RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 5 — Episode 12 – Recap, Video

Chiffonography

The final three queens don’t have a lot to say following Detox’s elimination. Roxxxy is unhappy to see her best friend go. Alaska comments on the giant lipmarks left on the mirror. Jinkx silently wipes them away. They note that each of them has two wins. Alaska is slightly ahead because she’s never had to lip-synch.

In the morning, Roxxxy and Alaska discover loving notes left for them by Detox at their stations. Jinkx looks through her station in vain. There is no note for her. It’s such a Charlie Brown moment that even Jinkx can’t help but laugh a little at it.

The She-Mail warns them that they will have to make their case to win the title. Speaking of She-Male, Michelle Visage comes in to explain the final challenge. They will learn choreography and film a video for RuPaul’s song, “The Beginning.” Then, they will film a courtroom scene in which they must play three roles: defendant, defense attorney, and prosecutor. They will be coached in the lawyerly arts by Gloria Allred, and have lunch with RuPaul herself.

The first thing that happens is that Miss Candis Cayne shows up to teach them the choreography for the video and to give lessons in “chiffonography” and “hairography.” This is instructive for anyone who wants to work a stage fan. It’s quite impressive.

Less impressive are the queens’ attempts to replicate the move. Roxxxy does fairly well, but Alaska can’t manage to keep the hair out of her eyes. Jinkx’s wig falls off completely.

Mathu Andersen shows up to direct the video. He’s RuPaul’s make-up artist and always directs the final three videos. What’s impressive is that each year he looks completely different. This year, he’s sporting a grey Grizzly Addams beard.

The final three drive a convertible (to heaven, apparently). Candy notes that Jinkx has taken over, going crazy and having fun. (There’s a nice bit where she pretends to fall asleep from her narcolepsy.) We see the queens do their chiffonography. The music is played double-time, which I have heard about as a music video technique, but never seen in action before. Roxxxy does great, but Alaska has a lot of trouble and gets more and more frustrated. We don’t really get to see how badly or well Jinkx does, but Alaska notes that Jinkx and Roxxxy are perfect, while she frets, “I’m gonna look so stupid.” It’s a distressing callback to that first photoshoot, when Alaska failed completely.

After the music video shoot, we watch Alaska (in boy self) consult with Gloria Allred on the Defend Your Life statement. Alaska has difficulty articulating an argument, so Gloria advises him to speak with confidence. Gloria cuts through Roxxxy’s “pageanty babble,” but praises his passion when Roxxxy starts to rant about Alaska and Jinkx’s unworthiness for the title. She warns him not let the passion slide into cattiness. Jinkx, of course, is uncomfortable criticizing his fellow competitors, so Gloria reminds him that she needs to both elevate his aesthetic and move the others down in order to win the title.

Alternating with those consolations are the private lunch dates with RuPaul. As Supermodel of the World, all RuPaul eats are orange Tic-Tacs. So, she graciously sets a single one on a china plate for each of the queens. She asks Jinkx about his childhood and Jinkx describes having to take care of his brothers when their mother was drunk. This leads to the realization that “Jinkx” is his way of processing that broken relationship with his mother. Alaska tearfully admits to a fear of death; his reached a state of happiness with Sharon and fears losing that. Roxxxy exudes confidence in his lunch and tells RuPaul that he’s eager to represent for all the big girls.

After the commercials, we watch the filming of the dramatic courtroom scene. It’s a bit confusing to describe. It starts with Roxxxy on the witness stand, looking like a Jersey housewife. In a black wig and grey suit, Jinkx accuses her of murdering the other drag queens. Alaska, in a red wig and suit, plays the defense attorney. Director Mathu asks them to describe their characters as they do the scene. Then they all switch parts. Jinkx takes the stand, looking like a 1950s femme fatale. Roxxxy gets the red wig and suit, and Alaska wears the prosecutor outfit. Finally we see Alaska as witness, wearing black devil horns on her head. Presiding over all this is RuPaul as “Judge Rudy.”

