Are you ready for another episode of X Factor? I AM. Stick with me as I live blog tonight’s auditions.
We’re in Kansas City, MO. Oh. Britney is in her dressing room and just found out that Simon Cowell will not be able to judge due to illness (Or a nervous breakdown). Louis Walsh from the UK show will be sitting in for the boss. When it’s announced that Simon will be absent, we see a shot of the holding room cheering (CUED I’M SURE).
Rizzloe Jones – 18 – He talks about himself in the third person and describes himself as a free-style raper. Rizlo is SUPER CONFIDENT! When he announces he’s be making up a rap on the spot, LA suggests he rap about “X Factor”. Demi wants to hear about MARSHMALLOWS. And somehow, Rizlo manages to incorporate both ideas into one rap. LA likes his FLOW. He admires his bravery. “It was really good!” Louis says, “You lit up the room…I think we got a new little pop star.” Britney compares him to Vanilla Ice. Is that supposed to be a compliment? The dudes twang had Demi expecting a country singer, but she likes his vibe. It’s 4 yesses, and he’s on to the next round.
CeCe Frey– “Unchained Melody” DON’T SPELL HER NAME WRONG. She’s also having fun in the holding room messing with the competition. She tells one duo that they should be dating when they’re clearly not. Hm. Her over-confidence and all around bitchiness tells me that she’ll probably suck. CeCe has leopard spots painted on her face. She works for the Post Office, poor thing. She has no doubt that she’s going to be better than everyone backstage. She’s going to “CeCefy” Unchained Melody. What she means by that, is singing it painfully off key. LA stops her. She asks if she can sing another song, and has much better luck with “Ain’t No Other Man”. She’s definitely got a ‘tude, and the judges appear to appreciate her swagger. Voters probably won’t, however. Louis loves ambitious people with talent. “No one’s going to stop you!” he says. Britney adds, “You are a very talented young lady.” LA says, “You have attitude, passion and style. You have the X Factor.” Demi confesses to a girl crush on CeCe seems less annoying as she leaves the stage crying after she gets 4 yeses.
Britney walks into the Judges green room singing “Happy Birthday” and carrying a cake. It’s LA’s birthday! Britney proves once again that she cannot sing.
Vino Alan – 39 – “Trouble” – Has a 15 year old son. He’s auditioning for him. Vino comments that the emotions are high backstage. He performs for the military. LA asks him to take off his cap and reveal his tattoos. He’s got art all over his bald head. DEMI LOVES IT. Vino has one of those raspy throwback voices. It’s a little rough around the edges, but soulful. LA was prepared not to like it, but was surprised that he did. Louis thinks Vino has great stage presence. Britney was inspired! “It’shocked me. I thought it was really great,” says Demi. Vino gets for yesses.
Deangelo Wallace – 19 – “With you” by Chris Brown – Also talks about himself in the third person. Child. Dial it back! He has not doubt he’ll get 4 yesses. FULL CONFIDENCE IN HIMSELF. Deangelo would bye a Ferrari with his 5 million dollars. He chatters on about how he’s better than Justin Bieber. The judges seem really irritated. SING says Louis. Now they must be sorry. The chattering was better. Dude is seriously off key. The judges get up in unison and leave the auditorium. LA is backstage, irritated because he thinks Deangelo is not serious. Backstage, Deangelo theorizes that they are all afraid of his talent. He’s also convinced they are all devil worshipers. He tried to leave with his 3 thousand dollar microphone. The police were called. “I’m getting arrested” sings Deangelo as the cops put him in their car. “Bad boys bad boys…” I SMELL A PLANT.
Tate Stevens – 37 – “Anything Goes” – Tate works in asphalt. He jokes that he sings rap music. But his cowboy hat and twang says otherwise. He’s going to throw a big ass party with his 5 million dollars. Tate sings, he’s not unique but vocally, he’s got a beautiful, radio friendly tone. His easy back-porch charm makes him very marketable. His age probably won’t hurt him in the country genre. After he finishes a heartfelt perforamnce, the audience gives him a HUGE standing ovation. His little daughter cries. Aw. Demi says, “You’re so likeable and funny, and then you blew me away with your voice.” She loves country music! Louis says, “You’ve got an authentic country voice. We’ve found ourselves a country star.” Britney says, ‘You are my favorite so far.” LA says, “I’m only mad that you’ve waited so long to do this. You are the best we’ve seen in this town so far. You are a real country star.” Tate tears up as he gets 4 enthusiastic yeses from the judges. LA turns around to the crowd and says, ‘We’ve found an authentic American classic superstar in this town.”
Kansas City is done. Louis says goodbye. “Promise you’ll come back!” says LA!
We’re back in San Francisco. AND SIMON COWELL. Demi and Britney admit that they missed Simon a little.
