Dancing With The Stars Season 9 – Top 16 – It’s Girls Night

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More low scores tonight from the judges–starting off with low expectations seems to be a strategy for the first week of DWTS Season 9.

Sorry, but the girls SMOKED the guys tonight.   Model, Joanna Kupra and her partner Derek Hough are at the top of the leaderboard with 34 points.   Joanna wowed the judges with a sexy salsa and an elegant Foxtrot.

Tying for second place–Mya and Dmitry and…wait for it…Kelly Osbourne and her partner Louis Van Amstel!

R&B singer, Mya took dance lessons as a child, and she’s got some natural musicality.   Kelly Osbourne shocked the judges and wowed the crowd with her dance moves.   She can dance, and if she keeps it up, could make the finals. Ozzie in the audience every week could also get her some votes.

I expected, for some reason, that Debi Mazur could dance.   She can’t. She neither has the moves, and as firey as her personality is on screen, it does not translate to the dance floor.

Worst of the night: Macy Gray, whose dancing was totally in the WTF category.   Her video package hinted that she said yes to the gig, cause her mom is a big fan of the show.   Macy’s quirky personality always shines through, but she doesn’t seem very interested in dancing.   I predict she and Ashley Hamilton will be the first to go.

It’s the girls turn tonight to take the dance floor.

But first, the female dance partners perform a routine to “She’s a Lady”.   The girls remembered to do their pointy pose! – VIDEO

Video and Live Blog after the JUMP…

Macy Gray doddering down the stairs? Maybe not a good sign.   What is she doing on this show anyway? What happened to her music career?   Can we expect Adele on this show in 5 years? Yikes.

Debi Mazar and Maksim Chmerkovskiy – Salsa – Maksim says Debi has zero attention span.   Debi is stiff and nervous.   Somehow, I expected her to be more of a firecracker out on the dance floor.   Len says her hips were missing, albiet full of energy. Bruno likes how she works her “bazooms”, but she lost her timing. Carrie Ann says she   lacks character from her face to her moves. Carrie Ann – 6, Len – 5,   Bruno –   5 – 16 Relay – 6TOTAL – 22 – – 1-800-868-3409 – VIDEO

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas, Jr. –   Viennese Waltz – Melissa is determined to conquer the waltz. She’s a little nervous dancing with the reigning champion.   OMG they’re dancing to Magic Rainbowz! Yay!!! Melissa is also stiff and clomping around the dance floor.   Bruno calls it prim and proper and says it lacked magic.   He calls out her posture. Carrie Ann says she created a few moments, but she was choppy. Len hated the start, but thought her hold was good, but   says her feet were no good. Carrie Ann – 6 Len – 6 Bruno – 6 – 18 – Relay-   6TOTAL – 241-800-868-3410. – VIDEO

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin – Viennese Waltz – She’s a tap dancer, and an R&B singer who used to have hits. Crowd is reacting. She’s got musicality and rhythm..   She’s good. Standing o! Carrie Ann says “Way to set the bar”.   She loved her lines and turns. Len calls them on some diversions from the style.   Bruno bitches at Len for being so anal. Len says Dmitry let Mya down by not dancing a true Viennese waltz.   Bruno thinks she’s full of artistry–fantastic. Fight, fight! Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 5, Bruno – 8 – 21 – Relay – 10TOTAL – 311-800-868-3411. – VIDEO

Kathy Ireland and Tony Dovolani –   Salsa – Kathy was a model back in the olden days.   She says she’s not coordinated.   Her feet look great, but she’s also stiff–no hip action at all. Len says she has the potential, but thought it lacked energy, and was far too careful.   Bruno called her out on her lack of hip action and sex. Carrie Ann likes her salsa, but also called her out on her hips. – Carrie Ann – 6, Len -5, Bruno – 5 – 16 – Relay – 4 – TOTAL – 201-800-868-3412. – VIDEO

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo – Salsa   – Natalie, Olympic swimmer, has wicked concentration face.   FINALLY SOME HIPS. HOORAY. She could have smiled more. Bruno says she has some fantastic shapes, but he noticed that she freezes in the middle. Carie Ann called her a diamond in the rough, but criticized her timing.   Len thought it could have been sexier. Carrie Ann –   7, Len – 6,   Bruno – 6 – 19 – Relay – 8TOTAL – 271-800-868-3413. – VIDEO

Macy Gray and Jonathan Roberts – Viennese Waltz – OMG. Jonathan thinks he’s going to be sticking around for awhile.   He travels to Germany to rehearse with her on tour.   Macy dances like an old person. That wasn’t very good, but at least she’s got personality.   Carrie Ann called it fascinating.   Len likes her charm and vulnerability.   Bruno calls her endearing. “You touch peoples hearts, ” says Bruno. Carrie Ann – 6 Len – 4 – Bruno – 5 – 15 – Relay – 4TOTAL – 191-800-868-3414. – VIDEO

Joanna Kupra and Derek Hough – Salsa –   She’s a young model.   Cat fight with Kathy Ireland! Heh. I think Len will be pleased–finally a sexy salsa with some musicality.   Lots of hip action.   She’ll go further than models usually do in this competition.   Len says, “At last a hot smoking salsa.”     Bruno says, “what a specimen, sexy–what a salsa should be.   Carrie Ann thought it was hot. Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 24 – Relay – 10TOTAL – 34 –   1-800-868-3415. – VIDEO

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – Viennese Waltz – Ha ha. Look, there’s Ozzie. Oh wow.   Kelly is actually really good. She’s very graceful. I wonder if she took dance lessons when she was a little girl?   Sharon and Ozzie are in the audience. She’s hugging her dad. Her mom is crying. Bruno “I cannot believe my eyes…grace elegance, impeccable style.”   Carrie Ann says, “That was beautiful, chills up and down my spine.” But, Carrie Ann had to dock her–Kelly’s foot left the ground.     Len says, “Best Viennese waltz of the night.”   Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 8, Bruno – 8 – 23 – Relay – 8TOTAL – 311-800-868-3416. – VIDEO

The relay dances are next.   Each couple will perform one after another, they’ll be ranked from 4-1 and scored 4-10 accordingly.

Relay – Foxtrot – Natalie and Alec, Kathy and Tony, Joanna and Derek, Debi and Maks – Natalie and Joanna were best.   I’m surprised that Debi isn’t better–she’s so stiff and awkward. Carrie Ann liked Joanna.   Len liked Natalie, he complimented Maks. Bruno tells Debi to control her energy.

Len announces the scores:     Kathy – 4, Debi – 6, Natalie– 8, Joanna – 10. – VIDEO

Relay –   Cha cha cha – Macy and Jonathan,   Melissa and Mark,   Mya and Dmitry, Kelly and Louis – More doddering around from Macy. But she’s got attitude! Melissa can do a split.   Mya rocks. Kelly looks like she’s having fun. Len likes Mya’s hips, calls Kelly first class. Bruno also loves Mya and Kelly. Macy will score the lowest.   Carrie Ann liked Kelly’s legs.

Len announces the scores: Macy – 4, Melissa – 6, Kelly – 8, Mya – 10 (I guessed that right!) – VIDEO

About mj santilli 33672 Articles
Founder and editor of mjsbigblog.com, home of the awesomest fan community on the net. I love cheesy singing shows of all kinds, whether reality or scripted. I adore American Idol, but also love The Voice, Glee, X Factor and more!