A fitting end to the American Idol Live tour! Our very own Sparkle’s The Clown was there and writes a recrap (NOT A TYPO) of the very last North American tour date. Check out the goodness below. Make sure to click the video and photo links!
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Welcome to Sparkles’ lucky concert recrap #13. And no, that’s not a typo. Recrap stands for crappy recap and Sparkles is the original innovator of such things since Season 5. Way back in July I recrapped the second show of the tour in Chicago. And now here I am again at the final show in Milwaukee. So what’s changed? Did I again attend the Meet & Greet? Did I spend $6 for a Diet Coke? Did I attempt to dry hump Phillip’s leg? Answers to all of these questions and much more on this very special episode of “Here Comes Sparkles Boo Boo.”
Attending the concert with me this time are my friends who are big American Idol fans just like me. Let’s just call them Kenny & Collette, shall we? Collette is a FilAm (Filipino American) who is a big Jessica fan but she also liked Phillip. As for Kenny, he tags along because it makes Collette happy. When I asked them about going to the concert, Collette said to get seats in the first or second row. I told her I was a clown not a magician but damned if I didn’t find seats for them in the second row center section with a single seat for me in front of them in row one (technically row GGG at this venue). So it looks like if the crowd gets bored with the concert they can gaze upon Sparkles’ shakin’ booty in the very first row. And that makes everyone a winner.
THE VENUE: The recently renamed BMO (pronounced BeeMoe) Harris Bradley Center is where a lot of concerts are held in Milwaukee. Also the Bucks play basketball there. I’ve seen a lot of shows here in my day and it’s a nice place. We got there early to take some photos outside etc. We were hanging out by the Ritz/Chips Ahoy truck when three people walked up and opened up the back. Curious clown that Sparkles is, I just had to snoop around and see what was inside. That damn truck was loaded floor to ceiling with boxes and boxes of Chip Ahoy cookies. I asked one of the women if there were going to be free samples and she assured me there would be some after the show (we never did get any though). I told her I recognized her from being in charge of the Meet & Greet in Chicago and that she must have had a busy summer. She responded that she thought she must have aged 10 years in the last 3 months. Dealing with all of those looney fans was a challenge I’m sure. I asked if there would be any shenanigans for the final show and she said “rumor has it that there will be.” I guess she was right because I saw her onstage with many others during “Proud Mary.”
Next we went to wait in line inside the indoor doorway area for the venue doors to open. It wasn’t long when I saw the people from the Meet & Greet inside going to the merchandise table. They all had programs so I knew they were from the M&G and I remember being funneled right to the merch table in Chicago. Then I saw a couple without programs walk out from inside the venue and into our area and go to the Will Call window. They got tickets and wristbands and then stood kind of off to the side. When the doors opened to let us inside, they stood there waiting, not skipping in line to get in. When I got up to them I said they could go ahead of me because they looked like important people. The guy chuckled and said that no, they really weren’t. But I knew better because they were Phillip’s parents. And no, I didn’t mention anything about dry humping Phillip’s leg (refer to Chicago recrap).
CONCESSIONS: I watched Kenny & Collette eat hot dogs as I’ve given up processed foods with sodium nitrates, dextrose and corn syrup. But I love me some aspartame so I got my usual Diet Coke for $4.
THE CROWD: the crowd was definitely less lively than Chicago. Overall, a bit older I would say too. And Chicago was sold out and this show didn’t seem to be. It is a bigger venue though so perhaps the actual number of tickets sold were about the same. Sparkles is a friendly sort so I chatted up the folks sitting around me. Behind me were a couple in their 60’s who had driven 4 hours from Iowa. They had seen some of the previous season tours and I noticed that they had purchased a program. Their fave was Skylar. On one side of me was a couple in their 30’s who I’ll call Mr. & Mrs. Apple because they drove about 2 1/2 hours from Appleton, WI. When they first sat down in the front row Mr. Apple said he was peeved because he had forgotten their binoculars at the hotel. What a wise guy. Mrs. Apple’s fave was Joshua and she even got him to notice her and wave during one song. The only annoying thing about them is that they sometimes talked loudly during the concert and I can sometimes hear them on my videos. On the other side was a group of 5 or so and when I asked the guy sitting directly next to me who his fave was he said he never saw the show this season. He was only there because someone had to have surgery and couldn’t attend. He cheered here & there (I remember hearing him during EVP and Joshua) and he sang along to “Piano Man” and the Adele songs.
