Next Week: Gwen Stefani is the guest mentor. She and Akon will perform her hit “Sweet Escape” on Wednesday. The Top 10 theme will be “Pop” (just confirmed-the contestants picks are not restricted to just the 90’s)
Tonight’s elimination is particularly significant–the kids who survive tonight’s cut are guaranteed a spot on the Idols summer tour. That means, more exposure and more importantly–a BOATLOAD OF CASH. I’m thinkin’ the kids are extra specially nervous tonight as they await their fates.
No time for a group sing tonight (damn!), right after a recap of Tuesday’s show, affable guest mentor, Peter Noone, takes the stage to sing his 60’s hit, “There’s a Kind of Hush.” I wonder when the last time was that Noone performed in front of millions of people? This has got to be pretty exciting for him.
The kids do laundry and sing “Another Saturday Night” in this week’s Ford Commercial.
Back from the break. Brad Garett, pimping some FOX show he’s on, is sitting with the kids. Ryan “eliminates” him first. Ha ha ha. I have a feeling this week’s bootee won’t be getting a singout tonight. Promoting some lame FOX show is much more important than giving an eliminated contestant another shot to sing.
The eliminations begin. Ryan asks Phil Stacey, Melinda Doolittle and Blake Lewis to stand up. After they are all quickly declared safe, Ryan says, “You, are not our bottom 3 tonight.” Phil musta been nervous ’cause he’s whooping it up and screaming, “Whoo! I love you!” No tour for somebody, and it ain’t going to be Phil! Really, he should just STFU.
Next, Ryan asks Chris Sligh, LaKisha Jones and Jordin Sparks to stand. And…they are “not our bottom three.” Phil is still whooping it up. Perhaps he’s thinking of all that dough he’ll make on tour? Really Phil, you must shut up.
Sanjaya Malakar, Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen are asked to stand. Finally, a little suspense. Not much of a chance Sanjaya is in the “bottom three, ” although TPTB have been dragging this very popular contestant’s butt into the bottom line up week after week–although I’d bet you a cookie that his actual standings have been better than the producers have led us to believe. Ryan says, “You are not our bottom three.” Thank God, Phil finally shuts up.
Chris Richardson and Stephanie Edwards are left. Ryan asks them both to stand. “You are the bottom two this week.” Ryan tells us. The bottom two what, Ryan? Notice he never mentions the word “vote.” It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Stephanie is probably going home–a victim of vote splitting between the 3 R&B singers and 2 lackluster performances in a row.
Chris Richardson? Just thrown into the mix for drama. No way this kid is actually in the bottom. Not after Tuesday night’s personal best performance and tons of praise from the judges. It’s widely rumored that the producers get creative with the bottom three for the sake of good TeeVee. They don’t screw with who actually gets eliminated–but everyone else is fair game.
Poor Chris looks shocked.
After the break, there’s a shot of a poster that says, “Clay Aiken hurt me” with a little frownie-face. I won’t ask. Last week’s big “American Idol Challenge” winner is sitting in the audience. Let’s say hi! to her. This week’s dumb question for Cash! And! Prizes!: “Which of these American Idols has recently been cast to star in “The Color Purple” on Broadway? Is it a. Fantasia? b. Paris Bennett? c. Vonzell Solomon? Zzzzzz.
Ryan reminds the audience about the BIG Idol charity event “Idol Gives Back.” Ryan sends out a message to corporate America: “We need you! Does YOUR company want to be involved in this great night? If you are interested in making a corporate donation, send an email to: email@example.com.” And that’s tonight’s public service announcement.
The forever mod and spritely Lulu is next, singing her hit, “To Sir With Love.”
And now it’s time to eliminate a contesant.
After the break, Stephanie and Chris are standing center stage. Stephanie, who probably has accepted the fact she’s a goner is smiling. Chris looks like he’s about to crap his pants. The camera cuts back to the kids, who are all holding hands as if they are hoping…what? That maybe nobody has to go home?
“After 30 million votes, Chris, ” intones Ryan, “You are staying.” No kidding. I am so NOT shocked. Chris hugs Stephanie before he goes back to his seat. Stephanie’s goodbye film package finishes, and it’s time to go. No time for a sing out.
In another season, Stephanie might have gone deep into the competition. But she was competing with similar singers–Melinda, LaKisha and to an extent, Jordin–who outshone her every week. Tonight’s elimination was completely predictable.
Stephanie had an incredible amount of poise for a 19 year old–and a great fashion sense too. She needs to work on developing a unique style. But she can work that out. She isn’t even out of her teens yet.
The kids will celebrate tonight. We’ll see them all on tour this summer…