Mathu keeps interrupting to ask the queens about their characters, which doesn’t phase Jinkx or Alaska, but does make Roxxxy seethe with frustration. By the time they’re done, Roxxxy is stone-faced with anger. The anger boils over when the queens return to the Werk Room. When Alaska asks her why she’s so upset, Roxxxy throws a tantrum, yelling that she takes her drag seriously, but that Jinkx and Alaska make it into a joke. Jinkx interviews that she knows Roxxxy is just lashing out because of her insecurity about her own performance.

The next day, Roxxxy seems to feel better, but soon lashes out again. She feels insulted by the

Trying to change the subject, Jinkx asks Roxxxy what her favorite part of the entire competition has been. “Seeing you in the bottom two,” Roxxxy sneers.

Jinkxx stands up for her form of drag and for herself, which Roxxxy decides is playing the victim. “I am not a victim,” Jinkx says. “I’ve been very strong throughout this competition.” Alaska observes that Roxxxy, like other pageant girls, is using mind games to throw Jinkx off. It doesn’t seem to work.

We cut to RuPaul entering the runway in a red gown with huge rosettes at the shoulder and hip. Which you can pull off only if you’re a six-foot Supermodel of the World in ten-inch heels. The only judges are Michelle and Santino.

We get plenty of time to appreciate the final three runway looks. Roxxxy is absolutely gorgeous in a green gown with a paisley pattern (sequined to the gods) and a cape. Jinkx is much simpler, but looks ethereal and luminous, like a commercial for lavender-scented shampoo. Alaska has turned her signature blonde wig into a mushroom cloud undo, and wears an all-white mermaid gown. She looks like she just stepped out of the most amazing editorial fashion page you ever saw.

We watch the video (both the music and courtroom intercut) and it’s impossible to know who did the best or worst because it’s so short. What is interesting is the courtroom bits are cut so that, instead of getting three different queens playing the three parts, we get a courtroom with one queen doing all three parts at once. It’s quite clever and I’m looking forward to seeing the whole thing complete (which we won’t get until next week.)

Michelle and Santino applaud, then the Top Three each get a moment to “Defend Your Life!” Roxxxy declares herself proud to represent for the big girls (again). Jinkx tells the story of using drag to escape her childhood, and that she follows a “different drummer” in her drag. Alaska launches in a character, making a grand speech about her own worthiness and pointing out the weaknesses of the other two.

They leave the runway and RuPaul discusses the performances with Michelle and Santino. I feel a little for Santino this season, he’s there to give a fashion perspective, but not even Roxxxy is really fashion-forward. At this point, Michelle out and tells him that look isn’t that important in choosing between the final three. RuPaul points out that all three are very worthy of the title — and that all three aced different parts of the challenge. Roxxxy did the best in the music video, Jinkx excelled at the courtroom scene, and Alaska was the only one to do what was asked in the “Defend Your Life” statement — throw shade at the others while making the case for herself.

As she did last year, RuPaul appeals to the viewers to help make the decision. Through twitter, Facebook, and about a dozen other forms of social media, we can vote for our favorite. RuPaul may or may not take that into consideration. I don’t think we’ll get Ryan Seacrest out to brag about the “millions of votes” cast.

Next week, we’ll get a clips show. That should be quite fun, since it contains outtakes from all season. Although, depressingly, those outtakes might just consistent of Roxxxy yelling at Jinkx again. On the other hand, we might finally learn who the “kai-kai” couple is that RuPaul teased at the premiere party for the season. Two weeks from now will be the reunion episode and the winner will be crowned there.

There isn’t an Untucked posted yet. I’m not sure if that’s because Logo is late, or because there isn’t one this week. But if it’s posted later, I’ll recap it then. If not, I’ll see you next week!

About mj santilli 33324 Articles
Founder and editor of mjsbigblog.com, home of the awesomest fan community on the net. I love cheesy singing shows of all kinds, whether reality or scripted. I adore American Idol, but also love The Voice, Glee, X Factor and more!