I’ll be live-blogging the Billboard Music Awards 2011 tonight. Kris Allen’s “Live Like We’re Dying” is nominated for Top Christian Song, but probably won’t be aired live. I’ll post the complete list of winners as soon as it’s available. Ken Jeong hosts.

  • See the list of Nominees HERE.

Cee Lo Green, Nicki Minaj, Pitbull, Jennifer Lopez, Black Eyed Peas, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Keith Urban, Neil Diamond and Taio Cruz are some of the artists set to perform tonight.

  • UPDATE: Check out the complete list of winners at Billboard.COM HERE. “Our God” by Chris Tomlin won Top Christian Song

It felt like I saw those performances many times already, on other awards shows.  Rihanna, Britney, BEP, Ke$sha et al–you are BORING THE SNOT OUT OF ME. Argh. Three hours I wont’ get back. Not really sure why Billboard felt their failed awards show was worth bringing back.

Rihanna opens the show with a performance of “S&M”. She’s dressed in a white leather bustier with nearly-thigh high boots. And LOOK! THERE’S BRITNEY SPEARS! Dressed in matching black, she’s looking like a deranged playboy bunny before she takes her mask off. She looks pretty good. At least she’s smiling.

Host Ken Jeong takes the stage to sing an Oscar like musical number. I think it’s supposed to be funny? IDK. Nicki Minaj joins him. Her singing isn’t much better than Hangover dude. OMG PAT MONAHAN TAKES THE  STAGE. F*CKING KILL ME KNOW.  Now they’re launching into a “comedy routine. Oooooo. Ken proves he can play the piano. Now he’s singing off-key Coldplay with Nicki squirming on top of the piano. Embarrassingly unfunny.

Matthew Morrison takes the stage to introduce the artists up for Album Artist of the Year goes to Taylor Swift. Thank you thank you blah blah blah. Put your award on the shelf next to the others, Taylor.

Ken Jeong and Eric Stonestreet take the stage dressed as Elvis impersonators.  Eric insults Ken who runs away crying…or something.  Who are the writers on the show? May they never work again.  Digital Artist of the Year goes to Justin Beiber.  His video for “Baby” has had like, a gazillion views. Justin thanks the people responsible for “getting me out of my hometown.”

Kylie Minogue takes the stage to introduce The Black Eyed Peas. They sing “Just Can’t Get Enough”/”I Got a Feeling”. Ho Hum.

Next, a filmed bit with Ken Jeong “doing” Vegas on his 20 minute break. Comedy bits are LAME LAME LAME.

The super-hot Keith Urban takes the stage, just when we needed him. He sings “Long Hot Summer”.  There’s wife, Nicole Kidman, in the audience!

Randy Jackson takes the stage DAWG.  “What’s goin down What’s goin down”.  Randy reveals the Hot 100 Song of Year and it is “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz. The song was on the Hot 100 for 46 weeks.

Ken Jeong is back, wearing Viking horns…WTF? Poor Nas has to play along while he introduces Pitbull and Neyo. They rap about American Idol and Ryan Seacrest or something in the middle of “Give Me Everything”.

Tim Allen announces the winner of Country Song of the Year. It goes to “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum. It set atop the country chart for 5 weeks and was a cross-over hit. With 5 million in sales, it’s the all time most downloaded country song.

BEYONCE Mom, Dad, sis, Michele Obama, Lady Gaga, Bono, The Dream, Stevie Wonder, Babyface, Barbara Streisand, celebrate the superstar in a celebratory video package. Look! It’s an army of Beyonce’s singing “Run the World”. CA-RAZY special effects. This is better than that crappy video that ran on Idol Wednesday, however. HA HA IN YOUR FACE MATT MORRISON. I think she skeered Matt, getting right up into his face. Beyonce makes her way to where momma Tina Knowles is standing to present her daughter with the Billboard Millennium Award. Beyonce thanks ALL the members of Destiny’s Child. And hubby, Jay-Z of course. “I want to soak this all in” says Beyonce, “This will be one of the best memories of my life”

Selena Gomez and little dude from “Modern Family” present the Top Duo/Group award to The Black Eyed Peas. In the last year, BEP had 4 Top 10 Hot 100 hits. Shout out to Jimmy Iovine! Will.i.am thanks “technology” that’s got to be a first. Taboo thanks his wife: “Thanks for the great baby,”

Kelly Rowland and Trey Songs introduces Cee Lo Greene, the winner of the Viral Innovator Award. He sings “Crazy”, “Bright Lights, Bigger City”, “Forget You” at a floating piano that appears to be malfunctioning (up or down?). The piano is traveling! Now Cee lo is upside down! (or appears to be) When he finishes, he looks at his watch and gives the “OK” sign. That “medley” was a disjointed mess.

