We’ll be live-blogging the Golden Globe Awards 2013 tonight, beginning at 8 pm ET on NBC! The boozy event, sponsored by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association will be co-hosted by the hilarious duo, Tina Faye and Amy Poehler.
There aren’t too many blog-related posts this year. Nashville earned a couple of nominations, including Best Actress and Supporting Actress for Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere respectively.
Smash earned a nod in the Comedy or Musical category. Glee was shut out, nevertheless, Lea Michele will be handing out an award tonight.
American Idol judge, Keith Urban co-wrote “For You,” nominated for Best Original Song. The tune is from the film Act of Valor.
HERE WE GO. Tina and Amy BOTH look gorgeous. Whoa at Bill Murray looking like Jed Clampett “You can smell the pills from here!” says Amy. And why the duo won’t be edgy tonight, “When you run afoul of the HPFA, they make you host two more times…” Amy again, “When it comes to torture, I trust the lady married for 3 years to James Cameron,” about Katharine Bigelow.
Rather than shoot a 3rd film in Boston, “Ben Affleck shot a film in Iran because he wanted a local that was friendlier to outsiders”
To Anne Hathaway about her Les Miserables role, “I have not seen anyone so alone and abandoned like that since you were onstage with James Franco at the Oscars.”
THESE GALS ARE ON FIYAH.
Kate Hudson and Bradley Cooper present Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture to ChristophWaltz for Dijango Unchained. BABBLE BABBLE BABBLE.
Kerry Washington and Dennis Quaid present Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy, Miniseries, TV Movie to Maggie Smith for Downton Abbey. She’s not around to pick up her award.
Eva Longoria and Don Cheadle introduce Miss and Mr. Golden Globes! They are the kids of Clint Eastwood and Michael J. Fox. (Michael’s son is introduced as “philanthropist.” Hm.)
They present Best Mini-Series or TV Movie to Game Change. So the producer of Game Change is married to Susannah Hoffs?
Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie goes to Julianne Moore for Game Change. Yeah. She played Tina Fey er I mean, Sarah Palin. She thanks Tina Fey and Katie Couric.
I have no idea what’s going on here, but it sure is hilarious. Check out T Swizzles bitch face! Proving once again that she has no sense of humor.
Katharine Zeta Jones takes the stage to preview Les Miserables, up for Best Movie.
Tina and Amy introduce the president of the HPFA with a Hunger Games joke. She asks the camera to pan the room. It does not happen immediately. She announces that she will be disappearing into “the delta twilight.” Please lady DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE JOKES.
Salma Hayek and Paul Rudd (LOVES) take the stage to present Best Actor TV Series Drama to Damian Lewis for Homeland. He dedicates his award to his Mum. AWWWW.
Next, Best TV Series Drama goes to…(LONG AWKWARD PAUSE. TELEPROMPTER FAIL. PAUL and Salma Look VERY confused. Paul IS SO CUUUTE) goes to Homeland! The cast and crew take the stage. The producer name checks a pregnant Claire Dane. Also, thanks characters that he killed off.
John Goodman and Tony Mendez (the real guy. He can’t read a teleprompter) take the stage to introduce a clip from Argo.
Jennifer Lopez and Jason Statham to present Best Original Movie Score to Mychael Danna for Life of Pi. The award was brought to the stage by International music star Yoshiki! (???)
Next Best Original Song goes to “Skyfall” by Adele! From the James Bond movie, Skyfall. YAY. So glad it’s not Taylor Swift. SORRY NOT SORRY. Adele is freaking out on stage. It’s very adorable. She looks great.
Kiefer Sutherland and Jessica Alba present Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini Series or TV Movie to Kevin Costner for Hatfields and McCoys. OMG Tina Fey as a joke nominee. Hilarious. Kevin shout out to his first Golden Globes years ago when he was unknown, and Gregory Peck.
Bill Clinton takes the stage. For real! Standing ovation for the president. He presents a clip of the Best Movie nominee, Lincoln.
Amy says, , “THAT WAS HILARY CLINTON’S HUSBAND. LOL. Tina takes the stage in character to introduce Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig. She pronounces their names wrong. Hilarius. They both do their BEST TAYLOR SWIFT IMPRESSIONS. They present Best Actress Comedy or Musical. It’s like they are back on SNL as they pretend to have watched each movie. /NOT.
They present the award to Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Lining Playbook. OHHHH. She looks so pretty in a red princess dress. “I beat Meryl!” she jokes. “Harvey, thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today.” HA.
