At the end of last week’s “City of Angels,” New Directions had lost Nationals, prompting principal Sue Sylvester to disband the club as a necessary economic measure.
In Mr. Shue’s hour of need, the graduates come back to McKinley to say goodbye and reminisce about the lessons Glee taught them. Also returning for the series’ 100th episode, are Kristin Chenoweth and Gwyneth Paltrow, as April Rhodes and Holly Holliday, who make one last ditch effort to save the club.
Also guest starring is Chase Crawford (Gossip Girl) as Quinn’s (Dianna Agron’s) douchey Yale boyfriend, Biff MacIntosh.
I’ll be back with a recap and performance videos later!
Listen to FULL songs from “100”
Glee’s 100th episode brought the old gang back together again. I don’t think we’ve ever had so many New Directioners gathered together in one room. Despite not caring much about the newbies, I still found the stew of Glee clubbers kind of awesome.
The return of April Rhodes (Kristin Chenoweth) and Holly Holliday (Gwyneth Paltrow) as partners in crime was an added bonus! Most of the musical numbers took place in the first half hour. The last 30 minutes were devoted to old couples coming back together and friends reuniting with a new understanding. And as always, the specter of the club’s fallen hero, Finn Hudson, loomed large. There were lots of early Glee feels throughout “100.” We were partying like it was 2009, baby! Not a bad thing, really.
The episode opens with both newbies and oldbies gathering in the choir room. For some reason, Mercedes and Rachel are rivals once again. Both on the cusp of stardom–Rachel and her lead in Funny Girl, Mercedes with a major label deal. Each wants to establish, once and for all, who really is the Queen of McKinley.
Will promises not to rap, and a nation lets out its collective breath!
Miss April Rhodes is in the house. She introduces the greatest New Directions song EVER, “Raise Your Glass.” When Blaine reminds her that it was a Warblers song, she tweaks his nose as she coos,”I always have had a soft spot in my heart for you prep school boys.” And April? Is still a boozer.
The kids dance with champagne glasses as April leads them around the room. The Warblers really do this song best. But I ain’t mad.
Raise Your Glass – April Rhodes (Kristin Chenoweth) and New Directions
Puck is on leave from the military, and he’s found a purpose. And that purpose is reuniting with Quinn, the only girl he’s ever really loved. The only problem? Her super preppy, old money boyfriend, Biff MacIntosh. He’s an amalgamation of every WASP stereotype you can think of. He even asks Puck, at one point, if he’s Jewish. Do people like this even exist any more? If they ever did? Quinn has told him nothing about her past. Not about the baby. Or the pink hair. Or the Ryan Seacrest tattoo. Things are about to get real, people.
Meanwhile. Brittany is visiting from MIT, and she’s not really happy being a math genius. She misses her life where all she had to do was scissor Santana and talk to her cat. To cheer her up, Santana suggests a reunion of the “Unholy Trinity” and it’s everything you’d ever want from the trio. Quinn, Santana and Brittany slither sexily around the stage to Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” But do you think “Mr. Preppy McDimplebutt”( tm April) was even paying attention? Nope. He was texting the entire time. Quinn doesn’t care. She’s looking to be set for life with Main Line McAsshole.
Toxic – Quinn, Santana and Brittany
Next, it’s Fondue for 2! Mercedes and Rachel are guests. Brittany cuts to the chase with Rachel. If she’s simultaneously: Starring in a Broadway musical, working as a waitress at a diner, and attending NYADA full time. How could she just take an entire week off to fly to Lima to say goodbye to Will? WHEN ARE THESE LIES GOING TO STOP, cries Brittany. This question could be asked of Kurt and Santana too, who appear to spend half of their time in Lima, as if school and employment didn’t exist. Whatever DID happen to Kurt’s job at Vogue?
When Rachel and Mercedes find out they each want to reprise “Defying Gravity” (Rachel with Kurt, recreating their old rivalry, but in a friendlier way) they decide there and then to have a Diva Off. Kurt will figure into this somehow.
Dinner at Breadstix. “Poor people are generally less attractive than rich ones,” opines Biff, before he and Quinn are crowded at the table by Puck, Santana, Artie and Mike. “Word on the street is that you’re old money,” says Santana to Biff, “I’m a lesbian, but I’m totally into that.”
When Quinn’s secrets begin to spill at the table (the Ryan Seacrest tattoo she got in Purple Piano Project comes up again and again), Quinn shoes Biff away for a minute so she can explain how they all need to zip it so she can snag her a rich man. “I will tell him everything when I’m ready,” she says to her disbelieving friends.
