Update: Just added thumbnails, and a re-cap…
- Joshua Ulloa – Age 22 – Beverly Hills, FL – Tile Layer – “Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye – YES – VIDEO
- Sharon Wilbur – Age 25 – Jacksonville, FL – Non-Profit Admin – “Superstar” by Leon Russell – YES – VIDEO
- Dana Moreno – Age 24 – West Palm Beach, FL – Student – “Through the Fire” by Chaka Khan – NO – VIDEO
- Kaneswesa Finnie – Age 16 – Jacksonville, FL – Student – “Caught up in the Rapture of Love” by Anita Baker – NO – VIDEO
- Julissa Veloz – Age 19 – Orlando, FL – Sales Assoc – “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston – YES – VIDEO
- Darin Darnell – Age 28 – Houston, TX – Tennis Instructor – “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye” by Boyz II Men – NO – VIDEO
- Naomi Sykes – Age 25 – Tampa, FL – Food Server – “Loving You” by Minnie Ripperton – NO – VIDEO
- Jasmine Murray – Age 16 – Starkville, MS – Student – “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie – YES – VIDEO
- George Ramirez – Age 18 – Jacksonville, FL – Physics Major – “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves – NO – VIDEO
- Anne Marie Boskovich – Age 23 – Nashville, TN – Waitress/Nanny – “Bubbly” by Colbie Caillat – YES – VIDEO
- T.K. Hash – Age 23 – Concord, NC – Administrator – “Imagine” by John Lennon – YES – VIDEO
- Michael Perrelli – Age 18 – Orlando, FL – Musician – “Jumper” by Third Eye Blind – NO – VIDEO
Sixteen auditioners advance to Hollywood from Jacksonville, Florida.
Seriously, I think TPTB are losing the plot, here.Neither incredible nor horrible, the Jacksonville auditions were just a big pile of MEH. I could barely write this re-cap without falling asleep. The contestants are so dull, the producers jam judges hijinks into the segments in an attempt to entertain. But the badly edited clips are pointless and make no sense. Nice try, but no cigar.
The episode begins with the Idol crew in the middle of a police escort. What is this, American Idol Cops? So staged! And there’s Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell just goofing around! They’re regular guys, doncha know.
Lolz alert: A clip of Randy Jackson playing with Journey from back in the day, sporting an awesome wedge haircut. That clip is tenuously connected to the city of Jacksonville by…the fact that it’s got Randy Jackson’s name in it? Talk about reaching.
Anyway, 11, 000 show up to audition, TPTB claim. And they all love Randy.
More re-cap, and thumbnails after the JUMP…
Joshua Ulloa – Age 22 – Beverly Hills, FL – Tile Layer – “Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye – YES – Gah, I hate annoying white suburban dudes who sport fakity fake urban street affectations. Seriously dude, you come off as a tool. And bragging that people compare you to Justin Guarini is not helping. He starts singing, and he’s ridiculous with the pulling at himself and the show-offy beatboxing. So, I’m waiting for that big fat NO, that I know is coming. Except, after the panel mocks him, they put him though. “It was like inspector gadget, ” says Simon. VIDEO
Sharon Wilbur – Age 25 – Jacksonville, FL – Non-Profit Admin – “Superstar” by Leon Russell – YES – Sharon Wilbur is smart. It’s well-known that Simon Cowell is an animal lover, so she brings her cute little pooch, Sasha, to the auditions. Simon cuddles the dog, while Sharon sings. Her singing is raspy, very raspy, like she needs a lozenge, but she’s not bad. The boys say yes. And in response, the girls…begin making out. ??!? This clip is so weirdly edited, I feel like I missed something. I guess they say yes, because Sharon is through. – VIDEO
There’s Ryan, driving a golf cart and getting eaten by gnats. He’s such a wuss.
