Final Four Foxes
As it turns out, Dela’s never-ending mirror message was done to deliberately mess with Darienne. It’s spelled out in the message itself that her purpose was to make Darienne clean and clean and clean… It’s too bad we don’t get a shot of Darienne slaving away with the crew turning out the lights and mopping the floor. That would have been funny.
Bianca congratulates Adore on her win. Adore is more surprised than anyone to have won a sewing challenge. With the exception of Courtney Act.
“Are they seeing what I’m seeing?” Courtney asks, her voice going higher and higher. “She was just wearing a tutu with some sparkles on it.” Says the queen who was wearing a bra with a red shawl pinned to it.
Courtney concludes that Bianca took second place simply because she didn’t do something new for the extravaganza look. Which is fair, but the show tries to build it into Courtney being bitchy, and Darienne sensing an opportunity.
RuPaul’s video image congratulates them on being the Top Four and informs them that the only thing standing “between you and the crown is you.” Then Michelle Visage comes in, declaring “It’s me! BenDeLaCreme! I’m back!” She explains that they will be doing the traditional video shoot, and having lunch with Mama Ru herself. The video will be the story of a model who sells her should to gain fame. Which is exactly the same story as Shade: The Rusical.
However, she warns that, at the end of the video shoot, one of them will be going home.
Jamal Sims arrives to teach them “Sissyography,” a form of dance that involves lots of body rolls. Adore and Courtney pick it up easily. Bianca and Darienne do not. Bianca uses humor to deflect her lack of skill, while Darienne overthinks.
The first to have lunch with RuPaul is Courtney Act. She asks why Courtney should win, and Courtney rattles off her resume: She can sing, dance, act. “What about the emotional, vulnerable side?” RuPaul asks. Courtney replies that she’s focused on the work. RuPaul gently reminds her that we can use more humanity, and says she can see that in Courtney’s eyes. But back in the Werk Room, Courtney still doesn’t completely understand the criticism she got. However, she’s not going to worry about. She’s happy working on her wig.
Darienne is second for the lunch. She talks about her past. She was “invited” to leave her home at eighteen by her mother, who decidedly did not approve of Darienne’s lifestyle. This is the kind of trauma that Laganja claimed to have because her mother doesn’t call her every day now.
Back to the Werk Room, where Courtney is trying to decide which one of her fabulous outfits to wear. Bianca is trying to decide between a reasonable two looks, while Courtney keeps running in and out, with more and more ridiculously expensive things. Meanwhile, Adore is sitting like Cinderella in the ashes. But she interviews that you don’t need fancy things to be a star.
During Bianca’s lunch, we learn that she had a lot of help from older queens when she started doing drag. She’s somewhat astonished that she’s now become the mentor to others.
Adore tells RuPaul how much she loves her mother. Naturally, RuPaul asks about Adore’s dad. Go for the weakness, Ru! Adore tears up, describing how her dad would say mean things when she was seven. RuPaul calls that hurt a broken bone, and says that it heals stronger than the rest of the bone. She urges Adore to keep fighting for her mother’s sake.
Now we watch the group choreography filming. Jamal scolds Adore and Darienne for losing sync with the others. “That’s not $100,000 sissyography.”
They all have to do solo dance bits. On a moving treadmill. Bianca looks good, but interviews that, what with the moving ground, high heels, and wind machine, it’s like being in Hurricane Katrina all over again. Courtney really goes for the performance, to the point where she looks demented. Adore looks amazing in her dance and does this great move where she kisses her finger and then touches herself. Darienne is last and she copies Adore’s move — to the sound of a scratching record, and jaw-drop by Adore.
Next up, acting scenes! There are two. The first is with RuPaul as a (male) photographer, who keeps barking out ridiculous direction to innocent fresh model “Sissy” until she collapses in a frustrated tantrum. Adore is the most convincingly fresh and naive, but everyone is good. Mathu Andersen, who usually scowls and makes cutting remarks during these video shoots, is all smiles.
In the second scene, Sissy is not a drunken, jaded mess. RuPaul plays “Charles,” her hometown lover, with a seventies porn star look, and an accent modeled for each queen’s place of origin. Bianca uses her own New Orleans voice for the scene. Adore channels Anna Nicole Smith, which seems to work well. Courtney decides that “messy” means wearing glasses askew on her nose, and gluing a straw to her wig. All she really needs to do is act, you know. Darienne takes a while to get into the scene, but when Charles walks out, she goes into a great wailing tantrum, falling the floor and beating it with her fists. It’s so terrific that Charles comes back in and gives her a second chance. Mathu looks impressed.
Another Werk Room interlude, where the queens compare their first impressions of each other with the deep love they have developed. Courtney challenges Bianca to say a sentence without turning it into a joke, but that’s not Bianca’s style.
And it’s time for the runway. There are no guest judges, just Michelle, Santino, and RuPaul in the most barbie-like outfit yet.
Adore wears a short, Peter-Pan dress that’s covered in big sequins that look like mermaid scales. It’s really cute. Bianca is wearing blue again, but in a style that’s more youthful. Courtney, for all the fabulous looks she modeled in the Werk Room, is in a rather ordinary dress with sequins over nude illusion fabric. Darienne is wearing a long blue dress. It’s her same silhouette, but with fringe instead of sequins.
