How Do You Spell Melania?
I have to apologize, I missed the first ten minutes or so of the show tonight. Unfortunately, that means I can’t describe the thrilling recap of last week, or the predictable trash-talking interviews about Omarosa.
Nor can I tell you what incredibly famous location Trump chose to deliver this week’s task.
I can tell you (from the endless retellings by the celebrities following each commercial break) that the teams were tasked with creating a slogan for Mrs. Melania Trump’s line of skin care products. Which apparently contain caviar. They then have to create a display for a two-page advertorial and present it to Mrs. Melania herself. That’s Melania. With an “e.”
As I tuned in Dennis Rodman was delivering a monologue about how he doesn’t like to tell people what to do and so doesn’t want to be the Project Manager. Naturally, this means that he’s take on the Project Manager role for Team Power.
We see Melania meeting with the team, Dennis asking her inappropriate questions about the contents of her bathroom, and Trace looking disgusted.
The meeting with Plan B yields some actual information. We find out that the target customers for the product are mothers, wives, and businesswomen. Also, that the products are “synergistic.” None of this ends of mattering in the least.
Dennis Rodman’s style of project management is to do nothing at all. Consequently, his team ends up filling in the gaps. Trace takes on the task of creating the slogan and advertorial. Lil Jon takes charge of prop shopping for their photo-shoot. Brande fills the gap in trash-talking by telling the camera that Dennis doesn’t know how to delegate. There is a fun moment when Trace wishes they could have a task about stuff he knows about — like horse manure — for once.
Over at Plan-B, Project Manager Penn Jillette decides the most important part of the task is creating a good slogan. He comes up with “Nourish your skin with caviar.” Everybody likes it until Marilu and Lisa think about it for a minute and then they call Penn from prop shopping to tell him they hate it. They come up with “Let your skin taste the luxury.” Penn is so pleased that he tells them to blow their shooting budget by spending a “promiscuous amount” of money on caviar.
Lil Jon grabs every gold object he can find in the prop shop, while Dennis stands around playing with small objects. Back at the work suite, Trace oversees some “little girl” graphic designer as she sets his slogan, “Simply Melania… Simply Luxury.” (Actually, she’s setting the slogan “Simply Milania… Simply Luxury,” which is going to come back to bite the team in their collective asses.)
While this is happening, Ivanka shows up to Team Power. She likes what they have come up with. She thinks it’s wise that Dennis delegated the creative work to Trace. Since he’s able to, you know, work.
Eric shows up at the Plan-B Headquarters. Penn rudely interrupts Eric’s goal of acquiring dirt on the project by telling people to get back to work. According to Penn, his team mates are like sled dogs and Eric is a cart full of hamburger. As soon as he shows up, the dogs can’t help rushing him to get their daily allotment of camera time.
We get a glimpse of Dennis Rodman signing off on the advertorial pages before they’re sent to the printer. Still with the misspell “Milania” on them.
Then we see a couple second of the presentations. Penn seems as pompous as he ever was, delivering Plan-B’s spiel. He inadvertently refers to Melania as the “spokesperson” for the product line, which is an insult. He also stresses the team’s use of real caviar in the shoot in a bizarre attempt to impress a woman who uses caviar as a facial mask. It almost makes Gary sound sane when he starts spouting off on Melania’s miracle skin. Meanwhile, Stephen smiles and prepares to throw his team mates under the bus.
When it’s Team Power’s turn, Dennis sensibly turns over the presentation to Brande. She makes sure to mention her mother/wife/businesswoman connection to Melania. Melania appears to be responding to this presentation until the display pages are set up and she sees the misspelling of her name. Then, it’s as if she has turned to a simply elegant piece of ice sculpture. Brande ends her presentation to a chilling silence.
The Board Room is fairly short this week. Team Power’s players try to praise Dennis while dropping hints that he is “scattered” and unable to handle the logistics of a task. Trump commends Brande for her presentation.
Penn names Marilu and Lisa as the standout players on his team. Gary takes a moment to pitch himself as a spokesman for Melania’s skincare products, vowing to bring in both homosexual and heterosexual men. Marilu takes a minute to extoll Melania’s beauty.
Trump then has the team trade advertorial pages to comment on. Stephen immediately catches the “Milania” typo and team power goes from having a fighting chance at a win to complete humiliation in the space of thirty seconds.
It’s game over and everybody knows it. Trump doesn’t even let Ivanka finish the “assessment” of the teams that Melania gave.
Penn quickly gets his $40,000 for Opportunity Village and Plan-B high tail it upstairs where Stephen bets that Dennis will be fired. Penn thinks Trump will fire all four members of the team.
But Trump, after learning that Trace was responsible for the advertorial walks Dennis through the decision of who to bring back. Just Trace. Brande and Lil Jon are released to the suite.
It’s a painful Board Room: Part 2. Trace tries to blame it on “that little girl” who typed the words into the computer (and did all the design work). But she doesn’t even have a name and she isn’t up for elimination on this show. He was the one overseeing the work, and Dennis was the one who signed off on a misspelled slogan.
While Trace’s mistake was inexcusable, there’s really only one decision that can be made at this point. Trump tries to soften the blow by calling Dennis “the comeback kid of the season.” Then he fires him.
“Finally got fired,” Dennis tells the receptionist.
Back in the Board Room, Trump and his progeny are bummed. Bummed because they seem to like Dennis personally, and bummed because the only wacko character left on the show is Gary — and how long can he last? Soon they’ll be left with Marilu Henner’s obsession with dates, and Stephen Baldwin’s Snidely Whiplash act to keep viewers tuning in.
Next week the celebrities will have to create a silent movie. Something that comes up a lot in the real business world, I’m sure.
What did you think of this week’s show? Did I miss anything important? What will Team Power do now that they’re out of incompetent members to fire? Comment below!
