Hi to the six of you still watching this! Join me at 9/8c!
PROJECT RUNWAY 12 – EPISODE 13
It’s a saturday morning. You’re cranky and tired from the work week and you really just want to sleep and eat. Carbs. Glorious, delicious, carbs. Carbs are flour. They’re usually empty calories. They are warm and often soft and always filling and completely devoid of any nutritional value.
I hope you enjoyed this carb-o-licious filler episode of Project Runway, because I did not.
Here’s the thing – its nice to know that Dom’s mom dressing up for church is what made her become a designer, or that Bradon quite literally stalked his future husband in the halls of Juilliard, or that Alexandria got her creche of migrant workers to sew voodoo dolls based on the eliminated contestants, but was it necessary to waste an entire hour on that? Show us the clothes!
…..there were barely any clothes. It’s amazing how an episode that was overwhelmingly filled with Timsultations managed to plod along like an overweight wildebeest stuck in a vat of quicksand. (Except quicksand doesn’t come in vasts and wildebeests are notoriously underweight). (Whatever, it makes as much sense as Helen’s “clairvoyant” collection based on a cape and a picture of an eyeball.) Even when the actual Timsultations happen (“Clunky! Sloppy! Puckery!”), they’re an afterthought to something actually important like….a last minute Tide challenge to create a washable fashion. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, LIFETIME. THIS IS NOT INTERESTING.
When it comes to what actually matters, Alexandria, Justin, and Helen duke it out with 3 mini-collections. Alexandria shows a colorless futuristic set with detailed construction but little appeal at first glance….which is expected when the adjective she chooses to describe it with is “nonchalant.” Helen chooses a monochromatic solid theme, and then justifies her choices by saying “I would wear this.” Comment withdrawn. Meanwhile, Justin plays against type and delivered an edgy, cohesive collection in whites and greys.
The winners- joining Dom and Bradon at New York Fashion Week – are both Justin and Alexandria, thus ending the inexplicable reign of Helen and her FOUR bizarre challenge wins. If there’s a flood in New York this week, it’s probably the accumulation of her salty, delicious tears.
Finale next week! See you then!