from our clear winner. This might be my favorite song she’s done so far. Three judge standing ovation (duh). Simon asks Megan what the song was about, says it’s an absolute privilege watching her get better each week, there’s a raw sincerity about her. Louis likes it. She says she’s so serious about this, when she sings she touches people, she ticks all the boxes. Nicole says she’s launching her album on this competition, is like a guest artist each week. Megan gets a buzz when she sings her own music.
No Love Lost: They do another original song and compared to Megan, their originals are super weak. Nicole felt like she saw it before and I get what she’s saying – all of their performances have been pretty damn similar. Simon makes cat noises while she talks. Simon loved that they performed an original song, and says some vaguely sexist things about Nicole (you can take out the word vaguely if you’d like). Louis liked it.
Jenny Ryan: She does bar trivia with Nicole and wins on their behalf. Then Jenny performs Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga, and it’s clearly not perfect. But it’s also clearly a marked improvement over last week and the other previous performances. Louis liked it, was on the edge watching her, reiterates that she’s like a different person on the show. Nicole says she’s taking glory, knows the work she put into this week, she’s redefining what a pop star looks like and is today. Simon says it was by far his favorite performance she’s ever done. Jenny gives a motivational speech about feeling like an imposter at the end, and I really like her as a person.
Kevin McHale (safe seat)
Max & Harvey (safe seat)
Vinnie Jones (safe seat)
No Love Lost
Lowest number of votes: Martin Bashir (CORRECT DECISION FINALLY)
We have a sing off between No Love Lost and V5.
I’m stunned that V5 weren’t safe from the get-go. They are the clearly the superior group out of these two. V5 reprise Juice by Lizzo and it’s a current, strong and marketable performance.
No Love Lost perform a song called Sorry, and again, the rap is the strongest part.
Louis sends home No Love Lost.
Nicole sends home No Love Lost.
I was totally expecting V5 to be cut, but thankfully I was wrong. V5 are saved by the judges. No Love Lost are eliminated.
Simon says that he wants to open up a place in the final to whoever the most popular eliminated act is. I hate this idea in principle, but if it means Victoria comes back, I’m all for it. If it’s not Victoria who comes back, I’ll be PISSED.