John Krasinski and Kristen Bell present Best Supporting Actor in a Mini-Series, Musical or Made for TV Movie goes to Ed Harris for Game Change.
Jamie Foxx introduces a clip from Django Unchained
Megan Fox and Jonah Hill present Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture to Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables. Megan wants to know if Jonah is ever going to call her back. He says no. “Blerg” says Anne, “Thanks for that word, Tina” and “Thank you for this lovely blunt object.” She’s breathless and a little overwhelmed. Shout out to fellow nominee, Sally Field, for defying typecasting.
Robert Pattinson presents Best Screenplay for a Motion Picture goes to Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained. He swears he’s very very surprised.
Jeremy Irons takes the stage to introduce a clip of Best Motion Picture nominee, Salmon Fishing in the Yeoman.
Lucy Liu and Debra Messing present Television Series Comedy Or Musical to Don Cheadle for House of Lies. Well, that was kind of a surprise, don’t you think?
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone present the award for Best Foreign Film to “Amour” from…Austria. Arnold presented. Coincidence? Arnold and Sly were pretty awkward up there.
Lea Michele and Nathan Fillion (HAWWT) present Best Actress In A Television Series Drama to Claire Danes for Homeland. That was NOT a surprise. It’s her 4th Golden Globe. Her first came at 15 for “My So Called Life”. Her voice is shaking… On her pregnancy during production, “Carrie was in fact, carrying.” Ha.
Sacha Baron Cohen takes the stage WITH A DRINK IN HAND and an exaggerated British accent. He riffs on the actors in Les Miserables. On Russel Crowe’s singing lessons “That was money well spent.” LULZ. He presents the award for Best Animated Feature film to “Brave”.
Ian Schreiber introduces a clip from The Life of Pi
Jason Bateman carries in Aziz Ansari. “The cast from Downton Abbey had some amazing weed backstage.” AZIZ IS A+. Best Actress In A Television Series Comedy Or Musical to Lena Dunham for Girls. She’s very shaky and UNCOOL. She thanks a slew of people from her life. After, she ripped off her gown. JUST KIDDING. Actually, she toddles off the stage, VERY unsteady in her shoes. She managed to avoid a face plant.
Tina and Amy are out on stage with BIG DRINKS after their loss! “Congratulations Lena,” says Tina, “I’m glad we got you through middle school.” LULZ FOREVER. If I’m being perfectly honest. I think Amy was robbed. And, “Look how drunk Glen Close is” and “You know what Taylor Swift, you stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son” Bet my left arm she’s NOT LAUGHING.
Robert Downey Jr. presents the Cecil B. Demille Lifetime Achievement Award to Jodi Foster (she looks beautiful, by the way). There are hamster jokes. Jodi is slumming with Mel Gibson. She announces that she’s 50. She’s been in show business forever. She’s done it all. Amazing. She says she feels like “the prom queen.” She thanks the crews she has worked with. Classy.
Jodi comes OUT…as single. Ha. Ha ha ha. She says she has already done her coming out speech. Wow she’s really addressing this. Good for her. “I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago in the Stone Age.” she says. And then insists that she’s entitled to privacy. “I’m not Honey Boo Boo.” she says. My reality show would be so boring” She also thanks her mom. Amazing speech. LOVE HER.
Halle Berry takes the stage to present Best Director Motion Picture. It goes to HOMEBOY, Ben Affleck, for Argo.
Now, a clip from Best Motion Picture nominee, Moonrise Kingdom.
Jimmy Fallon (YAY) and Jay Leno (BOOOO) take the stage to present. Oh. The jokes about Jay giving up his Tonight Show seat. Sorry Jimmy, not until you can pry it out of his dead, cold hands. Maybe not even then.
They present Best TV Comedy or Musical to Girls. Lena Dunham accepts the award, with her “team”. She’s still having trouble in those shoes! She takes the crowd and screams. She thanks…Chad Lowe?
Christian Bale takes the stage to introduce a clip from Best Movie Nominee, Silver Lining Playbook.
Jennifer Garner takes the stage to present an award, but first she thanks George Clooney and another guy for her husband, Ben WHO FORGOT. She presents Best Actor for a Comedy or Musical Motion Picture to Hugh Jackson for Les Miserables. He calls his wife incredible and asks her to come on stage later if he forgets to thank anyone. HA.
