Glee Episode 13 – Heart – Recap, Photos, Video

Another great episode of Glee, although I have to say I have some mixed feelings about the Kurt/Karovsky twist, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

Ryan Murphy had been talking about casting a Christian character since early Season 2, and now he finally has, creating the part of Joe Hart, a hippie-dippie Jesus follower. He’s so devout; he’s got bible verses tattooed on his chest and has named his dreads after Bible books. Just as I was thinking “so what the heck is this dude going to think of the gay characters?” the issue becomes a plot point when Santana attempts to hire the God squad to perform a singing telegram for Brittany.

The group is an after school Christian group that includes Sam, Mercedes and Quinn. Will they include gay people in their singing telegram fund raiser? It’s a no brainer for the Glee clubbers, who not only love their gay friends, but figure Jesus never said anything about gay people, so no problemo. What’s more–with that one in ten statistic–at LEAST one of the disciples had to be gay, right? And it’s probably Simon, says Mercedes, because that name’s the gayest. Newcomer Joe, who has led a sheltered home schooled life, sincerely,believes he’s never met a gay person. He’s going to have to think about it.

Did anybody freeze frame the white board at the God Squad meeting? On the agenda: PROSTELETYZING, PRAY FOR ARTIE’S LEGS and SECRETLY BAPTIZE PEOPLE. I. Can’t. Even.

In the meantime, Santana and Brittany get busted in the hall for kissing. A little peck! Figgins admits he doesn’t mind, but if it’s upsetting to some, he’s got to toe the line. Santana points out that het couples never get called out on even excessive PDA. Interestingly, shippers of the gay couples in the Glee fandom have been bitching about this very thing. I’ve personally witnessed, Ali Adler, who wrote the episode (and is gay herself) going at it with fans on twitter. This is her and the producers meta answer to the issue. For the first time, Brittany and Santana get to cuddle and kiss. Hooray. But, the ratio of gay to straight PDA was still pretty unbalanced—at one point, Finchel were spooning in bed with Finn practically grabbing Rachel’s breast.

Darren Criss’s Broadway run in “How to Succeed in Business” had him completely absent from last week’s “Spanish Teacher” and only appearing in tonight’s last musical number. That meant barely any Valentines Klaine. Instead, we got an uncomfortable story line that had Kurt believing that daily messages from a secret admirer—one delivered by a guy in a gorilla suit—were sent by Blaine from his sick bed. But surprise! Much to Kurt’s horror the secret crush turns out to be…Karovsky in a gorilla suit.

Oh man. Dave–struggling to come out–is still stuck at thirteen, crushing on a guy he barely has a relationship with, and a terrible one at that. Dave says he hated himself at McKinley, and took it out on Kurt, who was in reality so brave, and in the end, helped him so much.

No matter how contrite Dave is–and I’m still getting a stalker vibe here that creeps me out– it doesn’t change the fact that he was Kurt’s tormentor. As Kurt said, “So you tormented me, shoved me into lockers, called me horrible names, and hate kissed me…now after one conversation in a bar you want us to be together?” Oh. And don’t forget “threatened to kill me.” Kurt’s reaction is to gently tell Dave that he likes him, but just as friends. It should have been “I don’t enter into relationships with my abusers.” Am I right?

Dave is such a tortured soul, and Max Adler plays him with such pathos–but still, I hope Kurt treats him with compassion, but keeps him at arm’s length. That may be tough, as Dave’s plot thickens. The closeted ex-bully’s secret is out, as a schoolmate caught the two of them talking. How Dave reacts to being outed could be either triumph or tragedy, and I am anxious to see how the producers handle it.

So, anyway how did Karovsky, who is quite a bit taller and bigger than Blaine, fool Kurt in that gorilla suit in the first place? And wouldn’t Kurt be communicating with Blaine while he was at home sick?

Back to the God squad! Finn hires them to serenade Rachel in the courtyard with a romantic rendition of “Stereo Hearts”. I’m not sure how I feel about Samuel. I found him stiff and boring on the Glee Project and he has not done much to change my mind about that yet.

The other major storyline has to do with my NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER OMG I LOOOVE YOU SUGAR MOTTA WILL YOU BEEE MY VALENTINE. Vanessa Lengies is an absolute comic genius, I swear. As the rich and clueless Sugar, she not only has some awesome lines, but she knows how to deliver them. Sorta like Heather Morris, but with acting chops.

Sugar not only pays for Glee’s regionals costume and hairspray budget, but her rich daddy rents out Breadstix–which she renames to the Sugar Shack–to throw a huge party, that includes 200 dollar gift cards to the Lima mall and boxes of chocolates! But no single people allowed–they are sad and boring and don’t exist in her world. PS She wants you to know her dad is NOT in the mafia! She hides everyone’s gifts under their chairs—except for Artie who gets his hidden inside a waste basket and a potted plant.

