The Bachelorette 2020 Week 5 Recap and Live Blog

Just a few minutes til Week 5! Finally, something interesting will happen, or at least something less than boring, with the introdction of our second Bachelorette during the season. At least it beats having the same Bachelor, especially in 2020.

The intro reminds of us of the horror in losing our Clare in favor of someone with a harder name to spell. The guys are excited to meet Tayshia, since she’s also blandly beautiful. She assures the guys that if they promise to put themselves into the journey they, too, can expect to make out with her every night,

As the guys are getting to know our new gal, Chris appears to announce that a new busful of unidentifiable rsndoes must be met by the host. This upsets the other guys, who only expected competition from dull, predictable men who had been on their lists. “There’s a stank-ass mood in the room,” describes one of the original, apparently non-stank-assed bachelors.

The first new guy describes his love of surfing, so we’re off to a roaring fresh start. At least they all look alike, so I can can continue to confuse them without fear.

Tayshia finds this an impressive group of guys. She must not watch Jeopardy! very often. She gives the First Impression Rose to Spencer, who earns the disgust of everyone who’s been there for four weeks. No worries for viewers, though, as she cries alone during two coming scenes.

Chris takes the time to meet with Dale and Clara to make sure everything’s okay with them. She goes on about happy her late dad would be with Dale, apparently not caring what living people think of the relationship. To be fair, they’re probably tired of hearing about it by now.

Chris still wants to confirm for people with no concerns outside ABC’s prime time viewership. Clara insists she loves Dale, who agrees pleasantly enough. Next: the remaining guys vie for love with a exciting game of water polo.

Next day, Chris arrives to remind them they all have days this week, which is about all he can say. It’s out first view of Tayshia in a bikini, while all the guys are handed tiny Speedos. At least things are equally sexist. The blue team wins an evening with Tayshia and some burgers, something we’ll all been craving.

But Jason is expressing his fears about switching to Tayshia. Does four weeks really build that much commitment? Meanwhile, Eazy throws every second he had with Clara out the window. It must depend on the amount of camera time you earn. Spencer gets the attack attitude from his competitors, but Eazy gets the rose.

Now it’s time for Jason to give up. The others praise him for his strength, unafraid to acknowledge that their own personal interests. Tayshia appreciates his honesty, but claims it was unexpected. Everyone is shocked, even though nothing involved is the least bit shocking. Come on, producers, you can come up with something more creative. Just give Jason a mild disease or an unexplained family emergency.

Tayshia prepares for her one-on-one with Brendon, who considers when he will get the chance to give her a kiss. He impresses her with his lip action, but she still wants to know why he’s still single. Maybe other girls aren’t as fascinated by how they’ll get kissed by him.

First Tayshia must learn that Brandon has been married before. What’s the big deal about that? Was his first wife one of seven or something? Tayshia was married before, too, so that resolves any problems. If only all of life’s issues could be solved in it two minutes, and at just one location.

Next week: More idiocy, fighting, and drug ads. You could watch or stay home.

About E.M. Rosenberg 240 Articles
Favorite 40-volume series issued by Time-Life Music: Sounds of the Seventies. Favorite backsplash material: Subway tile. Favorite screen legend I pretend wasn’t gay: Cary Grant. Favorite issue you should not even get me started about: Venal, bloodsucking insurance industry. Favorite character from the comic strip “Nancy”: Sluggo, or maybe Rollo. Favorite Little Debbie snack: Nutty Bars. Favorite Monkee: Mike.