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Share your comments on the show (and Untucked) tonight, and Montavilla will be back with the full recap tomorrow! Something smells fishy, as the queens create, market and film a commercial for their own signature fragrance.With guest judges Aubrey O’Day, and Knots Landing’s Joan Van Ark.
Before I do the recap, I just want to declare myself officially on the Jinkx Monsoon train. I’ve always been pulling for her a little because she’s from Seattle, making her the first Northwest queen in the competition. But this week I found out Jerick grew up in Portland, so Jinkx is a hometown girl! Woohoo!
On to the recap!
In the post-elimination, Roxxxy declares that she just had the breakdown of her life. She had never, ever cried about being abandoned as a child. She had been angry. She admits that she was taking out that anger on Jinkx during the previous challenge. Jinkx can’t stay mad at her, because they’ve both been through awful childhoods.
We get some assorted griping. Detox is pissed that there are still seven queens left. Alaska still hasn’t won a challenge and throws a bitch face when Coco hugs her. Jinkx, sensing Alaska’s distress tries to draw her out about her feelings. Unfortunately Coco — not longer allowed to prolong the Cocolyssa feud — pounces on that for the next chapter of Coco’s Crazy Drama-Rama.
But a new day dawns, and it’s on to the next big things. And they are big.
It starts with a mini-challenge based on the pit crew’s wardrobe. Which, if you haven’t been watching the series, is very skimpy. The pit crew come in, followed by about twenty other male models in long black shorts and numbered gold necklaces. The game, called “Whatcha Packin?” is played by having one queen call out two numbers. The models drop their pants, revealing his briefs, which are in one of a dozen different colors. The queen who can match each identical pair of briefs in the least amount of time wins a phone call home. Ivy is the winner, and, in a Drag Race first, doesn’t give the call away to someone else.
The main challenge is to create a signature scent, name it, choose and decorate a bottle for it, and then film a commercial to sell it. We get some footage of the queens sitting at little tables, mixing drops of various scents together and it’s roughly as exciting as it sounds. There is a brief bit of drama when Alyssa accidentally knocks over Jinkx’s bottles.
There’s also a cute little scene with Ivy and Jinkx flirting with each other. RuPaul mentioned that there would be some kai-kai (drag for two queens hooking up) this season. The bets have been on Detox and Roxxxy, but I’ve been wondering about Ivy and Jinkx for a few weeks now….
It’s really sweet and they’d be very cute together. Now, I don’t want either one of them to go home!
RuPaul comes in to mentor. He starts with Alaska and warns her that the name “Red” has already been used for a perfume. Roxxxy presents her scent, “Thick and Juicy.” RuPaul decides that it smells like IHOP.
RuPaul is non-plussed “RuAnimale by Coco.” He encourages Coco, but makes a note to run it by his lawyers. When asked, Alyssa doesn’t know what “Alyssa’s Secret” is, so RuPaul tells her to clarify the message.
Alas for Ivy! RuPaul decides that her thoughtful campaign is best pitched to a 45-year-old woman. Ivy realizes she missed the mark and starts over.
After the commercials we watch the queens film their commercials against a green screen. Michelle Visage is there to direct, along with guest judge Aubrey O’Day.
Michelle does most of the actual directing, while Aubrey is there mostly to stare intimidatingly and read the queens in talking heads.
Alyssa’s script goes something like this: “Every woman has a secret. Mine just happens to be a little bigger.” She laughs at her cleverness, reminding me so much of Jim Parson that I’m hoping she gets a guest spot on The Big Bang Theory some time.
On Elimination Day, Alaska run across a photo book she brought. It has pictures of friends and family from the “House of Haunt.” Everyone crowds around to look at the pics, and Alaska feels encouraged.
In another room, Ivy call home. Her mom psychically squeezes her hands three times, like she did when he was a little boy just before a performance.
Meanwhile, Jinkx is confessing to all the other queens that she has a big crush on Ivy. When Ivy returns, Jinkx gives her a huge hug.
RuPaul arrives on the runway wearing a ruby grapefruit gown with a little streak of pink in her hair. Quite stunning!
The queens slink the runway wearing clothes designed to sell their fragrances. Coco, keeping her “RuAnimale” theme, wearing a zebra print and all her jewelry. Alaska has on a red pencil skirt, red bra, and black jacket. Sexy corporate! Ivy wears a pale pink Ziegfeld dress with many sequins. Detox has on a tight nude dress with black lingerie. Alyssa looks like Joan Collin in teal and black. Jinkx has on a proto-Flapper dress with an exposed garter and Roxxxy is iridescent in a pink catsuit. Meow!
Then we watch their videos. Jinkx’s “Delusion” video is the funniest, showing her lolling around with both pit crew members, then waking up to realize that she was imagining it all. Alaska also gets laughs for her “Red for Filth…” ad. Detox’s fragrance is called “Heroin” and it’s hardest to describe the ad, but it’s very funny as well. Both Roxxxy and Ivy incorporate instant costume changes into their ads, while Alyssa’s commercial is both confusing and lame.
