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Share your comments on the show (and Untucked) tonight, and I’ll be back with the full recap tomorrow! The queens test their vocal abilities as they sing in RuPaul’s 1980s We Are The World inspired charity single.With guest judges La Toya Jackson and The Pointer Sisters.
We Are the Weird
The queens mourn the loss of Lineysha as they gaze on her mirror message. Jinkx dubs her a “beautiful, crafty lady.” They congratulate Jinkx, but she feels they cheered more for Roxxy and Detox. She thinks they should view her as more of a threat — then goes to the corner of the room and falls asleep.
The next day, Rolaskatox gives their usual “Rolaskatox!” cheer. Jinkx follows it by yelling, “Jinkx! Yay!” If nobody else will cheer her, she’ll cheer herself.
The mini-challenge is to put on make-up in total darkness. RuPaul observes them through night-vision goggles, but gets distracted by the Pit-Crew’s er… by the Pit-Crew. When the queens reveal their faces, Detox and Alyssa have done the best jobs, while Jade is deemed “a boy putting on make-up for the first time.”
Detox is declared the winner. This gives her the power to divide the eight queens into three groups for the main challenge, which RuPaul explains. They are going to create a “We Are the World” video, using RuPaul’s empowerment anthem, “Can I Get an Amen.” Each group will take a different section of the song, write lyrics, and sing alone and together.
Detox immediately gathers Rolaskatox into one group, screws Coco and Alyssa by grouping them together, and lets the three left over (Ivy, Jade, and Jinkx) become the final group. After consulting with “Rolaska,” she further screws Cocalyssa by making them sing first. Coco rolls her eyes, deciding that everything today is about making her miserable.
Detox gives her group the bridge, since that’s the most dramatic part of the song.
RuPaul does his Tim Gunn visit to the Werk Room. He determines that Alyssa doesn’t sing, but Coco plans to take the song to church. He advises them to put some fun into their lyrics. Jinkx and Ivy describe their singing experience. Ivy is classically trained. Jinkx is a professional singer. Jade giggles and says she sings in the car. After hearing Detox sing her lyrics, he reminds her to do the “G-rated version” in the studio. (We’ll find out why in a bit.)
He tells announces the judges: Anita and Ruth from the Pointer Sisters, plus La Toya Jackson. Wow. This is the second recap I’ve done in two days with La Toya Jackson in it. Girl gets around.
At the taping, Lucien Piane (RuPaul’s producer) coaches the queens through the song. He interviews that Coco and Alyssa had “strange chemistry.” He asks Jade why she’s looking down. He compliments Ivy and says she has “energy, performance, and voice.” As Jinkx holds a note for approximately forever, Roxxy snarks that she’s the weakest in the competition for relying on gimmicks.
Roxxy, on the other hand, cannot pronounce the word “sequined.” Detox sings a swear word during her bit and they have to start over. Alaska worries that Detox and Roxxy aren’t being serious enough about the task.
Then Lucien has everyone free-style, which is fun. At the end, he looks pained, but that’s his usual expression. The queens return to the Werk Room to remove their eighties era drag, and Coco mutters about Detox “instigating” a strategy. Detox calls her out and denies any devious thoughts when she created teams. Coco keeps fighting, while Alyssa chews her nails about being the bottom team.
In a side interlude, Detox describes all her various plastic surgery procedures for Alaska. Basically, she’s had everything done (including her pecs and six-pack), except her knees, nose, and big toe. In an interview, Alaska ponders her feeling about it: “How do I feel? Jealous!” I guess she shares Sharon Needles’ obsession with plastic survey.
Putting on make-up, Jade talks about coming out. It was a dark time for her. She was parted from her family and had no friends. She talking-heads that she now loves her, but even the memories are making her cry a little.
RuPaul enters the runway, wearing a column of silver lame that looks like an art deco building. The pink flower in her hair is a beautiful touch.
The theme this week is “Show Off Your Favorite Body Part.” Coco takes that to mean she should wear a skeleton costume with a big red heart showing through the ribcage. Alyssa shows off her legs by pointing one finger as she struts around the stage. Jade, wearing a dress of many colored wigs, is highlighting her arms. Not exactly sure how.
Ivy’s dress shows of her face as it is put together from dozens of headshots sewn together. It’s quite spectacular. JInkx ignores the theme and wears a strangely textured gold dress with a furry black stole. She describes her look as “rich, white bitch,” and her attitude as “over it.” MIchelle Visage looks offended.
Roxxy saunters down the runway in a dress made entirely of cut-outs. Alaska wears another tight evening gown and points to her collarbone (which she has decided to show off. Detox is the last one on the runway. She wears a tight black leather (or “pleather”) gown that has open lacing in the back. It’s tied so openly in the back that, when she reveals the back,” we can see Detox’s butt crack. Which looks lovely.
The video is shown. Magically, Boy RuPaul is in it, leading everyone else in the song. As for the contestants, Coco looks pissed and bored. Alyssa and Roxxy are not good singers, but bring energy and commitment. Jade is very quiet in her bits. Ivy and Jinkx shine. Neither Alaska nor Detox really stands out, even when they are singing solos. But, on the whole it’s fun and entertaining.
The judges laugh and applaud. Then RuPaul announces that it’s available through itunes, with a portion of the price going to the LA Gay and Lesbian Center’s Homesless Youth Services.