Dustin Hoffman presents Best Comedy or Musical Motion Picture to Les Miserables. Anne Hathaway is back to belatedly thank her manager. Producer is miffed he’s being played off so quick. RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
Tina and Amy introduces George Clooney thusly, “This next presenter is so good-looking, he makes young George Clooney look like garbage. Please welcome middle-aged George Clooney.” YESSSS. George CONGRATULATES BEN AFFLECK. He presents Best Actress Drama in a Motion Picture to Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark 30. SURPRISE.
Meryl Streep has the flu, so George gets to continue. Best Actor Drama in Motion Picture goes to Daniel Day Lewis for Lincoln. NOT A SURPRISE.
Julia Roberts takes the stage to present Best Motion Picture Drama to Argo! Here comes the producer, Ben Affleck and his cast and crew.
Winner’s List
Best Television Series Drama
Breaking Bad
Boardwalk Empire
Downton Abbey: Season 2
Homeland – WINNER
The Newsroom
Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series Drama
Connie Britton, Nashville
Glenn Close, Damages
Claire Danes, Homeland – WINNER
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey: Season 2 -julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Best Performance By An Actor In A Television Series Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Damian Lewis, Homeland – WINNER
Best Television Series Comedy Or Musical
The Big Bang Theory
Episodes
Girls – WINNER
Modern Family
Smash
Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series Comedy Or Musical
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Julia Louis-dreyfus, Veep
Lena Dunham, Girls – WINNER
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Amy Poehler, Parks And Recreation
Best Performance By An Actor In A Television Series Comedy Or Musical
Alec Baldwin, 30 RockD
Don Cheadle, House Of Lies – WINNER
Louis C.k., Louie
Matt Leblanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Best Mini-series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Game Change – WINNER
The Girl
Hatfields & Mccoys
The Hour
Political Animals
Best Performance By An Actress In A Mini-series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum
Sienna Miller, The Girl
Julianne Moore, Game Change – WINNER
Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals
Best Performance By An Actor In A Mini-series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Kevin Costner, Hatfields & Mccoys – WINNER
Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock
Woody Harrelson, Game Change
Toby Jones, The Girl
Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gellhorn
Best Performance By An Actress In A Supporting Role In A Series, Mini-series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Sarah Paulson, Game Change
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey: Season 2 – WINNER
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Best Performance By An Actor In A Supporting Role In A Series, Mini-series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Max Greenfield, New Girl
Ed Harris, Game Change – WINNER
Danny Huston, Magic City
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
BEST PICTURE: DRAMA
“Argo” – WINNER
“Django Unchained”
“Life of Pi”
“Lincoln”
“Zero Dark Thirty”
BEST PICTURE: COMEDY OR MUSICAL
“Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”
“Les Miserables” – WINNER
“Moonrise Kingdom”
“Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”
“Silver Linings Playbook”
BEST DIRECTOR
Ben Affleck (Argo) – WINNER
Kathryn Bigelow
Ang Li
Steven Spielberg
Quentin Tarantino
BEST ACTOR: DRAMA
Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln) – WINNER
Richard Gere
John Hawkes
Joaquin Phoenix
Denzel Washington
BEST ACTRESS: DRAMA
Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark 30) – WINNER
Marion Cotillard
Helen Mirren
Naomi Watts
Richard Weisz
BEST ACTRESS: COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Emily Blunt
Judi Dench
Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Lining Playbook) – WINNER
Maggie Smith
Meryl Streep
BEST ACTOR: COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Jack Black
Bradley Cooper
Hugh Jackman (Les Miserables) – WINNER
Ewan McGregor
Bill Murray
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams
Sally Field
Anne Hathaway (Les Miserables) – WINNER
Helen Hunt
Nicole Kidman
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin
Leonardo DiCaprio
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Tommy Lee Jones
Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained) – Winner
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
“Amour” – Austria – WINNER
“A Royal Affair”
“The Intouchables”
“Kon-Tiki”
“Rust and Bone”
BEST SCREENPLAY
“Zero Dark Thirty”
“Lincoln”
“Django Unchained” – (Quentin Tarantino) WINNER
“Argo”
“Silver Linings Playbook”
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Anna Karenina
Argo
Cloud Atlas
Life of Pi – WINNER
Lincoln
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
“Brave” – WINNER
“Frankenweenie”
“Hotel Transylvania”
“Rise of the Guardians”
“Wreck-It-Ralph”
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
“For You” – co-written by Keith Urban for “Act of Valor”
“Not Running Anymore”
“Safe and Sound”
“Skyfall” – By Adele from Skyfall – WINNER
“Suddenly”