Cut to Sue’s office, where April informs her that since SHE paid for the auditorium way back when after she married a rich dude, she dictates who gets to use it. And that would be the Glee club. As Will and April leave the office triumphantly, the wheels in Sue’s head begin to spin. That can’t be good.
Back in the choir room, Kurt informs the club FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME he threw the high F in “Defying Gravity” on purpose. Somehow, this performance has turned into a showdown between Mercedes and Rachel, but it’s still a trio, with Kurt. The performance is wonderful, staged like the original from “Wheels,” including the darkening background and spotlight. The trio sound fantastic, but I wanted more Kurt. Sorry. But this is his song. By the last third of the song, the focus shifts onto Mercedes and Rachel. In my head, I imagined Kurt finally, and triumphantly hitting that high F. It was fitting that he wore a shirt reminiscent of Charlie Brown, the comic book character, for the performance. It’s like, amongst his friends, the football is constantly pulled away just as he’s about to kick it.
Defying Gravity – Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes
Out in the McKinley courtyard, Santana finds Brittany directing the chess club as human chess pieces, recreating the classic 1972 match between Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky (so random). Brittany feels trapped in the role of math genius. There’s an assumption at work here, that one can either be a math whiz or a dancer, but not both. I think Danica McKellar might have something to say about that. Hmpf. The Brittany as math genius plot only served as a ridiculous device to write her off the show last year. It’s no less stupid in this new context.
Speaking of silly–Mercedes and Rachel campaigning for the kids’ votes is a real throwback to old Glee. But not in a good way. This particular Diva -Off doesn’t have even a smidgen of resonance the original flavah did. Back in “Wheels” Kurt threw the high note, willing to sacrifice his own shot at stardom to protect his father. Weirdly, it’s never explained why Kurt sang, but isn’t competing.
Blaine and Kurt, being congratulated by April on their impending marriage, is the funniest and most outrageous bit of the episode. She says to the boys, “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, the one thing this country needs more of is teen marriage!” She hands them little flasks of booze as gifts. “It will help dull the excruciating pain of your wedding night sodomy and inevitable divorce you’re careening towards a couple months later.” ALRIGHTY THEN.
Santana is so worried about the state of Brittany’s mind that she grabs her girl, to dance with in front of the class. They reprise the wonderful “Valerie,” which Santana sang during a season 2 competition, with Mike and Brittany dancing along side her. This time Brittany trades vocals while all the dancers in the room, including Mike, Jake and Kitty, join in. “See this is who you are,” says Santana to Brittany, “What you do when you don’t think about it.”
Valerie – Santana and Brittany
Next, it’s Puck’ turn. He moves the group to the auditorium, where they sit around him on the floor while he strums and sings “Keep Holding On.” He and Santana are on tandem missions–revealing to the loves of their lives who they really are. Puck goes so far as to recreate the choreography on the risers, when the Glee club dedicated the song to Quinn and Finn after her pregnancy was outed. She’s so overcome by emotion, that she cries. Puck reminds her not to be ashamed of her past, as Quinn gets up and walks away, announcing, “I’m in love with Biff.”
Keep Holding On – Puck
Back in the choir room it’s time to vote for for the Queen Diva. Is it Rachel or Mercedes? But before they can begin, Santana interrupts to lecture the class on how horrible and selfish a person Rachel is. Yes, they are still feuding after Santana auditioned for an one the part of Rachel’s understudy. “Someone in that apartment shaves their face and leaves their stubble in the sink,” says Santana, as Kurt sits with his head in his hand, “and we all know that it ain’t Kurt!”
After a litany of insults, Santana does a really mean thing. She reveals that the fix was in for Rachel’s prom queen win senior year. Quinn and Santana stuffed the ballot box because they felt sorry for her (for those who didn’t watch. This is pretty much what happened.)
A stunned Rachel storms away, after calling Santana a cruel and jealous person. She’s left crying in the bathroom, as Mercedes to comforts her. Here’s where the girls realize they are more alike than not.
“No matter where I go or what I do I’m back in high school again,” sobs Rachel. Mercedes can relate, but she uses those negative voices–sometimes it’s Rachel–as motivation. Rachel feels bad that she might have been one of Mercedes tormentors. Mercedes likens it more to how Beyonce and Barbra might feel about each other. She feels deeply competitive around Rachel, because she is literally the best singer she’s ever heard. The girls hug it out.