Ken Jeong is on stage with Keith Urban. They both have banjos. Oh, poor Keith. Also forced to engage in some sad comedy with Ken. A banjo duel turns into Ken smashing his banjo “Smashing beats talent.” No, it really doesn’t.

It’s time for Lady Antebellum to take the stage to display their barely-country stylings, performing “Just a Kiss”–another cross-over hit for me to hate with the power of 10 thousand suns.

Joe Jonas takes the stage to present Radio Artist of the Year. And it goes to Rihanna.

Taio Cruz takes the stage to sing his mega-hit “Break Your Heart”/”Dynamite”. Dance baby Dance.

Snoop Dogg and the Far East Movement take the stage. OMG Snoop’s microphone is a big silver “Snoop Dogg” that practically covers his face. The present the award for Top New Artist to Justin Beiber. All 4 of his albums debuted in the Top 10 of the BB 200, 2 of them debuting at #1. The Beebs is thanks God before launching into a bunch of inarticulate stuff, reminding us that he really is only 17.

Enrique Iglesias and Shakira won Latin awards…the list of winners is up at ABC.com

Ken Jeong back for more unfunny, challenging Travis Barker to a drum battle. Ugh, these bits are pitiful.

Far East Movement and One Republic take the stage to sing “Rocketeer”. PITCHY DAWG. Snoop Dogg is back to sing “OMG (If I Was You)” Zzzz.

Keri Hilson introduces Mary J. Blige and Lil’ Wayne (who is immediately bleeped). They sing “Someone to Love Me.” Mary J. rocks it out. Little Weezy? Not so much.

Pat Monahan presents Country Artist of the Year to Taylor Swift. She’s the 1st artist to post 5 top 10s from each of her 1st two album.

Kid Rock tells us how HAPPY he is to be in Las Vegas before introducing Ke$ha. Have you sent Ke$sha your teeth? Not kidding. She wants to make a necklace from teeth sent to her by fans. She sings a medley of….zzzz. Dudes in horseheads with toy guns shoot confetti all over the audience.

Will.i.am says some stars create in the studio but can’t perform live. Lack of self-awareness for the win! He introduces Bono, who can, indeed, play live. A video package about the U2 360 tour runs. This stadium tour will have 10K minimum $30 seats. Oh, I remember when U2 played a rinky dink bar in my hometown in the early 80′s. Kicking myself for missing that. The band appears  on stage to receive the touring award.

Ken Jeong introduces the winner of Billboard’s Fan Favorite award to Justin Beeber! He presents Top Female Artist to Rihanna.

The Script takes the stage to present The Battle of the Bands winner. A bunch of bands competed against each other in Las Vegas. Mark McGrath hosted the competish. Gentleman Hall from Boston won! They take the stage to perform. They are Billboard’s Heatseeker of the Year.

Taylor Swift introduces Nicki Minaj who is performing “Super Bass” with a very strange nautical theme, and a GIANT CHICKEN. Big shirtless guys sitting in chairs NOT DANCING. Here comes BRITNEY to sing one verse and the chorus of “”Til the World Ends”. Barely there Britney. These cameos she’s making tonight are so random.

Matthew Morrison takes the stage to introduce Neil Diamond. Video package celebrates Neil the hitmaker and charismatic live performer. Neil receives the Billboard Icon Award. Neil’s going straight to Google after the show to figure out how an Icon is supposed to behave. His kids appear to be in the audience. Now it’s time to sing along with “Sweet Caroline”. Neil is speak/singing his songs now? Sadz. It’s like William Shatner showed up to sing. “Coming to America” is next. He sings this one. Big choir joins in! Best performance of the whole evening. I’m serious.

