Awwww, thanks everyone. Gotta warn that one person, though, that my sarcasm radar is very weak, so I’ll just take that response as a huge compliment.

And that’s not the only thing that’s weak.

Seriously, though, Adam Lambert annoys the living hell out of me, and I don’t see his appeal at all.

I am a former Claytard. I still enjoy Clay Aiken’s music, but I’m not going to fantard over him any more. I’ll buy the music and go to the show, but it stops there.

And yes, I have gone to the Idol tour every year, and I have all the programs. They actually make nice collectors items.

And on another note, Allison is playing bar chords, which are not very complicated and are very easy to learn, but, I assure you she is playing it and it is heard over the speakers. It just fills out the sound a little. I’m sure the same went for Cook, but I haven’t seen his youtubes so can’t be sure. There is really no reason for them to fake it when what they’re doing can literally be learned in a day.

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Wow, VFTW must be hurting for hits on their site and Dr. Fender must be looking for a bigger audience. Strange recap. Not that Kris is talented, that is no surprise, but that VFTW would say he was the best since Kris was their pick! LOL!!!

And thank you for showing how actually respectful and innocuous SunshineGirl’s recap was. So not to presume, but maybe SunshineGirl would want to thank you as well.

And again, thanks for showring how VFTW’s really roll. I know I’ve thoroughly enjoyed laughing __ it.

Kansas City, Sunday, Aug 30.

Getting there was the biggest adventure of the whole thing. It seems like every year, they schedule this thing on the same night as my fantasy football draft. So, once again, I had to recruit my son to draft for me, and he was not happy about it to say the least. He said he wouldn’t mind so much if I were at least seeing someone good. He bitched and moaned, ‘Why do you want to see that stupid show anyways? You always make fun of it. They’re all going to be working at Burger King in three months.’  Problem is, when he said that, I was pissed at the time, so I almost defended them by saying something like, ‘No they’re not. They’ll have plenty of opportunities in the music biz, and if anyone ends up at Burger King, its going to be you’ . But luckily, my worster instincts kicked in, and I simply said, ‘I can’t argue with that, but I’m still going, so suck it up, unless you’re positioned to never ask me for any financial help again.’ 

After dropping my bitching son at the sports bar to draft my team, my wife and I were off to the show, but we needed to eat first. And guess where we ate? You guessed it!! Burger King!!!

Since we had to drop my son off, and then eat, that didn’t leave any time for pre-show frauffalo pictures, but trust me, they were there. But surprisingly enough, there were some serious hotties there as well. As we were approaching the Sprint Center, my wife asked what the barricades were for. I told her they were the tard barricades for the meet and greet, and we’d see the herd after the show. Now don’t get me wrong. My wife and I are both plenty fat, but neither of us were the least bit interested in waiting around at the barricades after the show.

This year I lucked out. No fatbodies (except my wife, haha) were sitting next to me. Just a small skinny dude who looked like he didn’t want to be there. Sarver took the stage first. He kept telling us to make some noise. However, he wasn’t entertaining me, so I stood steadfast. Sarver is a local barroom performer at best. Plus, the material didn’t fit him. I expect country from a redneck.

Next, Megan. I cheered wildly for her. Unfortunately, no one else did. And she insists on singing in a key that’s two octaves below her voice. But she’s plenty hot to look at. Not sure what was up with the ‘do’ , though. It looked kind of like ponyhawk lite. And she didn’t caw.

Then came my buddy Scotty Mac, who rose from the ground on a piano. Loved his first song. Liked his second song. Scotty doesn’t have the best voice, but dammit, he’s entertaining. I would pay to see him in his own show.

I forgot who went next. It was either Anoop or Lil. Doesn’t matter, both bored me. I did enjoy the waterdrop background during one of Anoop’s songs, and I enjoyed watching Lil’s ass hopping around. Her ass was just as big live as it was on TV.

I’ve gone to the AI Tour Crapfest every year. Consider it a tradition. And, every year, there’s always someone who I thought would suck, but then surprises me. Last year, it was Gaspy. The year before, it was Lakisha Jones. This year, it was Quatto the Mole. Matt Giraud put on a pretty damn good show, and I really enjoyed his set. And, it was the first time we got to experience Tim Stewart’s brilliance.

Before I go further, let me talk a little about Tim Stewart. He’s the guitarist in the band, and he’s absolutely amazing. Last year, David Cook had a guitar in his hands, but unknowing to the tards, none of the guitar sound was coming from it. All the rocking brilliance was coming from Tim Stewart, who was knocking down some incredible riffs. This was pretty much the case this year whenever any of the karaokes had a guitar in his/her hands. Keep that thought in mind as we move on to Allison.

