Live Blogging X Factor right here! It’s the last week of auditions before boot camp begins…
We’re back in Providence Rhode Island!!! HOORAY. One4Five and a singer named Tiffany head to auditions. Meanwhile, Britney’s manager Larry Rudolph, suggests that she mess with one of the crew members. Mean.
The One4Five dudes argue. Simon arrives on a scooter with a police motorcycle escort. The tinkle of his little bell is adorable. Another group, Adonis and John flirt with a girl on line.
Adonis and John – “Hello” by Lionel Richie – Addonis owns a diner. John works at it. Addonis kinda rap/sings through it while John grunts once in awhile. It’s beyond terrible. The singing is really really off key. Britney is giggling. It’s hard to tell if they are serious. I think they are. This is actually pretty hilarious. LA says, “The good news is that you have a day job.” Demi says, “I’ve never heard that song so hood.” Simon says, “That song was just you going Huh, with the other singing terribly.” Needless to say, they get 4 nos. Demi says, “I say peace out yo. It’s NO.” OMG I think these guys are serious. “Eminem used to get booed off stage,” says Addonis.
A parade of really really bad singers are next. One guy fell to the floor crying when the judges said no.
Wade is the judges runner. He gets them whatever they need. That’s who Britney is messing with. She requests a director’s chair and a staw hat for her room. He runs off to get it. Britney wants a PEPSI (PRODUCT PLACEMENT) and she wants it COLD. Simon says, “Someone is being a bit B-R-A-T-T-Y.” Wade tracks down a straw hat and hands it to her. She looks at him like he has 3 heads. Oh. What she REALLY wants is a TIARA. “Should we be messing with him?” Brit asks her manager. “It makes the day go quicker,” he says. Cruel!
Dinah Jane Hansen – 15 – “If I Were A Boy” – She and 20 of her family members live in one house. She’s nervous to sing in front of Britney. She looks MUCH older than 15. The low notes are out of her range, but overall, she has a nice, throaty voice, she hits the big high notes cleanly. She can really belt it out, and that’s all that counts. LA says, “OMG. You took that thing to places even Beyonce wouldn’t take it. You didn’t copy her. Unbelievable.” Britney says, “You made my day. I felt like I had a connection with you.” Demi says, “I got the chills several times while you were singing and that doesn’t happen to me a lot. Incredible voice.” “This is why we came to Providence, says Simon, “to find someone like you.” LA predicts she will be one of the finalists. Of course, it’s 4 yeses.
The ever resourceful, Wade, hand Britney a tiara, which she promptly places on Simon’s head. He looks lovely. “It looks beautiful on you!” says Britney. Simon’s like NO WAY he’s he wearing a tiara at the judges’ table. Simon decides to award the tiara to the biggest princess of the day. He crowns Britney.
Arin Ray – 16 – Does he look familiar? He should. He made it through as a solo act in Season 1 and was eventually put in the vocal group InTENsity. Remember them? So, Arin makes the finals last year and he’s eligible to come back? Alrighty then. When that turned into a total clusterf*ck, he wondered if he should leave music. But he’s been working hard! And he’s coming back Bigger! Better! and Stronger! Simon and LA recognize him. Britney thinks he’s cute. He’s making music and trying to perfect his craft as an all around producer/performer. He sings an original song, “Count On Me.” He’s not bad, but he’s not original at all. He’s a total Usher knock off. But he’s very good lucking and has charisma. I’m sure Simon and LA see a young artist they can develop. LA says, “I love that you stuck with it. You embody X Factor all day and night.” Britney says, “You’re a true star. That’s why we’re here right now.” Demi says, “Your confidence is really really hot. You have a really great voice and stage presence.” Simon says, “You’re a different person. It was a great audition.” He gets 4 yeses.
Next, it’s Natalie Martin who is inspired by Britney Spears. She’s really flat, but the judges don’t mind. She’s through. Simon seems a little jealous that she was thrilled with a yes from Britney. Heh.
Nick Perreli is 16 and does a Frank Sinatra retro thing. He’s John Stevens part 2. He’s got 4 yeses and cries as he leaves the stage.
Beatrice Miller is 13 and has a really big voice. 4 yeses. THE JUDGES LOVE PROVIDENCE.
One4Five are rappers. One of the two dudes has zombie contacts. Simon likes them. They freestyle to Demi. She’s blown away, “You guys are going to be big one day.” 4 yeses. A bunch more yeses follow.
Changy Li – 52 – “My Heart Will Go On” – Fifty-two year old woman is dressed as a wacked out nurse. She looks much younger. She sings like Yoko Ono. NOT A COMPLIMENT. She’s all warbly with a thick, thick Asian accent. Pretty sure she’s dead serious, too. Simon says, “The good news, if they ever re-make the film you could replace the iceberg.” Britney says, “I don’t think singing is for you. You should try dancing or something.” It’s 4 nos. “Now…that’s talent!” jokes LA, “That’s why we do it!”
We’re in Greensboro, NC now!