2011 Billboard Music Awards Winners:

ARTIST AWARDS

Top Artist:
Eminem

Top New Artist:
Justin Bieber

Top Male Artist:
Eminem

Top Female Artist:
Rihanna

Top Duo/Group:
The Black Eyed Peas

Top Billboard 200 Artist:
Taylor Swift

Top Hot 100 Artist:
Katy Perry

Top Digital Songs Artist:
Katy Perry

Top Radio Songs Artist:
Rihanna

Top Touring Artist:
U2

Top Social Artist:
Justin Bieber

Top Streaming Artist:
Justin Bieber

Top Digital Media Artist:
Justin Bieber

Top Pop Artist:
Lady Gaga

Top R&B Artist:
Usher

Top Rap Artist:
Eminem

Top Country Artist:
Taylor Swift

Top Rock Artist:
Train

Top Alternative Artist:
Mumford & Sons

Top Latin Artist:
Shakira

Top Dance/Electronic Artist:
Lady Gaga

Top Christian Artist:
Chris Tomlin

SPECIAL AWARDS:

Millennium Award:
Beyonce

Touring Award:
U2

Icon Award:
Neil Diamond

 
  • girlygirl
  • girlygirl

    here’s live stream for the actual telecast. Rihanna is opening the show performing S&M

    http://www.tvpc.tv/Channel.php?ChannelID=3043

  • girlygirl

    I guess that was the “surprise” someone was teasing — Britney guest spot on S&M

  • tripp_ncwy

    Billboarddotcom:
    Stripper poles, chains & leather for the “S&M” remix! #bbma

  • lac123

    I’ve already seen this opening number. But it was closing the AMAs in 2009… Nice ABC…

  • girlygirl

    is it weird that the 1st award they give out is for Album artist of the year?

    Taylor Swift looks good

  • SparklesATL

    Does anyone know what’s going on with Susan Boyle? I don’t hear much about her these days.

  • girlygirl

    hahaha

    RT @PopWrap: RT @jmccormack33: Every time Taylor Swift acts surprised to win an award, an angel loses its wings.

  • girlygirl

    SparklesATL

    I heard recently that music publishers have been told not to submit any more ballads to Susan Boyle. She wants “edgy” material.

    ooooooooooooooo-kay 0_0

  • bentley1530

    So how does this work? Are the winners the number 1 in each category or do they have a voting panel?

    JB is starting to grow up a bit.

  • girlygirl

    so Bieber decided since he’s in Vegas he should wear a gold lame jacket?

    And boy he is tiny

  • girlygirl

    oh no, it’s BEP. Mute mute mute

  • Dakota01

    Does anyone else think that the number with Pat Monahan and Nicky Minaj was truly heinous? I had to tune out after that horrific display.

  • blmetsfan

    It’s amazing that any of the Idols can have careers given what’s “popular” right now. Yes, BEP, I’m taking about you. Oy.

  • dcglam

    After all she has been through in her personal life, am I the only one who has “issues” with Rihanna singing (and performing) S & M — Chains and whips excite me?? Performing artists often do pull material from their current and prior experiences. Sadly, this may be all that Rihanna knows.

  • bentley1530

    I keep praying that the peas 15 minutes of fame will be up but someone keeps buy their music. Why? This latest album sounds like rejects from the last album.

  • tripp_ncwy

    So how does this work? Are the winners the number 1 in each category or do they have a voting panel?

    The winners are tops in their respective category based on the stats collected by Billboard.

  • jlc

    So far, this is the lamest award show I’ve ever seen. Switching over to 60 Minutes cuz I’m not gonna sit through 90% crap just to see one or two performers I might like. Just came here to say that I can’t believe ABC got so bent out of shape over Adam’s performance a couple years ago, yet, they are ok with two half-naked strippers air-fucking.

  • OnePlusSix

    So over the Black Eyed Peas, plus Fergie looked a mess and the number was blah.

  • SparklesATL

    girlygirl, I wonder what Susan Boyle considers “edgy”?

    Has anyone else noticed sometimes these “artists” have forgotten to hold the mic to their face and yet their voice is still heard? I’m wondering if they are singing over a recorded track?

  • girlygirl

    Now this is better — hi Keith!

  • halo9125

    Wooo hoooo, Keith Urban!

    OMG Randy- stick to the sweaters.

  • OnePlusSix

    Keith Urban – oh so good on the eyes and ears.

    Randy Jackson – what are you wearing and how old are you? A little classy (not) chewing gum like a twelve year old. Give me a break.

  • halo9125

    I heard recently that music publishers have been told not to submit any more ballads to Susan Boyle. She wants “edgy” material.

    Edgy as in when Barry Manilow sang Copacabana?

  • jersey

    Does Pitbull record with everyone?