After intermission, Allison came on. She played a pretty impressive set, highlighted by Heart’s Barricuda, but once again, I couldn’t hear a single note coming out of Allison’s guitar. I don’t think it was even plugged in. The great guitar chord roll that defines that song was once again coming entirely from Tim Stewart. You see, I watch those kind of things. And, whenever Tim completed a great riff, I cheered wildly, and it didn’t surprise me one bit that I was the only one, given the crowd.

Ok, kids!! What time is it??

Kids ‘“ IT’S HOKEY GOKEY TIME!!!!

(queue music)

It’s Ho-key Gokey time
It’s Ho-key Gokey time

(That’s all I know. In case you haven’t figured it out, its sung to Howdy Doody.) Actually, the song is fitting, because Gokey is Pastor Rolex’s puppet.

Anyways, there’s one thing I appreciate about Gokey. He makes me laugh. He has no idea how stupid he looks when he dances. He sang ok, and his songs were actually pretty good. His last song was real good. My only problem was that he was singing it.

Time for the earplugs. Lamebert was next. And Good Gawd, they should have put up some kind of warning about seizure sensitivity. Out came the tard signs. Out came the tard cellphones. Out came the tard glowsticks. Out came the tard screaming. On came the strobe lights. And to add to the horror, out came Lambert and his yelling and screeching. It was probably great for anyone who was into that kind of performance, but it gave me a headache, and it practically gave me a seizure. He did do one soft song, which I actually enjoyed. But after that, it was back to the NOISE, NOISE, NOISE (the grinch). The loudest shows I’ve ever witnessed were Boston, the Dropkick Murphys, and believe it or not, The Monkees. Lamebert was fourth. It was way over the top for me, and given that I’ve seen the likes of Judas Priest and Killswitch Engage, that’s saying a lot. My wife said that they should remake the Rocky Horror Picture Show with him. I think she’s on to something.

Finally, Kris. Dammit, Kris just earned some respect from me. Of course, after Lambert, I would have enjoyed just about anything. Kris put on a nice show, but once again, the great guitar work on the Killers song was coming from Tim Stewart. But, and this is a big BUT, in Kris’ last song, he faced Tim Stewart and took the role of lead guitarist for a little bit. And surprise, surprise, it was awesome!! I had no idea Kris could play the guitar like that. That’s right, the guitar riff greatness was actually coming from KRIS, and not Tim Stewart!! So Kris gained a lot of points with me, and after that, I will plan to see him in his own concert if he has one. Now I realize that they could have dubbed in a riff track to make it seem like he was doing it, but unlike the American Idol show itself, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. I enjoyed Kris one hell of a lot more than I enjoyed Lambert, but then again, I would have enjoyed watching a turd drop more than I enjoyed Lambert.

The piano duets between Giraud and Scotty Mac were real damn good. I can’t believe they cut that out of the AI finale. That was the best part. The Foghat thing between Allison and Lambert was ok, but in a few weeks, I’m going to see the real thing. Foghat is coming to town, and talk about guitar greatness!! The last half of Slow Ride is one of the greatest works of guitar genius of all time. It was disappointing that Tim Stewart didn’t get to rock out the second half of Slow Ride, but not surprising. If he would have, it would have completely eclipsed everything else that night.

Overall, it was a good show, enhanced greatly by some pretty good graphic presentations and Tim Stewart. I’ll be back again next year, and hopefully, so will Tim Stewart (although it seems to me that he could score a better gig than that). I just hope it won’t interfere with fantasy football, because on top of having to listen to his whiney ass, my son sucks at drafting.

PEACE. OUT.

Sorry you felt that way about my recap Cocoa. I was just joking around at the screams…it was cute and I found it kind of funny too, not in a mean spirited way though. I was totally doing the same thing last year finding the Archie teen fans sitting behind me funny and I am a HUGE Archie fan. Not being into certain songs and doing other things during them I don’t view as childish, but okay whatever. I just wasn’t in the mood to force myself to listen to songs I didn’t care for..that is all.

People who have seen my comments before know who my favorite is, but I think we need to respect all 10 of these kids who go out and perform every night and they all know that there are people in the audience that are not there for them, yet still they put out the effort.

The impression I have is that Sunshine Girl was not an Adam fan going into the concert and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that since musical taste is subjective. I do tink she was surprised by how much she liked Adam’s Mad World but at the same time she just didn’t get into the hype of a lot of his other songs. And I think her experience of Kris anticipation at the end of Adam’s set was similar to how most Adam fans feel at the end of Danny’s set.