Cut to Sue’s office. After some digging (Wikipedia!) it’s discovered that April’s trust for the auditorium ran out due to Will Schuester’s profligate spending on costumes and scenery for Glee performances. Just another hilarious bit of meta. Who knew we’d ever get an explanation for the Glee club’s elaborate productions! Also, April has no money. Her latest “John” was Bernie Madoff, and she’s currently under indictment from the security and exchange commision. Will is furious that April’s lies gave him false hope that the club could be saved.
Out by the busses, Biff confronts Quinn about the secrets she kept from him. The Ryan Seacrest tattoo seems to bother him more than anything! Puck interrupts them. “Was she always this big of a liar?” Biff asks him. Well. Yeah. But Puck loves her anyway.
“A baby?” sputters Biff, “What happens if this kid shows up looking for money. Are you crazy?” He turns to Puck and asks, “Was this the loser that knocked you up?” Puck is about to kick this dude’s ass all the way back to the east coast.
“Where I come from, you carry your past with you,” Biff insists to Quinn. “You are the worst kind of hypocrite. You walk around like you’re Snow White, but you’re really just a dirty little slut bag.”
Expecting Puck to punch his nose, it’s Quinn instead who grabs it to squeeze, until Biff shouts. Then Puck jumps in and begins punching him, eventually shoving him in the dumpster. A Puck specialty. “Do you have any idea how much better you are than this guy?” he shouts before he heads back to the choir room. Quinn is free to join him and the other folks who really care about her.
Back inside, the group vote on the Diva off. “I’m torn,” says Jake. “One is black and the other Jewish.” Will collects the cards just as Rachel and Mercedes enter the room. They realize it was silly, unproductive and narcissistic to expect the class to choose between them. But choose they did…and of course it was a tie. Oh, Glee. Your lucky it’s your 100th anniversary!
April apologizes to the class for getting their hopes up that Glee club could be saved. To make up for it, she spent the last of her air miles to bring Holly Holiday to McKinley! Hola Clase!
How do Holly and April even know each other? There’s a Facebook page devoted just to people who were visitors on Glee! Not only are Holly and April members. But so is Blaine’s brother, Rachel’s mother (Idina Menzel aka Adele Dazeem) and THAT MEXICAN GUY (Ricky Martin lol). No, really. Can I join?
These days, Holly has invented a thing called “teaching pop ups” since she begins to hate a substitute teaching position as soon as she gets to know the students. She just shows up in a classroom, unannounced, teaches a lesson and gets the hell out. Cut to Holly being arrested after she just shows up in a random classroom dressed as William Henry Harrison.
As a forward thinker, Holly believes singing reprises is a terrible idea. ‘This hot bitch is not looking in the rear view mirror.” And with that, she launches into “Happy” and a party ensues! Blaine trades off a few lines with her.
Happy – Holly Holliday (Gwyneth Paltrow) and New Directions
Next, the scenes cut back and forth between Puck and Quinn in the locker room, in front of Finn’s framed football jersey, to Santana and Brittany in deep conversation in a classroom. Puck and Brittany are on duel missions to get their exes to fall in love with them again.
Quinn is at peace with Finn’s memory, knowing that he forgave them a long time ago for the lies they told him about their baby’s paternity. They did Finn a favor, says Quinn. They freed him to find his soulmate, Rachel. Puck knows who is soulmate is, and it’s Quinn. He’s ready to blow Lima, but if she wants him to stay, she just needs to say the word. Despite sending Biff back to Yale, she’s hesitant. He tells Quinn he loves her before he heads back to the choir room. But then, Quinn rushes out to catch up with him, and for a romantic kiss in the hallway. Stay, she says.
Santana is still trying to convince Brittany that there’s more to life than holing up doing math. (Can’t she dance and calculate?) Brittany kisses Santana, who resists. Santana has worked her ass off to get over her. There will be none of that. Brittany pleads her case: She has seen the world, and is sure now more than ever that they belong together. “I’m sure your girlfriend is great,” Brittany says, referring to Dani back in New York, “but you can’t recreate what you and I have.” Britt and Santana’s story doesn’t end as happily…yet. After kissing Santana on the cheek she says, “It’s your choice. I’m here if you want me.”
Will gathers the old schoolers in the auditorium to show them the secret place where he’s decided to hang the plaques of Finn and his teacher, Lillian Adler. Rachel openly weeps as Will thanks the kids for accompanying him on his wild Glee journey. He’s crying. The group hugs. The camera pans up, and there is April and Holly watching from the rafters, determined to do something. But we know how this is going to end. Not good. Part 2 is next week!
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