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Next week’s theme? The Beatles. Yes, you read that right…
Jim Carrey, in the audience dressed as Horton, begins tonight’s pimpathon for Horton Hears a Who, the new movie–from FOX, of course.
Oh yeah, GROUP SING! Over the years we’ve had the Beatles music turned into fodder for chipmunks, muzak, disco music (remember “Stars on 45″?) and any number of bland, banal ripoffs. That’s why I don’t mind the kids pointy posing to some of the Beatles’ early tunes. It can’t be worse than the Season 5 tribute to Sgt Pepper, can it?
Syesha Mercado is left. “After the vote, Syesha, you are in the Bottom 3 tonight.” She nods and joins Ryan center stage. The judges think sending Syesha home would be the wrong choice, but Simon believes she belongs in the Bottom 3. Ryan hands her the mic. The Bottom 3 will all be reprising their performances tonight. Time killer! She sings, still with the awkward pauses, but not smiling nearly as much as the night before. She screams one last note, and it’s an ear buster. Ouch.
Ford Commercial! How clever, the American Idol contestants as political candidates. Nobody has ever made that comparison before! Ahem. They sing, “The Distance” by Cake.
Kristy is left. Before Ryan even opens his mouth, she asks, “Where is my microphone?” Smart girl. Ryan says, “How do you know what’s happening?” She says, “Because I sucked big, giant donkey balls last night.” No, she doesn’t really say that, but she should have. After the blah blah run through of judges comments, Ryan finally tells her to grab the microphone. Kristy apologizes to the judges, and hopefully to all of America, “Sorry you have to hear it again.” Kristy babbles incoherently, like a confused pageant queen, when Ryan asks why she thought she was going. She sings out, and it’s not half-bad–she hits that last high note. Simon still hates it.
Katharine McPhee and 
Carrey seems to be finally done with his whoring for the night, and goes back to his seat. Ryan asks David Archuleta, Brooke White, David Hernandez and Ramiele Malubay to the center stage. David H. and Ramiele groan. “Let’s start with David…Archuletta…America voted…David, you get a chance to redeem yourself, you are safe.” Screams from the audience. David hugs Brooke, you can hear her say, “I’m so glad.” David goes back to his seat. “Now, let’s turn our attention to Brooke…America voted, you are safe, take a seat.” Brooke sits down.
Ramiele and David H. are left. Ryan goes through the judges comments with both. “…America voted, Ramiele…you are safe…which means David, you are in our Bottom 3.” Ryan asks David how he’s doing right now. How do you think, Ryan? What a stupid question. David says he’s pretty exhausted, but he’s fine, “It doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going home tonight, I’m just in the Bottom 3.” Yeah. David sings. On the verge of being eliminated, he has dialed the performance way back. It’s much less corny here. “Who is going home?” asks Ryan. Syesha and Kristy Lee join David on stage. “I’m going to send one of you to safety, one of you can relax…
“I can send one of you back to safety right now,” says Ryan, “that person coming back next week…Syesha, you are safe.” Syesha looks pained, smiles, and then goes back to her seat. “We are now left with Kristy and David…after 29 million votes, America has decided, that Kristy…” She narrows her eyes. “You are safe. David Hernandez leaves us tonight on American Idol.”