THE PERFORMANCES: And now I will give you my thoughts about each Idol in the order they were eliminated because the performance order is kind of jumbled up. Seriously, they should have hired Steve Jones to announce at the beginning of the concert that they would be performing “in no particular order.” Which reminds me, note to self: remember not to waste your time watching the second season of “The X Factor” And don’t even get me started on how lame “The Voice” is. Anyway, I said pretty much everything I wanted to say in the Chicago recrap but here are a few extra thoughts.
ERIKA VAN PELT: Erika got a great response from the crowd. Definitely the best from a 10th place finisher since I’ve been going to the concerts. As always, she sounded great and she really is a great performer who seems to love what she’s doing.
HEEJUN HAN: I was never a big fan and I thought he should really be thankful for making the tour. I didn’t like his solo song but he was a part of “Party Rock Anthem” which I thought was one of the highlights.
DEANDRE BRACKENSICK: One solo song from Deandre was just right for me. He really did a great job on all of the back up singing and dancing as well as on “Party Rock Anthem” with Heejun and his girlfriend Jessica.
COLTON DIXON: Colton was definitely a fan favorite. There were a lot of Colton shirts and signs in the crowd. I’m still not crazy about that Switchfoot song. I actually preferred his original song. Good luck to him on his upcoming iTunes releases.
ELISE TESTONE: Elise was my fave female singer of the season. She sounded as great as she had in Chicago. I hope she gets to make a CD. I’m not promising I’ll buy it but I will check it out and if I like it I will lay some cash down for it.
INTERMISSION: Sparkles isn’t going anywhere. She will be spending the entire intermission relaxing in her adult diaper while she watches everyone else running for the restrooms. So if you happen to spot Sparkles at intermission with that faraway look in her eye you’ll know that she isn’t bored. No, she is simply making a liquid deposit into her “panty bank.”
SKYLAR LAINE: I was a little disappointed in Skylar at the Chicago Meet & Greet. She was very aloof and never talked or looked up at my pasty white clown face. But she really redeemed herself in Milwaukee. When the concert started I stood up for “Sing” but no one else did. I usually follow the crowd so as not to bring attention to myself when I’m doing video so I sat down. I’m especially careful during the first song when I’m unsure how security will act. I actually found out later from Collette that the people behind her were yelling at me to sit down but I never heard them. Anyway, when Skylar & Colton came center stage to welcome everyone to the concert she yelled at everyone to stand up and they did. And thankfully I was able to stand the rest of the show. So thank you Skylar. As for her set, I’m not a fan of most country music but she does perform with energy and Sparkles always appreciates that.
HOLLIE CAVANAGH: Hollie is a real cutie. I especially liked all of the Jollie interactions. When she came out during the final group song, Erika kind of fanned at Hollie’s eyes like she had been crying. Aw, that’s so sweet. I’m sure she’ll miss Joshua as they really seemed like bff’s.
JOSHUA LEDET: Joshua was one of my favorites on the show and I really liked his set when I saw them in Chicago. Because this was the final show, there were some added things like Hollie draping him with a cape like James Brown when he gets to the most intense part of “Man’s World.” While fun for those who attend multiple shows or watch videos, I felt that it diminished the power of his performance. I was really glad that I saw him in Chicago the 2nd night of the tour because it was truly magical. I don’t usually buy Idol related CDs (because they’re crap) but I will check his out & if I like it, I’ll buy it.
JESSICA SANCHEZ: Whenever I hear Jessica sing I can’t help but sing along, all the while making those crazy Jennifer Holliday faces. I may have gone a little overboard though because someone had called the paramedics about a possible stroke victim in the front row. As for her performance, I thought Jessica sounded even better than at the Chicago show. I really liked “Proud Mary” in Chicago, better without all of the people goofing around onstage like at this show. But it looked like everyone was having fun at the final US show.