Watching Rory and Artie up the ante as they each try to woo her as a date to her big party is absolutely adorable, especially as the antics are set to Mike and Tina singing a super-charming duet of Nat King Cole’s “L.O.V.E”. When Rory threw down the gantlet by whipping out a 4 leaf clover, I just about died. Kurt: “Do you people just carry those around?” The gifts include an adorable puppy from Rory and a heart filled confetti storm from Rory. Sugar, please stay forever and ever, okthnxgbye.

Coincidentally, Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” was part of the episode. Amber Riley did a beautiful job singing, even if she didn’t stray far from the original. After telling a tearful Shane that she and Sam were kissing on the down low, she decides to forsake love for the time being. The song was Mercedes’ goodbye song to Sam. But chances are, this is a love story that will be continued.

But here, I’m saving the best for almost last. How totally awesome were Rachel’s dads! Where have they been for the past 3 seasons? Now we know why Rachel is so cray cray! Her dads are certifiable but in absolutely THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY! Best lines: “We are going straight for the teenage sex” and “Leroy…these guys sold us the wrong lube! That’s why…it feels really weird when we go really fast.” (Talking about cars to Burt…what did you think it was? HA) I LOVE Jeff Goldblum’s droll humor, and he’s got fantastic chemistry with Brian Stokes Mitchell. PLEASE become semi-regular cast members, a la Burt Hummel.

The couple’s use of reverse psychology to break up their daughter’s engagement–they send them up to Rachel’s bedroom to practice co-habitating–fails almost immediately, prompting Finchel, after a fight, to decide on a May wedding. The dinner scene with the Berrys and the Hummel-Hudsons is just delicious. (I like Carole after three Chardonnays! Exclaims Leroy) The foundations of the Berry family: Honor, Respect and DANCE!

Already, the lines have been drawn. Kurt is against the marriage. He was responsible for Rachel’s Dads finding out—after Kurt snitched to Burt and Carole. Quinn is also NOT team Finchel–her own experiences with growing up too soon informing her opinion. The rest of the club seems to be supportive. But come on! Teen marriage between college bound kids is ridiculous. Rachel wouldn’t even allow Finn to poop in her room! Unless someone is religious and saving themselves for marriage, who does that any more! The previews for next week show them actually going through a ceremony. There’s NO WAY those two tie the knot. Seriously, I’ll eat my left arm if they do.

Sugar is finally won over by Rory when he reveals to the class that he couldn’t get his visa extended and will be leaving the land of Glee soon. He sings “Home” and it’s just lovely. It’s my favorite Rory song so far. After completely melting Sugar’s heart, she asks him if he’ll take her to the party. “It would be my honor,” he answers. Poor Artie—his and the guys’ sexy boy band moves during a performance of Mario’s “Let Me Love You” caught Sugar’s attention, but not for long.

It’s time for the big party! Kurt gets to Breadstix early to meet his “secret admirer” aka Blaine, who turns out to be Dave Karovsky. He’s left devastated, but not for long. Once the party starts, all the ships get their due. Joe Hart strolls over to Santana and Brittany and announces that after thinking and praying about whether he should sing to them or not, he knew there was only one right answer—ABSOLUTELY. “Love is love, man” So that’s that. The God Squad is DOWN WITH THE GAYS Y’ALL. Joe, Quinn, Mercedes and Sam croon a mashup of Cherish/Cherish while the lovebirds cuddle and smooch. Jesus! Hollah!

Poor Kurt, surrounded by happy couples, thinks he’ll be spending Valentines alone,. At least Finn and Rachel, who have ditched the dads to be with their friends, will keep him company. But not so fast! Sugar announces that she’s got a special guest, back from the dead and cute and compact as ever! Blaine strolls through the door and announces that the night is dedicated to lovers everywhere! Kurt is elated as his boy leads Rachel, Brittany and Mercedes in a rousing rendition of “Love Shack”.

Kurt takes over the lead vocals as Blaine playfully pulls his cutie to the stage by his tie. All the couples are together! And maybe a new one is forming as Quinn gives some googly eyes to Teen Jesus, Joe Hart. Will Sugar stick with Rory? Will her Dad buy Ireland to keep him from being deported? It’s pretty clear by Rory’s reactions that he was fibbing about the deportation thing. Oops. The song ends with Kurt declaring lustily, “TIN ROOF RUSTED!” as a shower of balloons falls on the crowd. Happy Valentines day! The episode ends on a sad note—with a tribute placard dedicated to the late Whitney Houston.

Click to Listen to the Music From Heart

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