Guest judge Joan Van Ark commends Jinkx for having the best concept. RuPaul’s only response to Ivy’s commercial is “Oh, dear.” Aubrey advises Alyssa to do less with her eyes — it’s sexier. Michelle reads Roxxxy for not bringing in a strong concept to the commercial.
“I know it was confusing, ” Roxxy begins. Michelle cuts her off, “It wasn’t confusing. It was unprofessional.”
The judges sniff the fragrances. Coco’s just judged the worst by far. Alyssa’s assessment is Ewwww. Alaska’s perfume is praised by Aubrey, while her runway look is loved by Joan. The judges call Detox’s commercial for “Heroin” brave and upfront. But Ivy has missed the mark, and Aubrey says, “I can’t” about Roxxxy, her catsuit, and her commercial.
The queen returns. Alaska wins, meaning that everyone now as won one main challenge. No one has yet won two. Alaska receives a selection of hand-crafted corsets from Corset Connections.com.
Ivy and Alyssa are up for elimination. They lip-synch to “Ain’t Nothing Going on But the Rent” (Gwen Guthrie). Ivy stays in one spot, trying to get the judges to focus on her mouth. Alyssa dances all over the stage in an open jacket and black bra, ending up in a hooker pose at the back of the stage.
RuPaul sends Ivy home. Jinkx looks heartbroken. I am a little, as well. Usually by this point in the competition, we get a second design challenge (which I guess this was). That should have been Ivy’s strong point, but I think she was done in by the performance aspect. And because she is a little old-fashioned in her sensibilities. But I don’t think we really got to see Ivy at her best. So it makes me sad.
But she is tragically beautiful in her farewell speech. I can’t wait to hear at the reunion if Jinkx and Ivy ever took it farther than a crush. Something to look forward to!
The queen start out all together in the Interior Illusions Lounge. Coco is pissed about the judging, which she finds unfair. It takes a bit to unravel what she’s says, mostly because it starts out as a complaint about the judges calling Jinkx “beautiful.” Which just looks like sour grapes, because Jinkx is looking gorgeous in her flapper dress and flawless face.
Jinkx calls Coco out and it’s a bit of a fight until Detox gets Coco to clarify. What Coco is getting at is that she feels that Jinkx is “not on her level.” Which means, in pageant-talk, that Jinkx isn’t as good as creating the flawless illusion of a woman. She finally boils it down to the judges ranking the queens in each challenge according to “growth” instead of accomplishment.
Alaska interviews that this is a typical “pageant girl” attitude; they discount non-pageant style as “just comedy” or “just freaks.” “There’s no reasoning with it,” Alaska drawls. “The best revenge is just to do better.”
Jinkx points out that they came to the competition in order to grow. Alaska adds that others have won challenges she excelled in because they stepped out of their comfort zone. (Case in point: Coco won the Roast, which both Alaska and Jinkx killed, partly because it was more difficult for her do comedy.)
Coco insists that, had she worn Jinkx’s outfit, she would have been read for filth.
“This is how I do drag, and it’s a completely valid form of drag!” Jinkx argues, really angry now. To camera, Jinkx confesses her anger towards Coco and her desire to now at least get further than Coco.
Coco bats her freaky blue contact eyes at the camera and insists, “I wasn’t trying to hurt her in any type of way.”
Me, I don’t buy it. Coco is using Jinkx drama to fill the void now that Alyssa is off limits.
The CoJinkx feud seems even more unnecessary when Coco gets the Big Pink Furry Box video. It’s from her husband, who assures Coco that he loves her, supports her, and that her parents are looking down from Heaven (or from the mausoleum) to cheer her on to victory. It turns out that Coco’s parents both died from cancer within a year of each other.
Which is very sad, and I feel bad for Coco, but I must confess I’m getting tired of feeling bad for everyone. It was just as moving, but quite a relief this week to see Ivy with at least one live, loving parent.
Split into their small study groups, Alyssa decides she’s probably up against Ivy. She is determined to be fierce. Jinkx is worried, knowing that Ivy can’t beat Alyssa at the lip-synch if Alyssa is on her A-game.
In the gold lounge, Roxxxy is pissed that Alyssa wasn’t sent home the week before. The other queens (Coco, Alaska, and Ivy) agree. Ivy mentions that Alyssa didn’t know all the words to “Whip Your Hair” and turned upstage to hide it most of the time.
They bond over mutual annoyance at Aubrey O’Day. Alaska imitates Aubrey’s basilisk stare, while Coco throws shade at Aubrey for being “mouthy.” “Like she won the Apprentice!” Roxxxy does admit that Aubrey’s eyes are pretty and she’s jealous of them.
So, is anyone watching the series? Let me know!
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