  • bentley1530

    I do not get Pitbull, he sounds exactly the same on every record. I wonder how much he gets paid to do a featured rap on a single?

  • girlygirl

    at least the acceptance speeches are real short

  • Nina1

    They can’t afford chairs that don’t scooch for this thing? They afforded swaybots.

    I think we now know why country award shows are popular. Why do these pop things feature autotune and too small bathing suits?

  • OnePlusSix

    at least the acceptance speeches are real short

    Thank heavens for that and what the heck was Tim Allen doing presenting a music award?

    It may not be the most entertaining show yet but it is moving along rather quickly.

  • Nina1

    After all she has been through in her personal life, am I the only one who has “issues” with Rihanna singing (and performing) S & M

    It’s not just you. I missed it tonight, but I saw it on another show and was dumbfounded.

  • kmd

    I think the Celebrity Apprentice finale looks better than this awards show. I have been watching Apprentice all season so maybe that is why too.

  • girlygirl

    why has this show suddenly become a Beyonce tribute?

  • luval

    Oh, please…not that girl power song…the video is hideous.

    And ABC you are a bunch of hypocrites.

  • girlygirl

    this song stinks, Beyonce

  • blmetsfan

    This song is so bad! Dear God. I mean, she can get any song from any writer in the world, and this is what she picks?

  • OnePlusSix

    I’m definitely multi-tasking tonight. I have Celebrity Apprentice on one TV and Billboard Award on the big screen and come here for the comments. Love it.

  • luval

    OnePlusSix…doin’ the same thing!

  • cookbunny

    Cee Lo is upside down at his rotating piano, WHAAAAAAA?!?!?!

  • iluvai

    Cee Lo is upside down at his rotating piano, WHAAAAAAA?!?!?!

    That piano turned all the way around!!! :)

  • OnePlusSix

    OnePlusSix…doin’ the same thing!

    Plus I’m taping both for replay in case I miss something hysterical. Haha.

  • OnePlusSix

    It’s getting so that musicians are trying to outdo each other with the most outrageous antics.

  • luval

    haha OnePlusSix…I’m not going that far!! You are correct about the antics. When will it end?

  • girlygirl

    Cee Lo is always fun

    Keith playing banjo = hot

  • luval

    Luv Rhianna’s white suit. Very classy.

  • OnePlusSix

    So far this award show has lots of room for improvement.

  • OnePlusSix

    Rihanna looks stunning in this suit, only goes to prove that you can wear clothes (not semi nude) and look good.

  • blmetsfan

    Bieber’s speeches :X

  • tripp_ncwy

    Kris lost out on Top Christian Song. :-(

  • girlygirl

    Not surprised that LLWD didn’t win. Chris Tomlin is a huge Christian music star and unlike LLWD, “Our God” really is a Christian song, not one that simply crossed over

    But it was still nice that Kris got nominated. Maybe next year Mandisa will be nominated in that category, since her current single is doing so well.

  • OnePlusSix

    But it was still nice that Kris got nominated

    Agree, just to be in the category is a feather in his hat. Bravo.

  • fuzzywuzzy

    Ryan Tedder can’t sing well live.

  • OnePlusSix

    Snopp Dogg got his dog ears going on.

  • iani

    Who are those guys, Tokyo Mafia?! And Snoop with a school girl hair dew? From 3 to 10, Tedder has from me a 10 for performance, 6 for singing and 5 for stealing hairstyles.

  • OnePlusSix

    Hot and heavy over at the Apprentice. Still watching the awards too, but just not doing it for me.

  • OnePlusSix

    MJ, I applaud you for the excellent job you do with this site…it must be grueling at times – Kudos!

  • OnePlusSix

    Is Gaga performing tonight? If so, they must be saving her to close out the show.

  • bentley1530

    For a moment I thought Keisha had gone all serious artist on us but now she is up to her usual stupid stuff.

  • iani

    Man, hope there are some kids to enjoy the red horse-heads! And now a very “intellectual” entrance of Will… And my secret love!
    Is it a watermelon in Will’s pants?

  • OnePlusSix

    U2 are concerting here in July.

  • Mel1

    U2 has $30 tickets? You won’t believe how much we paid for our tickets, and they aren’t even that close. Even more than we paid for Adam Lambert tickets, but at least they were close.

  • bentley1530

    I am a little surprised, I thought KP had a bigger year than Rihanna but based on this show that is not the case.