PHILLIP PHILLIPS: Phillip seemed to talk much clearer and louder to the crowd than at the Chicago show & I could actually understand what he was saying between songs. I’m glad because he was funny and seemed very loose and comfortable. I noticed that he changed the lyrics during “Nice And Slow” to say “I gotta real pretty, pretty little thing from Milwaukee.” After “Home,” Phillip tossed his guitar pick into the crowd and it sailed over my head and into the third row. But a second or so later I felt a “ping” on my back & I knew it was his pick. I looked on the floor but it was totally dark in there so I turned my attention back to the stage for the final group song. After the lights went up I lifted up the seat to my chair and there was the pick, just where I thought it might be. It must have bounced off of the hands of the people a few rows back who were trying to catch it. Mr. Apple next to me said “oh, you found it. They’re really looking for it” and he motioned to the dozen or so people searching the floor in the third row. They were moving everything and even looking in their soda cups and dumping out their half empty boxes of popcorn. I said “let’s not tell them” as I put the pick deep into my pocket and quickly walked away so as not to be mobbed.
HIJINKS: Here are the hijinks that I noticed for the final show (you can see them on my videos). All night the camera guys wore various different wigs like long red hair and a curly blond one. The stage guy who brings out the microphone stand was wearing a skeleton costume (I think I also saw this at the Season 9 final concert). During “Party Rock Anthem” all of the other Idols came out to dance, even Phillip who ran out to do the part when they turn their backs to the audience and shake their booties. During “Proud Mary” various Idols, family members and crew members came out to dance. When Joshua gets down on his knees during “Man’s World,” Hollie and another guy wearing a cowboy hat came out to give him the James Brown cape treatment. Phillip was looking to his left and laughing during “Somebody That I Used To Know” but I couldn’t see what he was looking at. All of the Idols came out to sing back up during “Home.” During the final group song some of them came out in a different order when the names are called (Skylar came out when they announced Colton so Colton came out when they announced Skylar etc.).
COLLETTE AND KENNY’S TAKE: Collette loved her fave Jessica, of course. She remarked on how tiny she is and how she has such a big voice for being such a little girl. Besides Jessica, Collette thought that Erika and Elise had the best voices. She also repeated several times how beautiful Elise is in person. I was a little surprised because during the season Collette often visited the “scary boards” and got into that fierce Jessica fandom where they pretty much insult everyone else. At that time, Collette referred to Erika & Elise as the “old women” on the show but I’m glad the concert set her straight. She thought Phillip was okay but he doesn’t sing the type of music that she listens to. Unlike me, she likes the PGPG (pretty girl pretty voice) better than the WGWG (white guy with guitar). Her fave guy of the night was actually Colton. As for Kenny, he said he liked whatever his wife liked.
It’s time for the ceremonial flinging of the dirty diaper in the parking lot after the show! So I rip it off, raise it high above my head, twirl it several times and let it fly. After sailing about 25 feet it ended up on the top of a van with Illinois plates. The thought of that van carrying that foul smelling nappie, oozing and dripping with Sparkles’ DNA all the way to Chicago and perhaps beyond makes Sparkles smile. And laugh her pants off. Literally. But that’s mainly because Sparkles likes to remove her pants any chance she gets.
So that’s pretty much how it all went down. I’d recommend that you see the concert but since this was the last show that train has already left the station for the Philippines. And now there’s only one thing left for you to do and that is to leave a comment. Although Sparkles is usually engrossed with the sound of her own voice (as well as all those other voices in her head) this is one of the few times that Sparkles is actually interested in what you have to say. So you really should embrace this opportunity and leave a comment. If you are gracious enough to do so, Sparkles promises to click “like” to ensure that your comment to “like” ratio holds steady. My “like” to comment ratio has been raised to 8.8 since my last recrap and my lifelong goal of hitting double digits is actually within reach. But the best thing ever is when a lurker registers and posts their very first comment. The Chicago recrap had two newbies (shout out to “FromAway” and”Amy”) and I’m hoping we get at least one more. Just don’t be a fan war whore because rolling my eyes gives me a terrible headache. And never, ever, correct my Spanish. Or my grammar because Sparkles ain’t no college grad. But hopefully what I lack in proper punctuation and grammar I make up for in the sweet art of storytelling. Oh, and make sure you include my name “Sparkles” in your comment because my giant ego feeds upon such things. See you all next year because apparently there will be a Season 12 and you better believe Sparkles will be tearing herself away from the mirror for at least several hours a week to watch. Until then, Arrivederci! (that’s “see ya” for those of you who don’t speak Spanish).
PHOTOS (taken by Kenny/Collette):
American Idols 2012 Milwaukee :: American Idols 2012 Milwaukee picture by Sparkledonia – Photobucket
VIDEOS (entire concert):
