ETA: I just added the Wright Kids and Queen Emily videos…
The talent starts NOW! O rly?
Ten of the Top 20 vie for spots in the Top 10. Got that? First we find which acts from Wednesday night’s show made it through to the Top 20. Oh, there’s a results special on Thursday. I’m crying now.
A big bright star is going to show up with a special announcement sez Jerry Springer. Oh, goody!
Results from last week:
- Nuttin But Strings and Indiggo take the stage. Gee I wonder who is safe? Nuttin But Strings advance to the next round
- Flambeaux and Kaitlyn Maher take the stage. BITCH PLEASE. The fire eater is going DOWN. Kaitlyn Maher advances to the next round
- Dorea Saunders and Eli Mattson take the stage. BWAHAHAHAHA. Eli Mattson advances to the next round
- The Dallas Desperados Dancers and Donald Braswell take the stage….
Oh geez. Commercial. Oh Noes. The suspense is killing me. NOT.
- The Dallas Desperados Dancers and Donald Braswell takes the stage. Donald Braswell advances to the next round
- Bryan Cheatham and the Tapping Dads came in 5th andf 6th, so the judges choose. Piers has to decide between the “cruise ship crooner” and “Fred Astair’s worst nightmare.” Piers chooses Bryan Cheatham. Sharon picks the Tapping Dads. Hoff breaks the tie. He choose the Tapping Dads. The Tapping Dads advance to the next round.
More Recap and VIDEOS after the JUMP…
Going on to the Top 10: Nuttin But Strings, Kaitlyn Maher, Eli Mattson, Donald Braswell and the Tapping Dads.
The Cadence – The cute drummer boys are back! They think Sharon is their toughest critic. They want to impress her. How about biting the head off of a bat? That might do it. They drum to the riff of “You’ve Really Got Me”. They throw in some acrobatics, but the drumming itself is still kind of boring. Piers says, “You guys listen to what we tell you…tonight for the first time I saw an act that could play in Vegas.” Sharon says, “Guys, you’ve come a long way…I know you’re going to come back next week…I want even more attitude.” Hoff says, “I’VE been your biggest critic…but tonight you proved me wrong.” Eh, whatever. I still think the boys are cute, but boring.
Queen Emily – She sings “Hero” by Mariah Carey, and she belts her heart out. Not bad. Piers says, “that was a big brave song…when you wail, you wail!” Sharon says, “I really enjoyed the way you paced your song…I can’t wait until the final so I can hear you sing a whole song.” Hoff says, “I’m so glad we’re on this ride with you, ’cause you’re going straight to the top.”
The Wright Kids – The youngest kid appears to be the spokesperson for the group. Hm. Up the cute factor! They are a bluegrass group normally, but they’ve switched up to pop for the competition. Tonight they sing “Rockin’ Robin”. The sister doesn’t add much, but the boys, in leather jackets wielding their instruments–one of them is playing a bass twice as big as he is–shoot the cuteness factor into the stratosphere. Piers says, “Each week I see you guys I think it’s your last week…this week is the best I’ve seen you.” Sharon says, “great confidence, you owned the stage tonight…I can’t wait to see what you do next week.” Hoff says, “You took the stage like a pro…you can headline Vegas!” Really Hoff? Keep your hands off the hamburgers!
The James Gang – Even with all the mistakes, I think I liked the crazy magic act from last week better. This performance of “Hit the Road Jack” was pretty straightforward and dull. The vocals were off, they sounded a bit breathless. Piers thought they were off. Sharon thinks they’ve gone backwards rather than forward since their first appearance. Hoff says, “If you come back, it has to be tighter.” Yeah, I don’t know what’s up, but this performance wasn’t very good.
Daniel Jens – Should Daniel reenlist in the army or try to live his dream? Decisions, decisions. What’s that he’s singing? Eep! Reenlist Daniel…cause your singing does not cut it. The verse is unintelligible and the chorus is pitchy. Ohhh, Piers just buzzed him. Piers says “I like you personally, but I don’t want to patronize you. Compared to the other singers, you aren’t in their league.” Piers advises him to reenlist. For some reason, this pisses off Sharon. She thinks he did really well. Sharon tells him he’s likable and that it doesn’t matter that his singing isn’t the best. Piers tries to interrupt her, but she cuts him off. Fake fight! She tells Daniel not to reenlist. “You’ve done your time, ” she says. Hoff babbles on about having heart. He says, “You move me.” Eh. I think he’s got neither great vocal chops, or charisma.