Austin Corini – 16 – “Wanted” by Hunter Hays – His mom is a worship leader. “Audience members” ask for his autograph. This is so scripted. “OMG HE’S SO CUTE.” He wants to be up there with One Direction and Justin Bieber. Lofty ambitions! He’s ready to be a superstar! Kid tries hard for swag, but he’s a baby. He’ll get through because he’s got a decent voice and is all dreamy and stuff. I’m sure Simon sees dollar signs behind his eyes. Britney says, “I think you’re adorable. You have the whole package.” Demi says, “You’re so cute! I can totally tell you love doing this. You have a great voice. There’s something special about you.” LA says, “I think I’ve seen a kid like this 25 times.” Simon says, “I want a bit more. That was 80 percent. Taking the song and really doing something original with it. You’ve got to be remembered not for your hair, but for your voice.” REALLY SIMON? EXPLAIN ONE DIRECTION. The girls say yes unequivocally. Simon and LA say yes because they see his star potential.
Britney rocks out to a Nick Youngerman singing “Ice Ice Baby” Britney thinks he’s ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE. “This is how one song can change your life” says Simon. I would have thought singing Vanilla Ice at an audition would be the worst idea ever, but I guess not!
Jaime – A cute boy-girl duo are engaged. Plus they sing together! Way too much PDA from these two. They want to win. And after, Simon will marry them. As they kiss on stage, Britney gives them one of her WTF looks. They sing an original song. It sounds like something out of “Grease”. It’s totally lame. These lyrics are hilariously bad. Their harmonies are SUPER OFF KEY. Simon stops them. THANK JEEBUS. He says, “If I was auditioning for a cruise line, that would sort of work. It was so corny.” LA says, “I don’t get it.” It’s 4 nos.
David Correy – 26 – “Just The Way You Are” by Bruno Mars – He’s adopted from Brazil. His birth mother was only 14. He thinks if he wins the X Factor, it could reconnect him with his birth mother. Sad. He loves his family, but he really wants to know where he came from. He’s got a solid, powerful voice. More importantly, his performance is very emotional. His ability to connect to a song will be his ticket on the show. Britney, who looks like she’s about to cry, says, “You were amazing.” LA says, “Your upper register is so powerful. LA says yes, but wants him to work on his lower register. He gets 4 yeses. He begins to cry, “I’ve been waiting for this opportunity my whole life.”
Now…we’re in San Francisco
Sophie Tweed Simmons – 19 – “Make You Feel My Love” – She’s Gene Simmons daughter. Now why is SHE auditioning for X Factor? This is so scripted and planty. It’s dumb. She wants to be more than just the daughter of the guy from KISS. SO SHE BRINGS ALONG HER DAD. Okee Doke. Aw poor girl is talking about HOW HARD IT IS TO BE THE DAUGHTER OF A FAMOUS GUY. Boo Effing Hoo. She swears nothing has been handed to her! She’s been working hard! Simon is SHOCKED that she’s Gene Simmons daughter. *eyes roll*. She says her Parents didn’t know she was auditioning until yesterday. Right. That was pitchy and mediocre. Demi says, “If you got a little bit more control, you could be really really good.” LA said, “I didn’t quite get the chill bumps I wanted from you.” Britney says, “I think you have an amazing voice.” Simon says, “You have a very interesting tone. You made the song you’re own. Oh. LA says NO. But Demi, Britney and Simon say YES. They wouldn’t have given her a second look if she wasn’t famous already. Ha ha. Contestants backstage snipe that she only got through because of her parents, not because she’s talented.
Tara Simon – 27 – “Without You” – Ohh. She was one of the contestants who was snarking on Sophie Simmons backstage! She’s a vocal coach. She does push ups to warm up. It gets the blood flowing, she says. “I am the Simon Cowell of my studio,” she declares. “I make my students cry. It’s tough out there.” Tara wants to “take out” Christina Aguilera. She wants to JUDGE the X Factor AFTER she wins. Simon doesn’t like the hat, so she tosses it. She completely re-arranges the song. I don’t know what to think. She’s unusual, but a little weird. She pulls out the vocal tricks. It’s kind of overkill, but there’s no denying that she’s well trained and has incredible control. She’s a little old-fashioned, though. And also kind of annoying. I can’t see viewers voting for her. Simon says, “I don’t think we’ve even tapped what you can do…you oversang in parts, but you’ve got talent.” LA says, “Really strong.” Britney says, “You are a true performer.” Demi wasn’t sold initially, but when she turned on her vocal tricks, she was sold. LA says, “A little too theatrical for me, but you were damn good.” She gets 4 yeses.
Daryl Black – “Stereo Hearts” by Gym Class Heroes – He’s 37 years old, has a beautiful wife and 5 incredible children! He’s showing his kids that dreams are worth going after. He says he would buy a unicycle or leather shots with 5 million dollars. He’s charming. He has a very nice smooth voice. I like what he’s doing with this song. I wasn’t sure what to expect. He’s turning the tune into an R&B joint. Demi says, “You have an amazing voice.” Britney says, “Your voice was really smooth and I loved it.” Simon says, “You remind me of Nat King Cole. I think there’s a place for you.” Simon also compares him to Michael Buble. He must be thinking of some retro niche for Daryl. I can see that. He gets 4 yeses.
Trevor Moran – 13 – He’s outside the venue acting very very precocious. His mom says he has loved to sing and dance since he was a little boy. He makes You Tube videos. He’s quite the self-promoter. As he dances around the holding room to “Call Me Maybe” he gets lots of WTF looks from his competition. Mom says Trevor is very self driven. Uh oh. It’s time for Trevor to go on, but he’s backstage feeling sick. TO BE CONTINUED. LAME.
