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Tonight’s Celebrity Apprentice is super DRAMATIC. I’m hearing we won’t even believe who is eliminated. The celebrities face two tasks: creating a limited edition My New York celebrity guidebook and promoting a Walgreens walking kit.
Be back with results. Look for Montavilla’s recap later!
Debbie Gibson and Dee Snyder were fired from Celebrity Apprentice
This week, the Trump organization gives 150% by adding an extra hour. Several of the celebs give 110% on their tasks, and I’m going to have to give 300% to cut all this down to a reasonable post. Yikes!
After last week’s boardroom, Aubrey cries in the suite while everyone comforts her. Arsenio assures her that no one will think badly of her for choking up over her charity. Only Penn comforts Dayana, who is upset about losing Patricia — her only friend on the girl’s team.
Clay delivers his checks to Christie White of the National Inclusion Project and plays with adorable children in Central Park.
At Trump Tower, Trump presents the next task: To write, design, print, and sell a guide book to New York. The team that raises the most money will win. Part of the money raised will be a bonus given to the team with the “best” book, as judged by one of Trump’s buddies.
The bonus will be paid by Toshiba, who are using this task as a product placement for the Toshiba Tablet. The tablet will be used to take the photos.
Teresa steps up as Forte’s Project Manager. Aubrey thinks this will be a disaster. Dee takes on the PM position for Unanimous.
Both PMs stress that this is a money-raising task. Debbie rolls her eyes and says it’s Teresa’s responsibility then to bring in money. Dayana tries to speak up, since she’s been cited as not having ideas by the women.
Penn comes up with an idea to photograph the men on the top of a building, to highlight different New York neighborhoods. Clay objects, but Dee likes Penn’s idea. “I don’t know if it’s his entire head, but Dee’s forehead, at least, is up Penn’s ass,” Clay says.
When they take the photos, Lou fantasizes about pushing Penn off the roof. But in general, the men seem to be enjoying their task. Arsenio and Clay wrassle cutely as they write their copy. Penn ghost-writes Paul’s description of the Upper East Side, and everyone cracks up over it. I’d kind of like to read their book. It really sounds fun.
The women travel to different locations for their shots. That, combined with Dayana wanting lots of shots taken, puts the women behind schedule. Lisa starts in on what becomes a major meltdown when Dayana gives her subway directions for one location. “Oh my God,” she screams, then goes on a mostly bleeped-out rant about women who do nothing but look in a mirror, while she’s doing 90% of the work.
Meanwhile, Debbie asks about signage and Teresa says, “Yes, of course we need it.” Debbie decides that Teresa is a lousy PM because she hasn’t given Debbie a visual concept for the signage, assuming that Debbie would create one. (I think the women are feeling Patrcia’s absence right now. In the past, she was the one who handled that part of the tasks.)
The next day, the men are selling their books at a tent. Penn has called in Teller and the Blue Man Group, who arrive at the head of their own parade. Teller hands over $20,000. The Blue Man Group must do things their own way, so they pop large balloons filled with cash — which is immediately snatched up by bystanders. Clay is disgusted when most of the donation ends up disappearing into the crowd, but Penn THs that he considers it going to someone in need.
Arsenio is worried. Only one of his friends — Jay Leno — came through for him, but Leno is sending a blank check. The only problem is that it went to the wrong place and now it’s on a truck somewhere. Eventually, the woman carrying it shows up, but it’s too late to make it into the cash box. That means Arsenio has raised $0.
At the girl’s tent, Aubrey is doing great selling on the street. However, she hasn’t got big donor friends. Dayana’s friends show up with large checks. Teresa’s friends eventually show up with money as well.
In the meantime, Trump meets with Regis Philbin to judge the books. After Regis says essentially nothing, we go to a commercial for Donald Trump’s “Signature Collection” at Macy’s. I am weirded out at how much Trump acts like the SNL parody of him.
Then we get Ms. Brown M&M (the Chief Chocolate Officer), who says the secret to sales is ABC: Always Be Chocolate. Sigh. I’m so sick of her.
In the boardroom, Trump sets the women fighting. Aubrey blames Dayana for fighting with Lisa. Lisa blames Dayana for taking too many photographs. Debbie blames Teresa for not telling her what to do with the printing.
Sated, Trump tells the teams that he had Regis Philbin judge the books. The women’s book was considered better, which adds $35,000 to their total. However, the men still won by fourteen dollars! Dee wins over $300,000 for the March of Dimes.
The men leave, and the women return to fighting. After Trump has had enough of it, he asks Teresa who she will bring back. Although Aubrey brought in the least amount of money ($20,000), Teresa decides to bring back Dayana (as the “weakest link”), and Debbie, because she had to be “babysat” on the printing.
Watching from the suite, the men predict that Teresa will be fired for not bringing back Aubrey. Lisa predicts that it will be Dayana. Instead, Trump fires Debbie, since she brought in less than Dayana or Teresa, and those are his only choices.
In the limo, Debbie complains about the backstabbing and lies. “But he can’t fire me from being Debbie Gibson,” she says. “I’m good.”
When the women return to the suite, Dayana gleely reports that Teresa brought back the wrong person. Another fight starts, and Lisa worries what they’ll do tomorrow when the team must choose a new PM.
After Dee delivers his check to the March of Dimes, Trump gathers the celebrities and scolds the women for losing so much. He sends Aubrey and Teresa to Unanimous, and Penn, Dee, and Lou over to Forte. Arsenio falls to the ground in agony over the thought of having Aubrey on his team.