The Zooperstars – Thank Jeebus for comic relief! The Zooperstars are like a bunch of retarded sports mascots. OMG this is ridiculous. Why am I laughing? This is so incredibly stupid. I mean, really really stupid. I hope they make the Top 10. Piers says, “I don’t know what you’re still doing in this competition.” Piers asks America to please stop voting for them. Sharon says, “You don’t make me laugh anymore…it’s time for you to go.” When one of the giant puppets shows her his ass, Sharon says, “My ass is bigger than yours.” Hoff says, “The kids really love you…but I think you’ve reached the end of the road.” The Zooperstars are getting the bums rush! I may vote for them tonight.
Neal E. Boyd – Boo hoo hoo. The sob story continues. His mom couldn’t be in the audience last week because they couldn’t afford it. His hometown raised the money this week, so she’s here so he can dedicate his song, about a mother’s love, to her. Oh dear God, this song actually is about mothers. Could this be any more saccharine and cheaply sentimental? I’m seriously beginning to hate this guy. And his “Opera” singing isn’t all that. Oh, let’s point out the crying mama in the audience! Piers tells his mother, “We’re developing a major talent here…he’s got a brilliant chance of winning America’s Got Talent.” Oh God, noooo. Sharon says, “You’re HOT tonight…you look like a superstar…you sang like a superstar…I loved the song choice.” Ooooh, Hoff is so impressed with Neal, he dashed off a few notes before his performance. OMG Hoff’s mother is here tonight, too. “Fantastic job, ” says Hoff.
Jessica Price – She’s one of two blond singers in this competition, and I’m having trouble keeping them straight. This one is meeker and sweeter than the other one. Sharon buzzes her before she even starts to sing. Having a Paula moment Sharon? She sings “Bubbly” by Colbie Callait. She looks and sounds nervous. So nervous, her eyes are bugging out of her head, like she’s afraid she’s going to explode. Awkward! She gets buzzed again. Really, she sounds very amateur tonight. Piers says he buzzed her because he thought she was a bit cheesy, like a toothpaste commercial. Sharon says, “I thought you could have put more sassiness in it. You still have a long way to go with the confidence.” Then she says something to her about taking her clothes off. Huh? Hoff gives her a big pep talk before sending her on her way. “I think you’ll be coming back next week.”
Extreme Dance FX – They’re doing something in clogging that’s never been done before! I can’t wait. Zz. The kids clog away. And actually, they’re pretty good–very polished and precise. What’s the part that’s never been done before? I must have missed that part. Piers singles out the leader of the group, “You’ve got more hunger in you than I’ve seen in any other contestant. And the others are coming with you.” Sharon says, “I think you are a sexier version of Riverdance…you’re going all the way to Vegas.” Hoff compliments them, but says, “I want to hear your shoes hit the floor…if you come back bring an attitude.”
Terry Fator, last year’s winner, is the Giant Star who’s back to make an announcement. I knew it was him! He’s got a five year contract in Vegas. There’s going to be some sort of show in Vegas on October 17. And, Terry will be back tomorrow to perform.
Paul Salos – A very old guy who impersonates Frank Sinatra. He’s a mission pilot back home. That interests me more than his Sinatra impersonation. He sings “Come Fly With Me”. I still don’t think he sounds that much like Sinatra. I’m baffled by the producers giving the pimp spot to celebrity impersonators of middling talent–like that crappy Elvis impersonator from last week. Piers says, “I’m going to level with you…I thought that was a weaker performance…it wasn’t the chemistry I’m used to.” Paul says he wasn’t hearing the music through the monitors. Sharon says, “I prefer you doing the Sinatra with just the grand piano.” Hoff says, “The chemistry wasn’t there, but the voice still is…you did a great job.”