Adore and Bianca get unqualified praise from the judges. Courtney was too frenzied in her solo dance, but Michelle says she wouldn’t change a thing in Courtney’s look. Courtney falls down in surprise. Michelle says Darienne flatlined in her second scene, but then was amazing when she got into her tantrum.
RuPaul asks each queen to state why they should win. Adore says she should because she’s a superstar and — sorry about it — the others just aren’t. She promises to do RuPaul proud. Bianca makes a moving statement about how transformative the competition has been for her. Courtney says she’s Australia’s Drag Superstar. She wants to carry that torch in America. Darienne makes the humble statement, saying that if she wins, it proves that anyone can reach their dreams.
There is a four-way lip-synch to “Sissy that Walk” (RuPaul). It’s interesting to see Bianca and Courtney lip-synch for the first time, but there’s no way to show everyone well, with four people moving at once. At the end, RuPaul picks Darienne to go home. It makes sense, given the entire season, but less sense in the context of this final challenge.
Darienne tears up a little, but makes a nice statement about the friends she’s gained. Then she leaves “like a Diva” by pushing Courtney aside as she strides out. She likens the experience to going to Oz, and having the whole adventure, but not getting anything from the Wizard in the end.
Not a lot of drama in the Untucked Lounge. The final four grab their drinks (rum and cola?) and drink. They state the obvious: One of them is going home and three will be left Adore talks about her connection to Bianca.
Courtney thinks Darienne is the winner of today’s challenge and finally thinks Darienne could win the title. Darienne talks about being too depressed to buy toothpaste. Bianca makes a crack, and Darienne bites back, “The only thing keeping this couch from falling over from my fat ass is your huge [bleeping] ego.”
“Go on with your toothpaste story,” Bianca says, rolling her eyes.
Darienne continues with her story, which is that she, unlike other plus-sized queens, manages to pull sex kitten glamour out of herself, instead of relying on fat humor. (Note: Not to knock on Darienne, who was terrific this week, but Delta Work despised fat jokes, Roxxxy Andrews and Madame LaQueer didn’t go near them, and Latrice Royale’s only foray into that area was eating chicken as Aretha Franklin.)
They then turn to Bianca and what a good person she is. Bianca doesn’t mind helping other people. It doesn’t make her look bad if they look good. She isn’t mean in real life, but she only helps people who earn her trust and respect.
They talk about their growth in the competition. Adore articulately declares that she feels… um, different. Courtney feels like she’s done her best, channeling what RuPaul said and putting it into her performance. Adore says she even took notes on what RuPaul said to others. Bianca points out that the competition is based on RuPaul’s life experiences. Bianca says, even though she is nearly as old as Darienne, she’s learning new things .
Bianca interviews that she enjoys taking the things she learned and passing them on to someone young, like Adore. But not just anyone, she feels Adore is worth it. Darienne adds that she admires Adore for having the strength to do the competition. Adore says when she is passionate, she’ll doesn’t quit. There’s no point to having meltdowns.
Darienne can’t wait to use the word “chiona” back home. Bianca thinks “Chiona” sounds like what you call your Spanish maid.
Darienne remembers how the solo dances went. She enjoyed Courtney’s “manic muppet” solo. Courtney says she danced extra hard because of her “resting on pretty” criticism.
Courtney wonders how the judges are going to determine the winner. Will it be body of work? Darienne interrupts to call Courtney shady, because Darienne’s been in the bottom more than the others. “You can be honest without being brutal,” she says.
“There is no brutally honest,” Adore exclaims. “Honest is honest!”
Courtney starts over and says, going into the last challenge, she thought Darienne was fourth. Now, she thinks Darienne is at the top. Bianca cracks that Darienne isn’t a top. Courtney doggedly continues. She feels that, although she wants to win, she couldn’t be mad if one of the others did. Because they’re all so good.
Darienne asks, “If you went home, and the other three went on, would you still feel like you deserve to be here?” Courtney agrees that she would feel angst, but thinks that they are all superstars. Adore insists that there is only one America’s Next Drag Superstar.
Darienne asks Courtney, if she thought Darienne should have gone home, who would she have replaced her with? Courtney refuses to answer the question, and then says she would have pegged Adore for top three before the last challenge. Now, she thinks Adore is fourth. Adore thinks the same about Courtney.
Bianca starts to edge away from Adore. “I’m not creating a moment,” Adore laughs. Courtney picks up her chair, chimpanzee style, pretending to throw a tantrum. Darienne agrees that Adore and Courtney did the worst at the video challenge. She adds that, even if she leaves empty-handed, she’s made strong friendships and that’s worth a lot. She would give them her home phone number and her cell phone number. Adore laughs at her for having a home phone. “You are old!”
Bianca jokes that Darienne needs a home phone to call for deliveries. Darienne pretends to make a delivery call for a dozen pizzas in an interview.
Bianca says her good-bye to everyone. She’s looking forward to the future, but if anyone else wins, she’s going to kill them. The more she insists that it’s not a joke, the more Courtney cracks up.
Adore is grateful to have met these men in dresses. She didn’t think she’d get along with a lot of drag queens, but they’ll keep in touch afterwards and party. Courtney points out that they are the only four who have shared the entire experience. They go out to meet their fate.