In the judging, Coco comes under fire for her lackluster performance. When asked about her feelings on the experience, Coco blames Detox for putting her with Alyssa. When Jade is critiqued, her outfit causes confusion because there are fringes made of hair that sprout from unfortunate places (her hips and boobs). Ivy and Jinkx are both praised for their singing. In addition, Ivy’s dress draws much approval, and Michelle refrains from beating Jinkx up about her lack of glamor. She merely advises Jinkx not to contour her face so severely in the future. For Michelle, that’s practically a big, wet kiss.
Michelle delivers some tough love to Rolaskatox. She warns them about being too cliquish. Then she critiques both Detox and Alaska for relying/hiding on gimmicks to get by. RuPaul. in her sternest Mama voice, tells Alaska that she’s hiding behind schtick, then brings up Sharon Needles who wowed by being both schticky and vulnerable. Alaska repeats RuPaul’s words in a voice on the verge of breaking.
The judges deliberate, picking at everyone. Then, they adorably break into a chorus of “Can I Get an Amen.” Well, if you’re going to hire the Pointer Sisters and La Toya Jackson, you might as well use them.
Ivy wins the week, receiving a set of luggage from Flight One Package. (How kitsch to have luggage as a prize!) Both Detox and Alaska are called safe with a warning about coasting. Coco and Jade are up for elimination.
The lip-synch song is “I’m So Excited” (The Pointer Sisters). Coco and Jade both give it all they’ve got. Unfortunately for Jade, Coco has at least a decade more experience, and thus more moves to give. The judges’ eyes lock onto Coco through the entire song.
It’s no surprise that Jade is given her walking papers. She maintains her perky demeanor during the dismissal, even though she has to smile through tears. Which is the best thing about Jade Jolie — her sweet and smiling character. I’m going to miss her pretty little self.
Watch the video of the show, and tell me what you think. Will you miss Jade? Is Rolaskatox coasting? Let me know!
There is no division into “safe” this week before the final judgement. All the queens retire as the judges deliberate. They pick up their pink cocktails and carefully arrange their gowns on the various chairs.
Jade starts the conversation by declaring her bottom two status. She rambles on for a bit, wishing she had had brought more fun commitment to the video taping.
“,,, And Alyssa’s fat,” Detox finishes for her. This brings a big laugh — apparently Alyssa’s weight has been a target for Jade’s shade for a while. We get a short montage of Jade calling Alyssa fat in the Werk Room. When we return to the Interior Illusions lounge, the queens are still laughing and Alyssa’s looking uncomfortable. Somehow, that just makes Alyssa seem even more fabulous than usual. She really is a champion.
Coco knows she’s on the bottom and decides to use that to pick more at Alyssa, calling her out for telling RuPaul that Coco was “disconnected” during the challenge. “First time I’m hearing about it,” Coco sniffs. Alyssa insists that she tried to speak to Coco about it several times — and then we’re shown Alyssa doing just that in many, many flashbacks.
Roxxy rolls her eyes in a talking head. “Blah, blah, blah. You guys just need to go have sex or something and get it over with.” Apparently, she finds the Cocolyssa drama as tiresome as we do. Probably more, since she (and everyone else) had to live with it twenty-four hours a day.
Ivy asks Alaska how she’s feeling after RuPaul warned her to show more heart and vulnerability. Alaska breaks down into tears. She knows how much heart Sharon Needles has — and she can’t compete with it. “You do have a heart,” Detox consoles Alaska, handing her a hankie.
Alaska moans a little more about the difficulty of showing that, finally concluding, “Maybe I should have my legs and not wear panty-hose.” It’s obviously an inside joke. I wonder if that’s Sharon they’re talking about? Whatever it refers to, it brings a laugh from everyone and nicely breaks the tension. That’s why we love you, Alaska.
The Big Furry Pink Box provides a message: Despite what you think, you’ll always be Daddy’s little girl. Suddenly, Alyssa’s father appears on the screen, an older bearded man with dark lenses and a deep Southern accent. He cries as he tells Alyssa how proud he is of her, although he didn’t always show it. “I’m not ashamed to tell folks that my son is gay. Bring home the crown.” I’m so glad Alyssa got that booster, especially after she was laughed at earlier by the other queens.
Nobody is laughing now. They are too busy trying to keep their tears from ruining their make-up. All except Roxxy, who seems strangely unemotional. Alyssa tells everyone about the difficulty of her childhood. When she was twelve, she used to pray to God, “Please don’t make me this way.” She hadn’t really spoken to her father since leaving home at twenty.
Jinkx empathizes. She was raised in a Catholic home and also prayed every night, asking God to make her something — anything — else than a gay boy. To make her a girl. “But you don’t get to wake up someone else,” she says.
Coco begs Alyssa to forgive her father — before it’s too late. Her own father is dead and the opportunity to come to terms with him is gone. She doesn’t want Alyssa to make that same mistake.
The queens are really crying now, and they split up to recover. Coco, Detox, Jinkx, and Ivy end up in the Gold Lounge, where Detox brings up Coco blaming her on the runway for Coco’s failure to shine in the video. Coco tries to blame Detox again, but Ivy and Jinkx will not have it. The both of them call her conduct during the taping “unprofessional.” That’s really about the worst thing an entertainer can say to a peer. And the face Ivy is wearing just emphasizes how serious a charge it is. Coco must have been even worse that she was shown.
In the Interior Illusions Lounge, the other four queens are also discussing Coco’s lack of professionalism. I have a feeling this is going to come up in another episode, because we go back to the runway right afterwards.
In her final confessional, Jade says she gave the competition her all, but wishes that she could have given even more.
The bonus footage this week is the “wailing” part of the song. It’s somewhat interesting to see what each queen goes to when put on the spot to improvise, but it’s not particularly entertaining.
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