I would have scored Gilles higher than Sabrina. I thought Gilles and Peta and had the performance of the night. As far as who is going home? Either Kirstie and Maks or Kelly and Val.

Hey. I’m STILL looking for a full time Dancing with the Stars live recapper! Contact me at mjsbigblog at gmail dot com if you are interested.

In the meantime, here we go with week 2 of The Dancing With The Stars All-Stars. BTW, I WON’T be covering the hour of filler tomorrow at 8 pm. I’ll be covering the results at 9 pm only. I’ll put up a post at 8 pm if folks are interested in discussing the pre-results special on the All Stars.

Melissa and Tony – Jive – Melissa gets a second chance at the Jive. Back in 2009, she was injured and was unable to perform the dance live. She’s back to prove herself. Melissa is so cheerleader-perfect, she’s actually boring to watch. SO DAMN PERKY. Len says, “Full of energy, great technique. I loved it.” Bruno says, “Fastest girl in town.” Bruno tries to criticize her footwork and Len tells him to shut up. Carrie Ann says, “You are made to Jive.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 7.5 – 23.5 – 1-800-868-3406

Bristol and Mark – Quickstep – Bristol is dancing to “Redneck Woman” because “it’s so me.” She said it! I didn’t. She brings Mark to a shooting range. Yippie. She says “being at the gun range triggers something in me that wants to do really well.” Alrighty, then. Slowest. Quickstep. Ever. Her footwork is atrocious. At one point, she looked confused. Still, it’s improvement over last season, which isn’t saying much, I know. Bruno says, “It was like watching the quickstep goes Ganham style. You’ve got to work on the technique.” Carrie Says, “You slammed us in the face by breaking hold. But I like watching you dance now.” Lens says, “I liked the hoedown, but the technique was lowdown.” Why would Mark choreograph a routine that broke rules? Is he trying to get Bristol eliminated? – Carrie Ann – 6, Len – 6, Bruno – 6, - 18 – 1-800-868-3409

Helio and Chelsie – Jive – Helio says he’s used to being fast, but not on the dance floor. He takes Chelsie out to the race track. Helio is a little hammy, but he’s lots of fun. He combines energy, performance skillz and technique. No wonder he won his season! Carrie Ann says, “You were right on it!” Len says, “You got style with a smile. You want, joy, fun entertainment. And we got that.” Bruno says, “It was a delicious treat of a jive. Sometimes you punted a little high. It doesn’t take away from the fun of the dance.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 7.5, Bruno 7.5 – 23 – 1-800-868-3404

Apolo and Karina – Quickstep – Karina kicked Apolo right in the face and Apolo gave Karina a head butt during rehearsal. OUCH. Now…THIS is a quickstep. Apolo’s footwork is fantastic! And he and Karina look like they are having a ball up there. Loads of fun. Len says, “Gold Medal! Speed with control. Well done” Bruno says, “You footwork was incredible. Wonderful.” Carrie Ann says, “Somebody put on his competition pants. I felt you were truly driving the dance.” Remember, last week Len only gave Apolo a bronze medal… Carrie Ann – 8.5, Len – 8, Bruno – 24.5 – 1-800-868-3407

Sabrina and Louis – Quickstep – Uh oh. Sabrina and Louis trip trying to do a trick on the stairs. She’s hurt. She cut her arm. Will she keep the move in? They keep it in. Sabrina is very energetic. Bruno says, “Is it Ginger Rogers at her best? The variations were incredible. A dazzler.” Carrie Ann says, “That was ridiculous. Your lines were fantastic. It was awesome.” Len says, “The hits just keep on coming. You kept you upper body calm and under control. Great quickstep. – Carrie Ann – 9, Len – 8.5, Bruno, 8.5 – 26 – 1-800-868-3403

Kirstie and Max – Jive – Max tied rubber gloves around her knees to get her footwork right. Max refuses to train her like a 60 year old. The competition is so stiff with the all stars, I’m wondering how far Kirstie can go. I’m thinking not very far, because everyone is younger. Her routine is good considering her age, but she won’t be able to keep up. Carrie Ann says, “You are working it and age is just a number.” Len says, “Dirty, Dirty Kirstie. It was neat, it was precise, I thought it was a great improvement.” Bruno says, “The girl works hard for her money. Experience counts. You played it beautifully.” Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 7, Bruno – 7 – 21 – 1-800-868-3412