Dana Moreno – Age 24 – West Palm Beach, FL – Student – “Through the Fire” by Chaka Khan – NO – Well, that was unpleasant. – VIDEO
Kaneswesa Finnie – Age 16 – Jacksonville, FL – Student – “Caught up in the Rapture of Love” by Anita Baker – NO – Mom gives Keneswesa confidence. Maybe too much confidence, ’cause her singing is pretty dire. It’s too bad–she’s mature, self-assured, and really likable. And despite her delusions, mom seems pretty cool too. After her performance, Kaneswesa, mom and Simon have a good natured exchange–it’s evident he really likes her. I bet if she she could sing even a teensy bit, he would have put her through. – VIDEO
Julissa Veloz – Age 19 – Orlando, FL – Sales Assoc – “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston – YES – Why are these beauty queens so fricking annoying? She’s wearing her “Miss Florida Latina USA” tiara, and says she wants to be the first Latin Idol. When she mentions Whitney, I brace myself for some horrible singing, but wouldn’t you know, she’s not half bad. She can hit the notes, at least. “It was better than I thought it was going to be, ” says Simon, but he doesn’t like her tone, or her laugh. Paula pretends to feel ignored, throws a snit, and leaves the room. Julissa brings her back, and for that, she gets a yes from Paula. There are three more rather reluctant yeses, and Julissa is on to Hollywood. – VIDEO
Darin Darnell – Age 28 – Houston, TX – Tennis Instructor – “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye” by Boyz II Men – NO – First headcase tonight: Darin Darnell, who is all smiles as he works the room, but when his new buddy Devin is turned down by the judges, his mood swings to despair, as if he’d forgotten that morning’s dose of Lithium. All of a sudden, he can’t pull it togther to sing. When he finally performs…well, he shouldn’t have bothered. Kara tells him the music business isn’t for him because, “It’s paved with heartache.” That, and he’s completely talent free – VIDEO
Naomi Sykes – Age 25 – Tampa, FL – Food Server – “Loving You” by Minnie Ripperton – NO – I’ll bet my hat this audition is fake. Naomi swears she’s got the chops to sing Minnie Ripperton’s range-busting “Loving You”, but oh, could she bring her best friend in the room who’s dying to meet Randy? Well of course. Best friend ends up on Randy’s lap, Paula on Simon’s lap, and finally Ryan on Kara’s. Naomi begins singing, horribly of course. When her friend can barely surpress a giggle, it seems obvious the whole deal is a set-up. When Simon asks Naomi if she’s kidding, she turns on some fake waterworks, and the audition ends with a great big fake group hug. Whatever. – VIDEO
Nine golden tickets are given out on Day One. “They were terrible, ” claims Simon. Ryan promises the “Superstars” will emerge in the second half. Hm.
Jasmine Murray – Age 16 – Starkville, MS – Student – “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie – YES – Jasmine is the youngest of a big family. Her mom says they both almost died when she was born. Tonight’s first, and only sob story! She’s young, poised and current. Simon’s favorite kind of contestant. He’s got that look on his face, you know, the one he gets when he sees dollar signs in front of him. This is probably better than sex for him. “Cute, commercial, and you’re a very, very good singer, ” he says. Everyone agrees, and she’s on to Hollywood. – VIDEO
George Ramirez – Age 18 – Jacksonville, FL – Physics Major – “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves – NO – Physics major, George Ramirez is a little hipper and less clueless than last week’s nerd, Ross Plavsic. That’s why he annoys me more. Ha ha dude, you got yourself on TV, I’ll bet your hipster pals are proud. I have to give him credit for making “Walking On Sunshine” completely and wholly unrecognizable. Lolz alert: Simon, “Where do you see yourself in 11 years time?” George: “A simple house with nice floors. I want marble.” – VIDEO
Anne Marie Boskovich – Age 23 – Nashville, TN – Waitress/Nanny – “Bubbly” by Colbie Caillat – YES – Seriously? Anne Marie (or is it Ann Marie, like her MySpace) is told she doesn’t have “star quality.” (not mentioned in her clip is the fact that she’s been performing all over Nashville for years.) So, the judges send her out on a contrived quest to fix herself up. She just happens to find a makeup artist “wandering around”, and that’s where she’s left–until two auditioners later–new shoes and sans jacket–she’s back to sing. OMG Anne Marie! Now you’re a star! *eyes roll* That she’s been around the show business block is evident when she sings back one of Kara’s obscure songs to her–heard at some industry function. She does sing well, but she’s no rube. Naturally, the judges put her through. – VIDEO
T.K. Hash – Age 23 – Concord, NC – Administrator – “Imagine” by John Lennon – YES – T.K auditioned last year. He comes back to try again. He performs “Imagine” with so many indescriminate runs, that even Randy “I never met a run I didn’t like” Jackson calls him out on it. T.K is trying way too hard, but his big voice has potential. Paula suggests that T.K was inspired by David Archuleta. You think? Simon, who hasn’t said a word, says no, but everyone else says yes. – VIDEO
Michael Perrelli – Age 18 – Orlando, FL – Musician – “Jumper” by Third Eye Blind – NO – I feel sorta bad for Michael, ’cause I have a feeling his clip was cut to make him more of a toolish crybaby than he really is. Truly, that shot of him pushing his mother away as she tries to comfort him was probably enough to assure failure if he made it to the voting rounds. But, I didn’t think his singing was that bad. The judges have passed poorer singers to the Hollywood Rounds, that’s for sure. Michael was crying, but was it really because he couldn’t play his guitar? I dunno, the editing seems kinda really suspect… – VIDEO
Tomorrow…Salt Lake City, home of David Archuleta, and the Osmonds!