Citizen – “Don’t Let Go” by En Vogue – A boy band. HOORAY. They are VERY VERY worried about their hair. And should they wear their collars up or down? DECISIONS DECISIONS. The self-professed HEARTHROB is particular concerned with his image. People sitting around them are giving the guys the serious side eye as they high five and do a noisy show circle. They got the moves straight out of the 90’s. Their harmonies aren’t bad. They are way beyond where One Direction began. The girls in the audience seem to like it. LA loved the song choice. He really liked it. Britney thought they totally rocked it. Demi loved the harmonies. SIMON DIDN’T GET IT. 10 years out of date, he says. Well that’s true. He says no. But it doesn’t matter, because the other 3 say yes.
More terrible, terrible groups. Oh gosh. one group butchers “Skyscraper”. Simon compares one singer to a “singing candle”. “So mean,” says Demi. “CONSTRUCTIVE,” insists Simon.
Back from commercial. A string of nos from Simon. A 14 year old girl named Amanda sings “Rumour Has it” “I hate this song,” says Simon as she butchers it. NO MORE ADELE SONGS.
Diamond White – 13 – She and her mom live together in a “shoe box apartment.” She wants her own bedroom. Shades of Rachel Crow, who wanted her own batheroom. Diamond’s father is MIA. She’s very nervous about singing for Simon. Simon tells her NOT to sing Adele. She has a look on her face like that’s exactly what she was going to sing. She performs “It’s A Man’s World” and what comes out is a very mature voice. She’s wonky, though. Pitch problems. But she’s powerful and definitely has potential. The audience loves her. “You are a diamond,” says LA, “I think that you worked that stage, you have a sparkle in your eye. You have the X Factor,” says Demi. Britney says, ‘You are amazing.” Simon says, “You just blew the rough off here. You are incredible.” 4 enthusiastic yeses.
We’re back in Austin TX!
Ally Brooke – 18 – “On My Knees” – She wants to do it all! Singing, dancing, clothing line–she wants to be as big as Beyonce. She’s almost crying before she even begins to sing. Is this a Christian song? I HOPE SO. The backing track is drowning her out. Maybe that’s why after the music stops, she continues to sing, making sure to hit a big MONEY NOTE. This is what I can do honey! Simon tells her to stop. It takes her a bit to come to. LA Says, “You have really got a special voice.” Demi thinks her voice is beautiful. Britney notes that her voice has a theatrical dynamic. Brit Brit doesn’t seem terribly enthused. Simon believes he’s looking at a future star. It’s 4 yeses.
Brandan Hassan – 16 – “Trouble” – Ohh. Very nice. He reminds me of Alex Lambert. 4 yeses for that guy.
Normani Hamilton – “Chain of Fools” – Kinda pitchy, dawg, but they like her big soulful voice.
Sister C – “Hell on Heels” – Young sister trio with lovely voices and really nice vocal control.
Jeremiah and Josh – They sing an original. It’s not very good. Britney thinks their voices are magical. “I wish you could wake me up in the morning.” However, they get 4 yeses.
Panda Ross – 42 – “Bring it on Home” – SIMON IS MY BABY DADDY! Oh boy. She just got out of the hospital. Pneumonia. I don’t have a good feeling about this. “I’m going to let America have a little piece of Panda Pie today.” Hm.Simon wonders about her name, “My mom was kinda in jail when she had me. Her cell mate was white and they came up with the name.” Yikes. Panda sings with a booming, soulful alto. The audience is on their feet. Church singer, for sure. Simon’s got a big smile on his face as she croons…just to him. She’s a character! LA says, “I can’t deny how good that was. You moved this room.” Demi says, “I think you’re so funny. Your voice is so soulful. I loved every bit of it.” “You not only have a good voice, but you are witty and hilarious,” says Britney. “You sound like a legend! I absolutely love you,” says Simon. All 4 yeses. She comes off the stage and can’t catch her breath. They call a medic who gives her oxygen. They load her up into an ambulance. “I don’t want Simon to see me like this!” she says. I think he just did.
When Simon finds out that Panda went to the hospital, he’s paranoid that Demi caught something. “You need to go into quarantine for 3 hours.” says Simon. He’s kinda serious!
Jessica Espinoza – 22 – “Nobody Knows” by Pink – She lives off the dollar menu from McDonalds. She did what she could with the little she had. Make no mistake she’s from the baaad part of town. Vocally, she’s rough, but she sings with such conviction, I believe her. She delivers with raw emotion. “You are really special,” says LA. “I feel like you have such a strong voice. It’s really deep,” says Britney. “I honestly don’t even know where to start. I believe you are amazing,” says Demi. “You dig so deeply,” adds LA. “I didn’t like it…” Simon is setting us up! “I LOVED IT. My favorite audition so far today. 4 yeses.