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The last night of auditions are titled “Last chance auditions,” which is basically a “Best of the Rest” episode. The auditions are over tonight. Next week, AGT heads to Las Vegas. Tomorrow night MAY be a repeat, or a recap episode. The schedule may be off due to the Stanley Cup schedule.
So far, I’m not super enthralled with any of the talent. Maybe something interesting will emerge in Las Vegas this week. The producers may want a non-singer to win this year. That would be terrific, but difficult. Last year’s low rent Sinatra impersonator, Landau Eugene Murphy beat out more worthy contenders (Team iLuminate!). Singers have won basically every single season of America’s Got Talent. Even Season 2 winner, the ventriloquist, Terry Fator, sang as part of this act. Yep. It’s going to be tough.
Thea and Smooch Piggy – Smooch is supposedly a trained pig. But she wasn’t too cooperative. She kind of managed to do one trick. Piggy spent part of the time snoozing on her pad in her little pink tutu. While her trainer tried to cajole her into performing, piggy was having none of that. Howie and Howard say no. Sharon, inexplicably says yes. I know Sharon is an animal lover, but come on.
Next, is a series of trainwreck acts, including a Karate guy who slaps people like something out of the 3 Stooges, a female rapper who is “all about empowerment”, a cross dressing ballerina and more disasters.
Lil Star – Six year old tap dancer. This little one has swagger, for sure. Betting she’s also on the pageant circuit. Howie: You’re really really good. Sharon: You were on fire up there! Howard liked her, but doesn’t think it’s a million dollar act. She reveals that she does more than just tap dance, she’s studying many styles of dance.Howie and Sharon say yes, overriding Howard. Personally, I would say NO to all the six year olds who audition. Kids should be in school, playing hopscoctch and climbing trees. They don’t belong on TV Howard gets that. Sharon, not so much.
A montage of successful auditions: Midnight Circus, screechy band covering Adele (not sure how they got through), Mimey dancers (ugh), Smooth R&B singer, impressionist, Octegenarian tap dance duo…all make it through.
Jacob Williams – Deadpan office worker weirdo wants to be a stand up comedian. He’s very droll and witty, but NERVOUS. The audience loves it. Howard and Howie stand up immediately. -Sharon wants to know where Jacob has been hiding. Howie says he has a career ahead of him. Jacob thanks him gratefully. Howard calls him spectacular. Jacob looks like he’s going to pass out. 3 yeses.
787 Crew – Dance crew came all the way from Puerto Rico to audition. The routine is full of tricks and acrobatics. Sharon “absolutely loved it” Howie found it dangerous, exciting, original. Howard thought it was one the best dance acts so far. One of the guys becomes very emotional talking about how hard it was to raise the money to get to auditions. Howard says it was an investment worth making, because they could win. 3 yeses.
Trish Paytas – She’s a computer programmer, but looks like a porn star. She raps fast. That’s her shtick. Howard buzzed her right away. She confesses that she just made up a talent so she could meet Howard Stern. He gives her a big hug after joining on stage. After that, Howard softens up (or maybe the opposite. Hm.) and says yes. Sharon and Howie say no.
Mark Ofuji – He claims to be an impressionist, but he does each of his impressions in his thick Japanese accent. A total joke that I don’t think he’s in on. The crowd boos him immediately. Oh. Turns out he’s a massage therapist. “I don’t think this spot is going to have a happy ending,” says Howie. Another joke that probably went right over Mark’s head.
Mary Joyner – Twenty-one year old singer. Her mother was the late Florence Joyner and dad Al Joyner . Both were Track and Field Olympians in the 80s. Mary was only 7 years old when her mother passed away. She knows she’ll be on stage with her as she auditions. She performs “Gravity.” It’s OK. She’d get past the audition phase on Idol. Maybe. She’s off pitch and struggles on the high notes. But the crowd is with her. So are the judges. She’ll get through because of her back story. Howie says, “We just fell in love with you.” Howard says she had him in 30 seconds. Sharon calls her moving and genuine. Her backstory is a double-wammy – Dead mommy + Celebrity parents. Howie calls dad out on stage before delivering the news that Mary is going to Las Vegas.
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