Emmitt and Cheryl – Quickstep – He can’t keep his head up straight because he’s been hit in the head in football so many times. YIKES. He’s good, but not as stellar as last week. This was actually a little boring. Apolo, the speed skater he made fun of, kicked his ass. Len says, “I liked that cool cat attitude. The upper body was lacking. But overall feeling was lacking. Bruno says, “Red hot chemistry with Cheryl. You lost your timing.” Carrie Ann says, “The speed skater and the race car driver did a little better than you.” Yep. Emmitt has to watch that trash talking. – Carrie Ann, 7.5, Len 7.5, Bruno 7.5 – 22.5 – 1-800-868-3413

Drew and Anna – Jive – Drew, former champion, was in the bottom 2 for the first time. A slap will start off the Jive, to remind Drew to dance better! He tells Anna not to hurt his money maker. “That’s why I’m broke,” he quips. They dance a heavy metal Jive, dressed in leather and studs. Drew has improved a lot over last week’s performance. Brother Nick is watching from the audience. Bruno says, “The energy and the attack. Be careful, you got flat footed. But very powerful.” Carrie Ann says, “Welcome home Drew.” Len says, “You’ve got to get on the balls of your feet. Bottom 2 Drew. Not this week!” Carrie Ann – 7.5, Len – 7.5, Bruno – 7.5 – 22.5 – 1-800-868-3408

Joey and Kym – Quickstep – WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS MUSIC. Creep done as a big band number? OKEE DOKE. OMG. Joey is dressed as Charlie Chaplin and pulling the stupidest faces. This routine is totally bizarre. I can’t even concentrate on the dancing. Carrie Ann, “You nailed that performance, but you did have a few mistakes.” Len says, “I really enjoyed it (despite the bad technique). Concentrate on your entertainment.” Bruno, “Yes, technically it could have been better. But you’re an entertainer.” Carrie Ann – 7.5, Len – 7.5, Bruno – 7.5 – 22.5. – 1-800-868-3401

Shawn and Derek – Jive – This week, Shawn is pulling out the gymnastics! Was it just me? I zoned out part way through their routine. Len says, “It was a just enough Jive for me. You a want to see more than enough.” Bruno says, “That was vibrant, exhilarating, eye popping.” Carrie Ann says, “I agree with everything Bruno says. I dub you the all stars sweethearts.” I’m Team Len on this one. Oh. Derek has a back injury. That could be a problem. Carrie Ann – 8.5, Len – 8, Bruno – 8.5 – 25 – 1-800-868-3402

Kelly and Val – Quickstep – OMG Kelly makes Val wear balloons on his chest so that he knows how difficult it is for her to keep her frame straight with her giant breasts. If a quickstep can be elegant, that was. Nice job. Bruno says, “Extremely elegant. Great on the side to side. You messed up a couple of steps.” Carrie Ann says, “Watch your lines on the outer hold.” Len says I preferred the part that was out of hold. Overall you did a great job.” Carrie Ann – 7.5, Len – 7, Bruno – 7.5 – 22 – 1-800-868-3411

Next week the all-stars will re-interpret old routines. Hm. The all stars will be in charge!

Gilles and Peta – Jive – Gilles had a really hard time doing the Jive with his pulled hamstring. He needs time to rest a week or two. The dancing is making the injury worse. Uh oh. But he’s determined to persevere. Wow. This is fantastic. Not only an entertaining and SEXY performance, but the technique is fantastic. I AM TOTALLY TEAM GILLES. He wants to dedicate the song “Don’t Stop Me Now” to his dad, who died 17 years ago today. Carrie Ann says, “Kicks and Flicks are the best of the night.” Len says, “You got to be consistent. Fabulous.” Bruno says, “Let the good times roll!” Carrie Ann – 8.5, Len – 8.5, Bruno – 8.5 – 25.5. – 1-800-868-3410

Sabrina and Louis – 26
Gilles and Peta - 25.5
Shawn and Derek – 25
Apolo and Karina – 24.5
Melissa and Tony – 23.5
Helio and Chelsie – 23
Emmitt and Cheryl – 22.5
Drew and Anna – 22.5
Joey and Kym – 22.5
Kelly and Val – 22
Kirstie and Max – 21
Bristol and Mark - 18