The task is to create a presentation for a health initiative, “Walk with Walgreens.” The teams must also design a box for the WWW membership kit. Lou takes the PM duties for Forte because he’s a “fitness guy.” Trump urges him to do some push-ups and Aubrey challenges him in her ridiculous six-inch heels. Lou wins.
With that nonsense over, Arsenio becomes the Unanimous PM. Aubrey notes that Arsenio is a lot weaker than she thought before joining his team.
Allison Sweeney (host of Biggest Loser) appears in a commercial for “Walk with Walgreens.” Synergy!
Forte brainstorms. Penn comes up with the idea of multitasking while walking, which Lisa loves. Dayana suggests bringing people up on stage during the presentation. Dee makes sure her idea is heard. Lou decides to take the role of main speaker during the presentation.
Penn has to leave, but he writes the presentation before he goes. The team comes up with a slogan “Do It While Walking” and brainstorms things you can do as you walk. Dee throws out crazy stuff like “scratching.”
When Don visits, Dee praises Dayana, which sends Lisa into a depression. She has a long conversation with Dee about hurt she felt when he did that. He is surprised that Lisa wanted to talk about feelings. Lisa expresses surprise about how far up Dayana’s ass Dee is.
Unanimous’s idea for the presentation is to do a game show. Aubrey has pretty much taken on the design of the box, stressing the need for bright colors. She wants to use headshots of the celebs, along with a quote about walking from each one. Arsenio gets upset because she chooses the worst picture of him to use.
Eric visits Unanimous and notices that Aubrey seems to be taking control away from Arsenio. “Am I talking to much?” Aubrey asks. “Yes,” Arsenio says. Aubrey moves over to the computer and pouts.
Forte’s Presentation: Lou speaks about how walking helps him as inspirational music plays. He encourages Penn to juggle while walking, which Penn does with oranges “conveniently” left onstage. Dayana walks while wearing her tiara, sash, and swimsuit. Penn almost muffs everything by calling Walgreens “Walmart,” but Dayana bounces up and down, which distracts everyone and saves the day. Then Lisa comes onstage with a tiara and sash, proclaiming that some men like a little padding, ending the presentation with a laugh.
Unanimous’s Presentation: The celebs hand out colored t-shirts to the crowd. Aubrey hands their box to Allison Sweeney (who is there to judge the task). Clay announces Arsenio, who plays game show host. Paul, Aubrey, and Teresa are contestants who have to answer true/false questions about health and walking. The crowd seems to love the format.
Allison and the Walgreens executives mull over the presentations.
After commercial, we are in the boardroom for the second time. Lou thinks Forte won the task. When Trump asks, Lisa decides that Lou was “okay” as the PM. Clay praises Arsenio as a great PM. He also thought that Aubrey had a lot of great ideas, but that Teresa was a better team player.
Trump has each team examine the box designed by the opposing team. Aubrey mutters that the Forte box is “horrible.” Clay says he finds the box boring.
When Lisa praises the Unaniomous box for its use of quotes, Aubrey delightedly pipes up, “I wrote them!” At this, Arsenio explodes with rage. “Typing is not writing!”
Cut to the Chief Chocolate Officer. Go away, Chief Chocolate Officer! You aren’t even giving a business tip this time. You’re just making puns about walking.
Back to the boardroom, where Arsenio is still ranting about Aubrey, that she’s only interested in herself, not a team player. Aubrey bats her eyelashes and tries to look innocent. “It’s so ugly,” she murmurs.
Trump asks Clay who is telling the truth, Arsenio or Aubrey. Clay agrees with Arsenio.
Aubrey turns to Teresa, asking, “Did I not teach you everything–?” Even Trump is finding her a bit self-centered.
Eric and Don deliver the verdict from Walgreens. They loved Arsenio, and the Forte slogan, “Face Reality.” They thought the presentation was too “informational,” instead of “motivational.” Walgreen didn’t like Forte’s box design. There were some negative words (such as “scratching”) on it. They were upset that Penn called it “Walk With Walmart.”
Unanimous wins the task. Arsenio starts crying, and talks about the Magic Johnson Foundation. “You’re going to make me cry,” Don says with his stone face on.
Unanimous heads up to the suite, but Aubrey is upset and walks away from the group. “Let her go,” Clay tells Teresa. Aubrey goes to the elevator and gets in. “I don’t want to be around all the negativity anymore …,” she says. The elevator door closes.
Another Walgreens commercial. This time with Allison and Arsenio.
In the suite, Arsenio hugs Clay and talks about how his cousin died from AIDS. “This is for my cousin Sharon,” he cries.
Lou brings Dayana and Dee back into the boardroom. Dayana can’t see why she was brought back. She was never assigned any job during the task. Dee says that she worked hard, helping everyone else. They both think Lou should be fired.
Lou says he shouldn’t, because he gave “110%.” Dee counters that everyone else on the task gave 120%.
Unfortunately, Dee was responsible for designing the box, which the Walgreens executives hated. Trump fires Dee.
In the limo, Dee urges the remaining contestants to stop propping up Lou.
Next Week: Lisa has major meltdowns. That’ll be new.
What did you think of the show? Was the Blue Man Group brilliant or idiotic? Is Aubrey gone for good, or will she show up in the morning with huge sunglasses on? How long can Dayana be called “weak” before Trump fires her? Answe
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