  • OnePlusSix

    U2 tickets: Reserved grandstand seats will be available at $29.50, $99.50, & $199.50, while general admission tickets are $65.00 each. A limited number of Red Zone tickets will also be available at $275.00.

  • iani

    The darling of innocence, miss TS! And the torture of marine-swimsuits ladies and their seated victims! Oh, Britney!

  • OnePlusSix

    It looks like ABC is coming around (lap dances?).

  • Q3

    Ke$ha’s performance looked like high-opera compared to Nicki Minaj and Britney. Seriously, what was was that bird doing in there?

  • OnePlusSix

    Barely there Britney. These cameos she’s making tonight are so random.

    She doesn’t look comfortable being there, sort of out of place, if you know what I mean. That being said though, she looks good.

  • OnePlusSix

    Not too moldy Neil for 70 years. Kudos.

  • mmb

    Always good to see Neil d. I saw him live a few years ago ( was on my bucket list….) and he sounded great. Not so great tonite but he looks good

  • nncw

    Finally someone I can get excited about – yeah Neil Diamond!

  • iani

    Touchy moment of recognition, great singer and music!

  • bentley1530

    Britney and Nicki are touring together, right? I do not think this performance tonight sold any tickets.

  • Q3

    Best performance of the night is by a 70 year old. And he did it without guys dressed as birds or red seahorses.

  • googletot

    I’ve seen Neil Diamond three times in his younger year, and he put on one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. Sad to see him getting older, but then we all are.

  • Grammie Kari

    Neil Diamond is the ultimate performer, but at age 70 he isn’t what he use to be. How sad it took the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 20 years to induct him – same with the BillBoard Icon Award. Still loved this segment. What a great way to end the show!

    Second favorite moment was the details on the awesome U2 tour.

    Third favorite moment was the tribute to Beyonce and her performance.

    The rest was forgettable.

  • callmecrazy

    I thought Beyonce’s performance was very cool to watch….much better than the video for sure.

    Must have taken a whole lot of practice to get the moves down right to match the screen moves….kudos to her for that alone.

  • HighOnElliott

    Best performance of the night is by a 70 year old. And he did it without guys dressed as birds or red seahorses.

    Can I hear an Amen! Other than Neil, most of the show was better with the mute button on…….:(

  • alxsavage

    I just read in a U2 fansite twitter account that Paul Mcguinness (U2′s manager) accidentally spilled the beans on backstage cam: “Idol rehearsal tomorrow…but I think that was supposed to be a secret”.

    Seems like rumors were true, at least it means there’s something for me to look forward to in such a boring finale.

  • TwigLA

    I just read in a U2 fansite twitter account that Paul Mcguinness (U2?s manager) accidentally spilled the beans on backstage cam: “Idol rehearsal tomorrow…but I think that was supposed to be a secret”.

    Maybe he didn’t get the memo that it’s been reported (at least here in LA) that they’d be on the Finale for over a week. I’m looking forward to it, including the Spiderman performance which is the reason they’re doing it.

  • TwigLA

    I’m not surprised Kris and ‘Live Like We’re Dying’ didn’t take Christian song of the year. I am surprised that tobyMac didn’t get that and album of the year.

    I doubt that Kris is disappointed since he’s not a Christian artist, just an artist who happens to be Christian.

  • OnePlusSix

    et al–you are BORING THE SNOT OUT OF ME. Argh. Three hours I wont’ get back.

    I tend to agree, MJ. I realize that we ALL have our favorites and there’s no way to please everyone, however, it’s the same faces/voices over and over at every award show and their performances are pretty much predictable. I understand the reasoning but I do believe that with the enormous amount of talent out there it would be wise to expose some of the lesser who are just as fantastic but haven’t been put on pedestals yet (mix it up, for variety, if nothing else). I enjoy being introduced to the “up and comings” or the “around for a while and haven’t broken throughs”. There’s no shortage of what we’re fed on a daily basis of Rihanna, Beyonce, etc. etc. Just a thought.

  • bridget

    Wow – that was a bad awards show. So many performers, even ones I usually like, seemed there in body only, not spirit. Especially Britney, who looked lovely, but seemed lifeless. Beyonce’s dancing with the graphics was the highpoint for me, and I thought her acceptance speech seemed sweet and genuine. Almost everything else – forced, fake, half-hearted, awkward, and/or tired. Finally tuned out and evidently missed the best performance at the end!